Dear Webby: Report scams 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  July 6, 2007
Wear something red today to show your support for the troops!

No opera plot can be sensible,
for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
--- W. H. Auden

Ask yourself the easy questions and you’ll have a hard life,
ask yourself the hard questions and you’ll have an easier life!
— Peter Thomson:


Thanks to Nari for bringing back this classic:

I was a Bible seller a few years ago when I was down on my
luck a bit. Trying to sell Bibles on the corner was tough and
I wasn't doing too well when this young fellow with a really
bad stutter came up to me and said,
"Wha wha what are you, you, try try trying to s s s sell?"

I said I'm selling Bibles and I'm not doing too well.
Well with that he made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
"C c c can I t t ttake a couple and s s s sell them them
d d door to d d door for you?" he asked.

So I gave him three Bibles and he was off, but only for
twenty minutes and he was back cash in hand, amazing!
So with no hesitation he was off with six more, and again
about half an hour later, all gone! Incredible, too good to
be true, so I thought I'd follow him and see what his
secret was!

He tapped on the door of his next house and I heard him
say to the householder,"W ww wo wou would you you you
li li li like t t t to b b b buy a B B BIble or would y y y you
you you li li li like like m m me t t t ta read it t t to you?!!


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Tower: "Alpha Charlie, climb immediately to
four thousand feet for noise abatement."

Pilot: "How can I possibly be creating
excess noise at three thousand feet?"

Tower: "At four thousand feet, you will miss
that ugly helicopter ahead of you. They make a
big racket when you hit them."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 53-year-old Anthony Zuniga Mail Thief! July 3, 2007 - Houston, Texas - AP A federal judge in Houston has ordered a year and a-half in prison for a now-former postal clerk in a DVD-by-mail theft investigation. Authorities accused 53-year-old Anthony Zuniga of Houston of swiping thousands of movies from the mail system. Zuniga was convicted of two counts of mail theft by a postal employee. He also was sentenced Monday to three years probation and must pay a $4,000 fine. Netflix last year notified the U.S. Postal Service about an unusually high number of DVDs missing from a certain post office box. Investigators said Zuniga was stationed at that center. Prosecutors said surveillance showed Zuniga stealing 122 DVDs from the post office. On Aug. 3, 2006, inspectors observed Zuniga dumping a tub of Netflix and Blockbuster DVDs into a plastic bag and then leaving the postal facility with the plastic bag. Zuniga's vehicle was stopped as it was exiting the parking lot and inspectors found the plastic bag containing the DVDs on the floor of the vehicle. The bag contained 122 DVDs. After an interview with postal inspectors, Zuniga consented to a search of his home. Inside the home, inspectors found 8,177 stolen pieces of mail -- including 5,937 Netflix DVDs and 1,497 Blockbuster DVDs. Zuniga, who had been a Postal Service employee since 1974, resigned his job after being caught stealing the DVDs. ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Hi Webby- Love your newsletter. I was trying to take a picture of one of our Ranunculus flowers, when my dog decided to smell the camera instead of the flower. I thought your readers might find the picture funny. Hope you have an wonderful day, Ana =========================================== Old man Zack had an incredible mule. They had been together for years and stayed pretty much to themselves. One day, Zack and his mule were walking down the road when a passerby asked if Zack needed a ride to town. Zack accepted the offer and the driver asked, "What about your mule?" Zack said, "Oh, don't worry about him. He'll keep up." Then Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind. The driver was a little cruel and decided to speed up a little. The mule was right in back of them as they reached 55 mph. The driver accelerated and the mule and stayed with them. They reached 70 miles per hour and the mule was still right behind them. The driver couldn't believe this. He turned to Zack and said, "I'm worried about your mule. His tongue is hanging out." Zack said, "Which way?" The driver said, "Left." And Zack said, "Well, stay in this lane, he's about to pass." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== Today I'll show you a typical help request of the type that I answer hundreds of during the day. Isn't it amazing what some people do to amuse me? From the Tech Support Pits: From: typical NON-subsriber Re: Visitors help Request Name: Loraine e-mail: **** Tried to: Pick up a Postcard Cards from: Had an error: none Comments: Depending on what it says and whom it's from, I may need this cared in a court case. Thanks for the help. The message I get when I attempt to open it and the email. "The server at is taking too long to respond." Complete copy of email: From: "MyPostcards.Com" .............. Dear Lorraine Yes, it would be great if you took that spoof to court! You can easily get all the information you need if you 1) reveal the headers of that spoof mail 2) paste that information to the Spamcops at 3) print the analysis report that they will provide. 4) provide that analysis report and the original spoof to your lawyer. Even if your lawyer discourages you from suing the Russian spoofer, (that IP number is registered in Russia), you will still gain a lot of insight when you look at the analysis report from the Spamcops. By the way, sells postcard SOFTWARE, but doesn't send postcards. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 1, 2007 - Miami, Florida - AP A 105-year-old Cuban-born man who had at least one pending wish finally had it fulfilled _ he became a U.S. citizen. Jose Temprana celebrated by sipping champagne with friends at the Hispanic Community Center in Miami on Friday. ''I feel different,'' said Temprana, who served 30 years in Cuban jails. ''Satisfied, very happy. It was worth the wait.'' Temprana has the vitality of a younger man. Nicknamed ''El Nino'' (The Boy), he rides his scooter to the store to play the lottery, rolls his own cigars, drinks whiskey with neighbors and has a girlfriend. ''He's just got a great spirit,'' said his neighbor Patti Hernandez. ''Everybody's going, 'Come on, he can't really be that old.''' Temprana was born in the Cuban province of Pinar del Rio on Sept. 26, 1901. He worked as a sponge diver and lobster fisherman and had eight children with his first wife, who died giving birth to the youngest. He remarried, and his second wife died in 2002. In 1964, he was imprisoned in Cuba for smuggling weapons from the United States into the island for an insurrection against Fidel Castro. Temprana got out at age 93, applied for a humanitarian visa and flew to Miami. Once here, he worked to get his citizenship but fell short twice. ''I've wanted ... it since I was 8 or 10 years old,'' Temprana said. ... itizen.htm
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Reduce Static On Carpets To cut down on those annoying static shocks from walking on your carpet, mix 1 part fabric softener to 5 parts water in a clean spray bottle. Put the spray bottle on its widest setting and spray your carpet with a light mist. That makes your hallways smell nice, but on some carpets may increase the static when the water dries. Plus it can get rather expensive! Most hotels, that have static problems on long hallways, use a bottle cap full of vinegar in a quart sprayer and the rest of it filled with water. That is the sorta familiar, but hard to indentify, fresh scent that you smell in the hallways of many of the better hotels. At a dollar per gallon it's also a lot cheaper. Have FUN! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. She said, "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." Then, returning to reality, she added, "But, if the guy is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress, don't wait any longer." ============================================= A few questions I've been asked about dogs. Q. Why does our family dog claim our favourite chair as his own. A. Same reason you do. It's probably soft and comfortable, nice cushions or a blanket to cuddle into. The chair is likely placed in a spot where there aren't any drafts, or beside a window so he can watch the world go by. But more likely, because the chair smells like you. Sitting in your favourite chair, when you're not around comforts him so he's not quite as lonely. Learn to share. Q. Do dogs have bellybuttons? A. Yes, but you'll have to look really closely to find it. It's the same as with humans, a dog's bellybutton marks the spot where the umbilical cord was attached before he was born. Q. I have two long haired Persian cats. My small dog insists on sleeping with them, and is quite aggressive about sharing their bed. Should I stop him from doing this? The cats lick him, I don't think that is good for them. A. Now that's one smart dog! If the cat's are allowing him to join them in their space they can't be all that concerned. He gets to sleep with soft fluffy cushions that vibrate. Cat's like to groom, if they are in grooming 'mode' he's going to get scrubbed. It sounds like the three have it all worked out. Just enjoy. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A middle aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." The man said, "Well, to be honest with you Doc, I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Pretty Things
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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