Dear Webby: MSN's mail problems 

Good Morning !
Thursday,  June 28, 2007
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I may not agree with what you say,
but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
--- Voltaire


Communism is like one big phone company.
--- Lenny Bruce

=======================================

Thanks to Shirley for this story:
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.


"Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grand-mother's meatloaf for dinner
tonight and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly,
and I know I have the recipe right, because it's the one
you gave me. But, it just didn't come out right and I'm so
upset. I wanted this to be so special for George, because
he loves meatloaf. What could have gone wrong"?


Her mother replied soothing-ly, "Well, dear, let's go through
the recipe. You read it out loud, and tell me exactly what
you did at each step and to-gether we'll figure it out."


"Okay," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out,
'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef.'


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Text-Start, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


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One day a man called the church office. He said,
"Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"


The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said,
"I'm sorry, who?"


The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the
trough?"


She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may
refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you
not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!"


To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving
$100,000 to the building fund...."


To this the secretary quickly responded
"Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!"


===========================================


Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Susanne Reiter, 21, and her mother Petra, 43 in Leipzig, Germany Tempest in a teapot June 27, 2007 - Leipzig, Germany - Ananova German police found a bride-to-be and her mother fighting over her wedding dress and choice of rings. Neighbours of Susanne Reiter, 21, and her mother Petra, 43, called police after hearing screams, smashing furniture and breaking crockery at the women's home in Leipzig. When they arrived, they found the pair fighting and throwing vases at each other. Petra told cops, who managed to separate her from her daughter, that the fight had started when she told her daughter she thought her choice of wedding dress and rings was terrible. They were given a warning for breaching the peace. http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2391146.html?menu= ===========================================
We have a date for you!
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=========================================== Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture: =========================================== A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90... =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Paul Re: "Unsafe" content blocked by MSN Dear Webby, This is what MSN is doing to stop your daily letters. What can we do to stop this type of action? Paul G ----- O "Unsafe content has been blocked" If you receive this message, MSN has automatically blocked content that might harm your computer, such as ...blah, blah, blah Message ----- Dear Paul Just tell the sniveling ninnies to stuff their censorship where the sun doesn't shine, and get a more competent email provider. I sent you a referral to gmail. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos June 27, 2007 - Grand Rapids, Michigan - AP Bill Barnes says he was scratching off a losing $2 lottery ticket inside a gas station when he felt a hand slip into his front-left pants pocket, where he had $300 in cash. He immediately grabbed the person's wrist with his left hand and started throwing punches with his right, landing six or seven blows before a store manager intervened. "I guess he thought I was an easy mark," Barnes, 72, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Tuesday. He's anything but an easy mark: Barnes served in the Marines, was an accomplished Golden Gloves boxer and retired after 20 years as an iron worker. Jesse Daniel Rae, 27, was arraigned Monday in Rockford District Court on one count of unarmed robbery. Barnes said he had just withdrawn the money from a bank machine and put it in the pocket of his shorts before driving to a service station in Comstock Park, a Grand Rapids suburb. He remembers noticing a patron acting suspiciously, asking the price of different brands of cigarettes and other items. While turned away, Barnes felt the hand in his pocket, so he took action. "I guess I acted on instinct," he said. Kent County sheriff's deputies said the store manager quickly came around the counter. The three struggled through the front door, where two witnesses said the manager slammed Rae to the ground and held him there. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/ ... ource=mypi
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 6Aempress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemonade Ice Cubes The next time you make lemonade, fill an ice cube tray with it to make some lemonade ice cubes. As they melt, they won't dilute your glass of lemonade. They are also good in iced tea!
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
Dorothy released three new movies of the bear cubs near her place yesterday. Same cubs as you saw last week, just fresh fun. If you click on the dice at the bottom of the player, it will jump to full monitor size. Esc returns to small size. If your mail program does not let you play the movie, go to http://webby.com/humor http://webby.com/humor and play it there. Bear Cubs Wrestling in Snow Next one will be tomorrow. ============================================= GOLDEN SHOW STOPPER The bride was beautiful. She floated down the isle in a gown that looked like a huge puffy cloud. Her husband to be couldn't hold back the tears. She however was quite composed. There was a ripple laughter when he was heard to say, "I thought this day, and night would never come." They knelt, her gown billowing around her. It became apparent that something was very wrong. From her tiny waist down, the gown was alive. It moved, twisted, the fabric seemed to take on a life of it's own. The bride was in distress. She gasped, then to the shock of the quests, slapped her befuddled groom. The entire congregation heard her say, "Can't you wait, get your hands off my bum!" The poor man held his hands up in front of her. She freaked, leaping up, shaking the volumes of gauzy material, The guests saw it first. The church rang with laughter. Her skirts held high, to reveal to all, a golden puppy. He had a firm grip on her garter and was not about to be cheated out of his prize. He had walked unseen under the brides gown, until he could get a good grab, but had to put his paws on her bottom to do so. We all rocked with laughter when the minister said, " I now pronounce you husband, wife and garter thief." Leave it to a sweet golden puppy to steal the show. He raced down the isle ahead of the bride and groom, happily shaking his circle of ribbon. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Underwater Pictures
======================================== if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby




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