Dear Webby: RTF Gobledigook 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  July 9, 2007

"No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave."
--- Calvin Coolidge


From Tim
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up
call.  The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did
not ring until 6:30.

"Good morning," a young man said sheepishly.
"This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it.  "You were supposed
to call me at 6!",  I complained.  "What if I had a million-dollar
deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss
out on it?"

"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a
million-dollar deal to close, you wouldn't be staying in
this motel!"


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Thanks to Sandie for these Call Center recordings:

Customer:   "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and
can't get through; can you help?"

Operator:   "Where did you get that number, sir?"

Customer:   "It's on the door of your business."

Operator:   "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )

"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England ,
do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
get my file back again?"


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Victoria McArthur of Boston Massachusetts Too klutzy for eating candy A Michigan woman is claiming that a Mars candy turned into locked her jaw, and now she's suing Mars. Victoria McArthur said she locked her jaw while eating Starburst candies. She said a piece of the candy caused her top and bottom teeth to stick together, resulting in a condition called "temporal mandibular joint dysfunction." McArthur is demanding $25,000 from the Mars Corp. to pay for her rehabilitation, plus compensation for her pain and suffering. She may have difficulty proving in court that she locked her jaw because of eating a Mars candy, and not because of trying to say "temporal mandibular joint dysfunction" while eating another brand of candy. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks for Dianne for sending this picture: Tide coming in at LaJolla =========================================== "My wooden leg was hurting me something fierce last night," complained Art, a Viet Nam Vet. That's impossible," said his neighbour, "How can a wooden leg hurt you?" The vet replied, "My old lady hit me over the head with it when I came in late." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jaye Re: Gobledigook Dear Webby I wrote to my nephew, was ok when I sent it to him, when he replied to me this is how the letter I wrote to him came back in the reply. >´╗┐We did our best to distract her honey, but...........Maddy is very bright and never bit for our humorous attempts┬ of┬ ┬ distraction. Jaye Dear Jaye He is abusing Microsoft WORD. Tell him to read the instructions about mailing from WORD and to turn off RTF. That's just for using amongst WORD users who don't have standard email programs. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 1, 2007 - Takoma Park, Maryland - Press Release Cub Scouts from Takoma Park, Maryland recently raised enough money selling lemonade to protect a section of rainforest in Guyana more than six times the size of their hometown. The project was based on a suggestion by Scout Alex Rice's father, Dick, chief economist at Conservation International, which has an innovative agreement to lease 200,000 acres of rainforest in Guyana. CI pays the government what it would have received had the area been logged. CI has partnered with Save Your World(TM),, a natural, quality personal care product company with conservation objectives. Save Your World(TM) is helping to pay the annual royalties and fees required to maintain this agreement. Charging 30 cents a cup, the scouts knew they would be protecting significant acreage with each lemonade sale. "We tried to make prices a multiple of 15 cents, because 15 cents saves an acre of land for one year" said Cub Scout Aaron Richards. Drinks and snacks sold at the annual soapbox derby quickly generated $426.13 and with double matching funds from Save Your World(TM) and CI, the total $1278.39 saved 8,523 acres of rainforest for one year. Not bad for a Saturday afternoon. The pace was set by Aaron, 11, and his sister Alana, 8, who together donated $171.33 -- a whole year's worth of funds saved for charity. "I have been saving since last year because I thought we might do another lemonade stand to save the rainforest," said Aaron. "We get $3 allowance every week; $1 goes into the bank, $1 goes to anything we want, and $1 goes to community service or charity." Lemonade for forest
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Baby Food Jars For Small Items
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!" ============================================= SONG IN THE KEY OF BAAAA Bedlam. That's what the bus driver was thinking as he picked up the last three students riding the school bus. There was some sort of scuffle at the back of the bus, he got up to settle things down. Shutting the door, he headed out for the school, dreaming of retirement. Suddenly he heard a sound that he couldn't quite figure out. The kids in unison made the same noise. Baaaa. Was this some sort of new song, a game, or just a new way for him to grow more grey hair? He liked the kids but they could be weird to his way of thinking. It was only a 10 minute drive, but the entire trip the kids sang our, Baaaa, Baaaa over and over. He sighed, this generation of kids were just not on his wave length. He stopped the bus, allowing the kids to head off to school. Standing outside the bus, he relaxed. That had to one of the strangest rides ever. He heard it again. Baaaa. Damn, it must be his new hearing aids. He took them out, walked over to a friends bus where they headed out for coffee. Alone under a tree, a nice little goat sat. Lots of grass to eat, human's who petted him, and best of all, a ride where all the kids talked his language. It was well worth, jumping the fence, climbing aboard the bus and talking goat with all the kids. He'd wait right here until they came out to go home. Baaaa Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have dextrocardia. "What's that?" she asked. "It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than on the left," I answered. "You should set up your machine to accommodate that." As she attached the wires, she asked casually, "Tell me, have you had that for long?" ========================================
Thanks to Trish for today's Bonus Link: Pommegranates
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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