Dear Webby: Too large fonts 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  July 3, 2007

"The universe is change...Our life is what our thoughts make it"
--- Marcus Aurelius, Roman Empoeror


 Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible
 and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he
 was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad
 language; he even threatened me!"

 "How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned.

 She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car."


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A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh
blood, and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him
about where he got it.  He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them
to please leave him alone.  However, it was clear that he wasn't going
to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.

"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the
cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep
forest.  Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly
gathered around him.

"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melissa Dunning, 31, Santa Barbara, California Dopey Teacher June 29, 2007 - Santa Barbara, California - AP A Goleta Valley Junior High School teacher is facing charges for allegedly smoking marijuana with two students. Melissa Dunning, 31, was charged Wednesday with two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and one count of furnishing marijuana. She faces arraignment July 3. The parents of a 14-year-old student at the school told sheriff's deputies on May 31 that they suspected their son and the teacher had been smoking pot, Sgt. Erik Raney said. Dunning had tutored the boy at her home. Investigators said Dunning smoked pot with the teen on three occasions. A second 14-year-old student participated one of those time, Raney said. ... eacher_pot ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Donnie for sending this picture of hibiscus. =========================================== A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kitty Re: No pictures and large fonts Dear Webby i havent been on line over a month. i've been out of town with my sister who is verry sick with Cancer. and now i canot see the pictures on your Dear webby page. :( and there is so much mail Grrrrr. i was telling my younger sister about you. and she has a question for you. she knows verry little about computers. and i canot help her. on her pc. the icons ate huge. and i canot find her pgograms. fron the start. help.... i hope you have a super nice 4th. Dear Kitty I am forwarding your letter to the Express Empress, because I have no clue about Outlook Express. Re your sister: Sounds like her machine is running in SAFE mode. Tell her to reboot and choose "Normal". Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos June 10, 2007 - Yuma, Arizona - AP An 81-year-old man has set off on a 3,200-kilometre bicycle ride around Arizona's perimeter. Bill Anderson of Yuma plans to complete the trip in 14 to 16 days. He is riding to raise money for Yuma's Crossroads Mission, which provides shelter, meals, showers and clothing to the homeless. Last year, Anderson rode from the Mexican border to the Canadian line and back again to raise money. In 2004, he made two trips for the mission: one from Canada to Mexico and another from San Diego to Jacksonville Beach, Florida. Anderson left Yuma on Tuesday in his most recent ride. ... 31-ap.html
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Cooking Different Cuts of Meat Tough cuts of meat are best cooked with moisture like stewing or using a slow cooker. The moisture will soften tough cuts of meat and make them more appetizing. Tender cuts of meat should be cooked with dry heat by pan frying, barbecuing or oven roasting.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy." "Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends. "I don't know yet," the boy replied. "but it sure was the toughest spelling test I ever had!" ============================================= LION HEARTED The police in a sleepy Alberta town were notified that a very panicked citizen was at a local garage screaming in terror. When they arrived, they met the man, who had peed his pants, could hardly stand, while he pointed at a garage. They could detect no smell of alcohol. The man blithered there was a was a wild lion loose in that garage. The monster had chased him, snarling. He was so frightened the officers took him seriously, drawing their guns, crept cautiously into the garage After a few minutes they came out, hanging onto each other, barely able to talk for laughing. They called the man over. "We found your lion, take a look." Out walked the most embarrassed dog in the world. He was the garage guard dog. It was painful to look at him. Yellow, huge, he had once sported long shaggy hair. The owner had taken him to a groomer to be shaved. He had also given the groomer a bottle of strong homemade wine. The groomer went creative. He shaved the poor dog, leaving a huge ruff around his neck, a puff on the end of the tail, plus styled huge furry boots on his feet. He did indeed look like a lion. Sort of. A crowd gathered, everyone shaking with mirth. The lion dog had enough. He opened his mouth and roared. The crowd scattered, the cops leaped into their car. The owner walked out of the garage, wiping his hands on a greasy rag. He grinned at the dog, "Atta boy, you should get a medal for bravery under fire." Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Bob was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was his first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" he asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Biggest Bubble
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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