Dear Webby: Best digital camera choice 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  June 25, 2007

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't
pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism
a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
--- Lucille Ball


Thanks to Dianne for this fishy story:
Fred Green, an avid fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with
six large size salmon in his creel.

Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing.
"Yes!" replied old Fred.

Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he
had used chewing tobacco.

Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and the
fisherman replied,
"I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in
the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on
the line to hook it.
When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with
the butt of my rod!


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Thanks to Robert for this story:
Be sure  and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is
priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service
being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and
Citibank billed her for February & March for their  annual
service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and
interest  on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00,
now somewhere around  $60.00. A family member placed
a call to Citibank here's the  exchange:

Family Member:"I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank:  "The account was never closed and the late fees &
charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe,  you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past  due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she
is  dead?"
Citibank: "Either report  her account to frauds division or
report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you  think God will be mad at her?"
(I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I  was telling you
the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to  my supervisor." (Duh!)
(Supervisor gets on the phone):
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell  you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never  closed, so the late fees
and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught
by the bank!)
Family Member:  "Do you mean you want to collect from her
Citibank: (Stammering) "Are you her  lawyer?"
Family Member: "No,  I'm her great nephew."
Citibank: "Could you fax us a  certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they
get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup  for death. I don't know
what more I
can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it  out, great! If not, you could just
keep billing her. I really don't think she  will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply."
(What is wrong with these  people?!?)
Family Member:  "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "Yes, that will  help."
Family Member: "  Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129,
Plot Number  69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a  cemetery!"
Family Member: "What  do you do with dead people on your


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Maurice Stuckey in Port Lucie, Florida DUH! June 22, 2007 - Port Lucie, Florida - AP Police said an Illinois man is facing charges of marijuana possession after he asked a police officer for directions while he had a marijuana cigarette behind his ear. Maurice Stuckey approached a police officer in a parking lot and asked for directions. The officer asked Stuckey about the cigarette and Stuckey told him it held marijuana. That's when the officer searched Stuckey's car and found a plastic bag with five-grams of marijuana. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: A guy practising on a genuine Swiss Alphorn in the early morning mist at Weaselhead Park in Calgary =========================================== Thanks to Sandie for this story: I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area. "A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted. "Look, I'll show you." I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, "Aren't you glad it didn't go 'four, three, two, one'"? =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: David Re: Which digital camera is best? Dear Webby, Which digital camera is best? And which parts of them are the most important criteria? What is better, Canon or Nikon? David Dear David The most important criteria is your budget. If you get too close to the limit of it, the best camera is always not going to be quite good enough. Second most important is lens size. The larger the lens, the more light the chip has to work with. Third is the electronics, especially how the camera interpretes the analog signals into digital. Canon and Nikon are best there, with the rest of them seemingly a class or more below. Fourth is Optical Zoom. Forget digital zoom, that's just cropping the picture, enlarging it digitally and making it coarse. Forget about the number of Megapixels. That number is usually just a number picked by an advertising editor and in the small print they admit that it is "equivalent to so many Megapixels". 3 Megapixels are fine, but at around 5 you start wasting space on the memory chip and get into problems with working on the pictures in full size. How much free and available RAM do you have on your computer? There is no point in paying for 12 or more megapixels and then having to set the camera to take pictures at 1600x1200, ( 1.9 Megapixels ). More pixels don't extend you reach into the dark at all. It's the same amount of light split into more real and calculated pixels. I am a purist and don't use flash. It makes pictures flat. I found that I can reach much farther into the dark with my old Canon G3 than with the newer one with a lot more megapixels. So I will be hanging on to that old G3. Canon versus Nikon is a religious question. They are both so good, that the skill of the photographer makes a much bigger difference than the brand. Each has it's own distinct peculiarities, that you can take advantage of, once you get familiar with your camera. But the differences are not big enough that anybody would buy one of each. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos June 11, 2007 - Morrow, Georgia - Gimundo On May 15th, teacher Shirley Hines sat down for lunch with a few of her fifth-grade students at Thurgood Marshall Elementary School in Morrow, Ga. It was just an ordinary day — until Hines began to choke on a piece of lasagna. At first, said Hines, “I was able to cough a couple of times. But after a few seconds, I realized that I couldn’t breathe at all.” One of Hines’ students, 11-year-old Lester Knauls, immediately sprang into action. “Lester asked me, ‘Ms. Hines, are you all right?’” Hines, unable to speak, shook her head and pointed behind her, motioning for him to slap her back. Instead, Lester stood up, made a fist, and pushed beneath her ribcage in a perfect rendition of the Heimlich maneuver. The food came loose immediately. “He absolutely saved my life,” said Hines. Later, Lester told his teacher that “he didn’t even know there was a name for what he did,” said Hines. He’d never seen the Heimlich maneuver on television, or read about it in a book. But instinctively, when his teacher was in trouble, he knew what to do. “He thought I was going to die, and he couldn’t allow it,” said Hines. Hines says she is amazed by Lester’s courage and grace under pressure. “I told him, ‘You’re not just my student, you’re my hero,’” she said. “I think we will always be joined by the heart.”
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Flour Tortilla Noodles Cut flour tortillas into strips with a pizza cutter. Use them instead of noodles when you make "Chicken and Noodles". Nobody will ever guess that they aren't "Homemade Noodles". By Harlean
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're Looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew...... "Dumb Bastids won't let me fart!" ============================================= FUN LOVING PUGS TEACH LESSON It had been three days of long hard work for the high school kids. They had been on their hands and knees, painstaking setting up a Lego design showing their school logo and mascot. At last, the final piece was in place. Everyone stepped back, oh so carefully. Applause broke out. The school principal, was a nervous wreak. He relaxed to admire the handiwork. It was truly a work of art. Until..... Someone had left a door open. In dashed two black Pugs. Any one who knows and loves the breed, understands these wee dogs think the world was made only for them. To play in. These two spotted the Lego display, tried to stop, but crashed right into it on their bottoms. The second the Lego's began to fall, they were thrilled. What an exciting new game! There were screams of dismay, "Stop them!" The overwrought principal was on his knees begging the pugs to come to him. They did. Both little clowns leaped right up, scrubbing his face, sending him flying into the toppling Lego's. Someone started to giggle. It got louder. The kids finally realized it was the prone principal who was laughing like a loon. The damage was done. He rolled around on the floor, romping with the two dogs, Lego's sailing into every corner. He yelled to the kids," Hey guys, we can re-build, but take a lesson from these two dogs, let's just have fun." Well said Mr. Principal, well said! Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Thanks to Cookie for bringing back this classic: There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the pastor's reply. "This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. "That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked. "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor. The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also, always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement." "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance! So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork...the best is yet to come." The pastor' s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Prairie Pix
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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