Dear Webby: Assign choice of program to open files 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  June 3, 2007

All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
--- Edward Gibbon

Because things are the way they are,
things will not stay the way they are.
--- Bertolt Brecht

Someone who knows how to play the accordion,
and doesn't."
--- Al Cohn's definition of a gentleman


Thanks to Karl in Denco for this story:
A German, a Frenchman, and an Israeli were out working in
the desert. Finally they got back into town and went into
the tavern.

Says the German:  "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have a
glass of beer."

Says the Frenchman:  "I'm tired and thristy, I must have a
glass of wine."

Says the Israeli:  "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


A cowboy is sitting in a bar.  A man comes up to him and
asks, " Are you a real cowboy?"

"Yep" replies the cowboy.  I ride the range looking after
the cattle and I fix the fences."

"Cool" says the man.  I've always wanted to meet a real
cowboy.  "Let me buy you a beer."

So, the cowboy and the man chat for awhile, and the man

A few minutes later a woman walks up to the cowboy.
"Are you a real cowboy?"

"Yep" replies the cowboy.  I ride the range looking after
the cattle and I fix the fences."

"I'm a lesbian" says the woman.

"What's a lesbian?" asks the cowboy.

"Well, when I wake up in the morning I'm thinking about
women.  When I'm in the shower I'm thinking about women.
When I'm eating I'm thinking about women.  Hell, I'm always
thinking about women."

"Hmm" replies the cowboy as the woman walks off with
her drink.

A few minutes later another man asks if he's a real cowboy.

"Well, up until a few minutes ago, I thought I was."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Damion M. Mosher, 18, of Lake Luzerne, New York Dumber than a bullet May 14, 2007 - Lake Luzerne, New York - AP A teenager who put bullets in a vise and whacked them with a hammer to empty the brass shell casings was wounded in the abdomen by approximately the 100th bullet he hit, according to Warren County deputies. Damion M. Mosher, 18, had been discharging .223-caliber rounds, placing them in a steel vise, putting a screwdriver on the primer, and striking the screwdriver with the hammer, deputies said. Deputies were called to his home in Lake Luzerne shortly after 5 p.m. Saturday when one bullet went about a half-inch into his abdomen. He was treated at Glens Falls Hospital and was released. No charges were filed. Mosher told authorities he was trying to empty the rounds to collect the brass casings for scrap. An employee of Capitol Scrap Co. in Albany said Monday the business pays $1.70 a pound for scrap brass shell casings. Cleveland said Mosher's shells amounted to just a few pounds. -------------------- Unless they were stolen, he could have sold the ammo to a local shooting range for good money. .223's are not cheap! ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks to Sandie for this picture: ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== Thanks to Connie for this: Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS . . . I'm sorry. . .what did you ask me? =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joyce Re: Choice of picture viewer Dear Webby, Whenever someone sends me a picture attachment, the Windows picture viewer pops up with the attachment. How can I change it so that my Picasa shows the picture instead of the Windows picture viewer? Is it even possible to change it to something other than that? Thanks and have a great weekend! Sincerely, Joyce Dear Joyce Go to MyComputer Tools Folder Options DON'T do what Microsoft says at they are a bit confused about it. Instead click on File Types After a while, it will fill it's window with all the file types and shows what programs are associated with them. Find JPG, and change it's file association to Picasa then do the same for GIF. When done, hit OK until you are out of all that. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 15, 2007 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin - AP Ryan Lipscomb lived to tell how it felt to have a truck run over his head. "Really strange," he said. Lipscomb, 26 of Seattle, suffered a concussion but was otherwise unhurt. He was shaken up, especially after he saw his mangled helmet. Lipscomb, a graduate student in medical physics at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, was riding down a bike path in Madison on Friday afternoon. As he approached an intersection, he said, he noticed the oncoming delivery truck preparing to make a right turn in front of him. The truck wasn't going to stop, Lipscomb said, so he slammed on his brakes, flipping his bike and landing in the street. A moment later the truck rolled over his head. "I didn't see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head," he told The Capital Times newspaper. "It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." His black helmet was flattened, tread marks visible on the cracked frame. Lipscomb was taken to a hospital and released about three hours later.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Freeze Items For Your Cooler Keep meat cool for longer when camping by freezing it before packing it in your cooler. You can also freeze prepared meals ahead of time like soup and chili. For long trips here are a few additional tricks: (With long trips I mean 7 - 14 day canoe trips in the wilderness, where there are no truckstops to get ice or supplies) Carefully plan the meals so that the perishables are used up in the first few days. Fill all empty spots in the cooler with dry ice. Unlike regular ice, do NOT put dry ice into ziplock bags! Dry ice is actually just compressed carbon dioxide snow and when it thaws, changes to gas. Drill a small air hole into the cooler lid to prevent a pressure build up and the lid going into orbit. If you can't get dry ice, use regular ice in ziplock baggies to fill every nook and crannie. Don't put all food into one cooler, but use a separate cooler for each canoe. Plan to carry the coolers for Kayakers on the canoes. You will still drift faster than they can paddle anyway. Cover the coolers with wet blankets. As the wind evaporates the water, it will take most of the evaporation heat from the cooler. Carry separate day-coolers and put the stuff, that you will need that day, into it in the early morning, so that you don't have to open the big coolers during the day. Keep your digital camera in a ziplock bag with a zipper knob. Only partially open the bag for taking pictures, so that you will not forget to put it back into the bag. If you think you can't enforce that, use disposable cameras. They float and are not harmed at all when they fall into the water. On a long trip they will. I know. Have FUN! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield during the night. So, he disregarded policy and, instead of making an official request to the tower, he said, "Guess who?" The air traffic controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?" ============================================= Big Joe, the local eccentric banged the door open to the coffee shop. "Ya see that dog outside with the lady?" he hollered. "She works for the bloody government" Joe was on his favourite rampage. He blamed the government for every wrong in the town. Joe was vibrating with anger. "She told me that dog has a nylon coat." He slammed his hand on the table. "Just look at that poor dogs ears. Damn govt, they been experimenting on that wee thing. They blew its ears up to the size of saucers." I took another look at the 'experimental' dog, trying to keep a straight face when I told him, "That's a Papillon. That's French for 'butterfly' as those dogs are bred to have big ears. The fur is normal, only said to be like nylon as dirt doesn't stick to it easily." I added, "They are very bright little dogs." Joe pondered for a moment." Well, that's sure for a fact then, the government had nuthin' to do with it." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, as the pastor was finishing the eulogy, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Fred had died. He said, "you know, ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!" ========================================
Thanks to Deeli for today's Bonus Link: Let's try it with the long link instead of a short snip URL Looks like we hit them too hard and knocked them off. "Remember Me" by Lizzy Palmer ... autoplay=1 An other link to it is this:
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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