Dear Webby: How to make a screen saver 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  June 4, 2007
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People with courage and character always
seem sinister to the rest.
--- Hermann Hesse

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Just as John got in the door, after staying at the bar a bit
too long, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times. He realized his wife would probably wake
up, so he cuckooed another 9 times. He was really proud of
myself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to
escape a possible conflict.

Next morning the wife asked him what time he got in and he
told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew!

Got away with that one!

She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When
he asked her why, she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said
'Oh, f@#%,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, snickered, and finally cuckooed
twice more, and then it farted."

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The company next door was encountering so many errors,
they are now seriously considering buying a computer to
blame them on.

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Casper, Wyoming Fire-EMS Department Anything to get some exercise in fresh air May 9, 2007 - Casper, Wyoming - AP The response was quick and complete: When a passer-by called Tuesday to report a worker dangling from a Western Area Power Administration tower 150 feet in the air, authorities responded by sending Casper Fire-EMS rescue and command units, two Natrona County sheriff's vehicles, a fire protection district rescue unit and a Life Flight helicopter. All to rescue a dummy. Dave Neumayer, district manager for the power company, said the rescue dummy had been suspended from the tower last week as part of a training exercise. Lightning slowed plans to remove the dummy from the tower. The passer-by couldn't have known that. But Neumayer said the Casper Fire-EMS Department should have known - they participated in the training exercise. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Kati for this picture: Finally found a way to stabilize my weight! I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years. We must get the word out. Kati ===========================================
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=========================================== Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute." Marie snapped. "You're just saying that to make me jealous." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Taurus Re: Making screen Savers Dear Webby, As I have told you many times, I love your Dad's pictures of his cacti. I would like to make them in to screen savers, but my senior mind has forgot how. Can you help me? I have learned many things from your computer tips and enjoy the letter immensely. I like the links you have on left side as they remind me to click on them & feed the poor, animals, and the breast cancer sight. You do lots of good for so many. Many thanks, Taurus. Dear Taurus The easiest way to make a screensaver is this: Use the Windows File Explorer to find your "My Pictures" folder. Make a new folder inside that and call it Archive Switch the File Explorer to Thumbnail view, Click on Folders, so that it shows the folders on the left side. (This works much better in Classical mode) Drag all pictures that you don't want included in your screen saver into the "Archive" folder. Save any new pictures, that you want included, into the "My Pictures" folder. Right-click on the desktop, Properties, Appearance, Screensaver Select "My Pictures" Set the delay time, and hit OK a bunch of times. From then on you will have a slide show of the pictures in "My Pictures" as a screen saver. If you want to make screen savers to send to friends, pick one from http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q ... &meta= Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 14, 2007 - Shuyang, Jiangsu,China - Ananova A Chinese grandmother who went to hospital with a headache was found to have had a bullet in her head for 64 years. Jin Guangying, 77, of Shuyang town, Jiangsu province, went to to Shuyang Leniency Hospital for an x-ray. "We were surprised to learn there was a bullet inside her head," her son, Wang Zhengbang, told the Yangtse Evening Post. Jin remembers that she was shot in 1943 during the Second World War by the invading Japanese army when she was taking supplies to her guerrilla father. "I was 13, living along the railways in Xuzhou city. One afternoon in September, my mother asked me to take a meal to my father and his colleagues who were fighting the Japanese," she said. "I was spotted by the Japanese army. They ran after me and opened fire. A bullet passed through the corner of my right ear. I hit the ground and lost consciousness." When Jin regained consciousness, she was already back home in bed. Her mother applied herbal medicines to the wound. Amazingly, she recovered after three months. Jin later learned that the bullet had gone through the arm of a person beside her before hitting her head. The chief surgeon, who removed the rusty bullet, was amazed it had remained in her head for so long without causing major problems. "The fact that the bullet lost strength and speed passing through another person, and that the point it struck is not vital, may explain her survival," he said.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 6Aempress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beverage Cooler for Camping Bringing a cooler just for beverages when camping. That way, people can get into the cooler for beverages without letting cold air out of your food cooler. Also, save space by freezing some water bottles. You will have some fresh water on hand and not have to pack as much ice.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never quite got caught." ============================================= DISCIPLINARIAN OR PUSHOVER Feeding beloved pets gives us a warm feeling of satisfaction. Like us, pets love food that isn't good for them. How often have you crept out to the kitchen in the middle of the night to indulge in a snack only to be followed by the family critters. Animals seem to have a built in radar that alerts them the second the fridge door is opened. You hiss at them to go back to bed. However they consider the food to be as much theirs as yours. What you eat, they want. They know how to bully you emotionally plus are professionals at making you feel rotten to the core if you don't offer them a bite. I am convinced all pets come equipped at birth with knowledge of how to make humans suffer from extreme guilt. What they aren't born knowing, their mother's must teach them. Where do you rank with your fur-kids?A complete pushover or with discipline needed to say no! I'm afraid my critters have me well trained. I happily share! Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== A woman was looking for a used car to buy and saw an ad in the classifieds. It read: Brand new 1995 Mercedes Benz, slate blue, loaded, etc. Sell for $150.00. She was astonished and decided to call the seller and check it out. The woman selling the car was glad to show it to her and, to her surprise, the car was in perfect condition. She asked the woman, "What's the catch? Why are you selling this car so cheaply?" "Well," she said, "it's my husband's car actually, and he recently ran off with his young secretary. I got a telegram from him last week that read: 'In Miami. Need bail money. Sell car'." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Marbles http://www.glassartists.org/Gal27134_Marbles.asp
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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