Dear Webby: Puppy Spam 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  July 10, 2007
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"It's graduation time in New York City and many of the
students here are honor students. Yes your honor, no your
honor, not guilty your honor." --Dave Letterman

=======================================

 The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said,
"Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.
You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons.
They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"


"Not really," Willie said, "If nobody ain't got no crayons,
then what happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't got?"

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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Thanks to Kati for this story:
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his Mom is
baking. He puts his Hand in the flour and then wipes it all
over his face."Mamacita, look, I'm a white boy."

His Mom slaps his face and says, "Go show your Father."

He goes to his Dad in the living room and says,
"Look Papacita, I'm a white boy."
His Dad slaps him hard in the face and says,
"Go show you Grandmother."

The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says,
"Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy."
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him
back to his Mother.

His mother says, "What did you learn from that?"

The boy replies:
"I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't
like you Mexicans!"

===========================================

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Giordano, 47, of New York Some budy! June 30, 2007 - New York - AP With his roommate still unconscious from a car crash, Anthony Giordano told police officers he was the injured man's brother and took his wallet before embarking on a $22,000 spending spree, police said. Giordano, a former Long Island resident, was extradited to New York from South Carolina on Friday, according to the Suffolk County Police Department. He faces charges of identity theft and grand larceny. Authorities said Giordano, 47, was already lying to his roommate at the time of the crash, telling Geoffrey MacMurdo he was a Sept. 11 victim and a New York firefighter. When MacMurdo was involved in the crash in June 2005 that eventually cost him his leg, Giordano claimed his belongings from officers, police said. Giordano ran up more than $22,000 in charges on his roommate's credit cards and on new cards he took out in MacMurdo's name, police said. He used the cards at a strip club and to buy a 15-year-old Jeep, police said. After the crash, Giordano continued to live with MacMurdo. He moved out without warning in May 2006 and eventually moved to South Carolina. It was only after he moved that his roommate began to suspect him. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/0706 ... mate_theft ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks for Dani from Montana for sending this picture: =========================================== Thanks for Cookie for bringing back this classic: Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce a year before. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding." Jennifer just smiled at her mother. =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eric Re: Puppies spam Dear Webby Lately I have received unsolicited mail from somebody claiming to have puppies available to a good home, first there was a batch of letters about pugs, now a bunch about bulldogs. The letters showed up in all of my business and private addresses. So, something is obviously fishy! What's the scoop? Eric Dear Eric I got them too, but mailWasher dumped them. However, I was able to restore one of them and sent it to SpamCop. Those puppy letters come from or through a spam server in Thailand. They are fairly harmless dupe harvesters. As long as you let MailWasher dump them, nothing will happen. However, if your Gramma doesn't have proper spam protection, and is gullible enough to reply, she will be added to some "Most Gullible Dupes" database, and can expect all kinds of sleazy scams showing up in her mailbox. Whenever you see copies of the same unexpected letter from a stranger arrive at multiple mailboxes, dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos June 22, 2007 - CNET News Solar energy isn't the only renewable resource: there's also garbage. A company called AgriPower will begin production next year of a movable power generator fueled by a wide range of waste products, from walnut shells to discarded tires. Although solar and wind energy are the best-known renewable energies, generating power from biomass is getting a closer look, as societies try to diversify their fuel sources. AgriPower's combined heat and power system was originally envisioned for developing countries that could burn agricultural wastes to make electricity and heat. The multi-piece unit includes a large feed hopper that holds 5 tons of material, and a high-temperature incinerator that vaporizes biomass as it comes in. The resulting heat can be used to turn a turbine to make 300 kilowatts of electricity. The heat can also be used to power other processes like heating. http://news.com.com/Portable+power+from ... g=txt.caro
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 7empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Check the Date When Buying Dairy When buying milk or any dairy product at the grocery store, be sure to check the "use by" or "sell buy" date on the packaging. If the date is not to your liking, grab a carton from the back of shelf. There is no sense is buying products that will go bad before you can use them.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license plate number!" "That's no help," Bubba replied, "I'm using the license plate I stole off the mayor's truck to cut down on the speeding tickets." ============================================= GINGER'S DIMPLES A young girl was sitting in front of the vetetarinarians, crying, with her small dog in her arms. Concerned, I asked if could help. She hugged her dog closer. "My mom is going to be so mad at me." She broke into sobs. "She told me I could have Ginger as long as she didn't cause any trouble." I glanced at her dog Ginger, biting my lip to keep from smiling. The small dog had a head, a tail, the middle was a bloated sausage. I've never seen a dogs bottom that had dimples. After more questioning, plus passing on a Kleenex, I learned more. She spent six months with her dad, the next half year with her mom. Dad had bought the puppy, mom said she could bring the thing with her, only if the dog didn't cause any problems. The dog was sick at the airport, so a disquieted mom took the kid and fat dog to the vet. The girl started crying again. "The vet said my dog was too heavy, she has to lose weight." Sad blue eyes looked up at me. "I've never had a dog before. Ginger is supposed to eat special diet food now, Mom is going to be so ticked off." She hugged her dog tighter. "The vet told me that Ginger was pushing my buttons to get food, and that I was allowing her to do that." I just could not hold back the giggles when she wailed, "I've looked all over myself for those buttons and I just can't find any!" Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!" ========================================
Thanks to TDianne for today's Bonus Link: 100 years of Hershey Kisses
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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