Dear Webby: Windows start-up sequence 

Good Morning,   !
Wednesday,  July 11, 2007

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
--- Franklin P. Jones

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of
--- Oscar Wilde


Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ."

He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning,
the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had
missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't
wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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A friend of mine was trying to figure out the best way to
break up with her boyfriend.  She seemed awfully concerned
that he not be angry.

"Are you afraid he'll spread lies about you?" I asked.

"I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth, I'll break
his neck," she answered.


Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
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=========================================== Hi Webby. Got this from my daughter-in-law in Tx. where they are having all the rain .We have been getting a lot of rain here too and if It keeps up , the ladies here may need them also ! Thought you may like it . jjs =========================================== After trying a new shampoo for the first time. A guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items. "Well, what do you think" his wife asked smiling. "Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to Mercedes! =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: A few people Re: Windows start-up sequence How can I re-arrange the start-up sequence for different programs in Windows to get to the mail faster? Dear Messing with the start-up sequence is more of a black art than a clear science. Windows doesn't really start things one at a time, but more like the "But first..." joke from a few days ago. And before all that, it loads parts of Internet Explorer to make magazine testers think MSIE loads faster thanFirefox or Oprera, when you open a browser. Then it starts loading stuff, but while it is waiting for the hard drive to deliver what it needs for that, it starts loading more stuff. Even though it appears as insane as a Chinese Fire Drill in Vancouver, it does actually finish loading everything in the shortest possible time. If you mess with it, it is probably going to take longer. However if you insist on messing with it, you can download Mike Lin's Start-Up Control Panel from You can probably get better results if you simply use the Tools in CrapCleaner and dump no longer fashionable utilities and stuff right out of the start-up sequence. You can also get to your mail faster if you reduce the restore period in MailWasher to the minimum. If you don't miss any mail in one day, you are probably not going to root through the spam restore bin a few days later. Also age off the blacklist in 2 days max. Spammers don't use the same forged name twice in a row anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 9, 2007 - Merritt Island, Florida - WFTV The sight of an unclaimed newspaper may have saved a Brevard County man's life. Tonya Brand was on her normal route on Merritt Island, when she noticed one of her customers, Jean Plante, had not retrieved his paper from the day before. She also heard water running in his apartment. Brand immediately called authorities. "I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't leave town with his water running and not stop his paper," Brand said. Plante was unconscious in his apartment and was rushed to Cape Canaveral Hospital. The next day, Brand made a special delivery and brought his paper to him at the hospital.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Cleaning the Microwave Fill a microwave safe bowl 3/4 of the way with water. Add a slice of lemon (or vinegar) to the water and then heat it until steaming in the microwave. Remove the hot bowl of water and wipe the microwave out with a damp sponge. Food splatters should wipe off easily.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she fills out a job application form. ============================================= When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought prmium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always." said the wife. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth." ============================================= FASHIONABLE BAUBLES I love parades. The kids, clowns, floats, marching bands, but most of all the horses decked out in their finery. It's especially fun to see the young county kids ride their horses, waving to the crowd, showing off just how hard it was to get that animal gleaming after hours of washing, brushing and braiding the mane and tails of their mount. At one parade, two little girls rode bareback. The huge black horse pranced right along. The only thing was, he tinkled. It sounded like wind chimes, crystal bells, a really pretty sound. As he passed by, onlookers doubled up, pointing their fingers at the horses behind. Apparently, some form of accident had resulted in the loss of most of the long tail hair that would have reached the ground in a lush waterfall. The girls did the best they could to get him parade dressed. They had woven wind chimes, tiny glass bells, silver Christmas tree garland, feathers that floated in the wind, plus some yellow plastic flowers into what was left of his tail. With every step, that horse produced music. It was to the horse's great credit that he totally ignored the hardware banging around his rump. Did it embarrass the girls? Nope! While people laughed, they happily waved the ribbon for first place, for the best looking horse in the parade! Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== NEW DEFINITIONS Seamstress \seem'-stres\: Describes 250 pounds in a size six. Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does. Subdued \sub-dood'\: Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man. Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: Bringing litigation against a government official. Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a bill. Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with. Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly inmate. ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Guitars
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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