Dear Webby: Camera for boat trip 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  July 13, 2007
Wear something red to show your support of the troops!

Friday the 13th!
Remember that it's bad luck to be superstitious!

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the
human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
--- Stephen Leacock

The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism
is alcoholism.
--- Norman Brenner


The happy couple were at Town Hall, applying for their marriage
license. After they filled out all the papers, the clerk said,
"This license is good for 30 days."

"No, you don't understand," replied the nervous bride-to-be.
"We want one that's for eternity."


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Thanks to Dianne for this story:
Wife: "I'm going to try something new this summer with the
dog and kids."

Husband: "What's that?"

Wife: "I'm sending the dog to camp and the kids to
obedience school."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Betty Perry, 70, Orem Utah Refusing to identify herself July 8, 2007 - Orem, Utah - Daily Herald A 70-year-old US woman has been left bruised and bloody after an unexpected clash with police who came to caution her for not watering her lawn. Trouble flared when Utah pensioner Betty Perry, 70, refused to give her name after being upbraided because her garden breached local regulations. She says the officer hit her with handcuffs, cutting her nose, although police insist she slipped and fell. Ms Perry said she was "distraught" after the incident. She denied accusations she was resisting arrest, maintaining that she only turned to go inside to call her son to fix the confusing dispute. "I tried to sit down and get away from him [the police officer]," she told Utah newspaper the Daily Herald. "I don't know what he's doing. I said: 'What are you doing?' And he hit me with those handcuffs in my face," she said. "He's just trying to cover his tracks, as far as I'm concerned." The officer had judged that Ms Perry's "sadly neglected and dying landscape" breached an Orem city guideline and was attempting to issue a formal caution when the 70-year-old was injured while resisting being arrested for refusing to identify herself. She was treated in a local hospital for the cut to her nose and for other bruises before being taken to jail. But she was let go when police realized there were "other ways" of finding out her identity without jailing her, a police spokesman said. The arresting officer has not been named but has been placed on administrative leave, he added. Ms Perry has been offered help by local church leaders to clean up her garden. ===========================================
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=========================================== Here are some pictures I took from my back yard. I would like to share them with you. It wasn't raining that day. I was out in the back yard working & my friend told me too look at the clouds. I ran to get my camera. Love your letter every morning. Joyce =========================================== A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Maria Re: Camera for boat trip Dear Webby What camera would you recommend for a long canoe trip? I don't really want to risk my big Canon, but want to be sure I get reasonably good pictures. Thanks Maria Dear Maria Just get a stack of regular disposable cameras, not the expensive underwater type or the flash type, just the cheap ones you see at gas stations and drug stores and supermarkets. They float, and immersion in water does not seem to bother them one bit. The only drawback I found with them is that they do tend to easily slip out of a shirt pocket and go for a dive whenever you lean over the side of the canoe to retrieve a beverage from the cooler net, or if you get a bit wild with the paddling in a rapid. It's not a real problem, you just wait after the rapids for the camera to catch up, and fish it out. They float a lot slower than a good canoe, so if you temporarily lose one, don't paddle like a maniac trying to catch up with it. It is behind you and will eventually catch up with you, if you simply wait for it. Cameras with a flash and batteries probably won't do so well in the water, but with the plain regular ones I have never had a problem. The pictures are more than good enough for scanning and using on the net. Try not to mix brands, though. They all use different color temperatures. Kodak has a yellow cast, Fuji a green and Agfa a blue cast. If a whole series of pictures has the same cast, the eye compensates for it, but if they are mixed, they look odd and amateurish, and you need to adjust the hue in a graphics program. Decide on one brand, and stick with it. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 12, 2007 - Decatur, Georgia - AP A bank robber was stopped when a former Marine knocked him down and held him until police arrived. Timothy Armstead was at a Washington Mutual Bank on Tuesday to find out how someone had stolen $100 from his account when a man wielding a fire extinguisher came in and demanded $2,000. The man told bank employees the fire extinguisher was a bomb and they had five minutes to give him $2,000 in $50 bills, DeKalb County police said. As employees went to the bank vault to comply, the unidentified man began loudly counting down the minutes, attracting the attention of Armstead, police spokesman Michael Payne said. When the robber tried walking out with the money, Armstead who was already irritated about the money missing from his account put his daughter down and knocked the man to the ground. The man yielded without a fight. And while they waited for police to arrive, Armstead said he lectured the man on his poor decision. ''I just told him it was a very stupid decision and now you get to spend 20 years of your life just for taking some money,'' Armstead told Atlanta station WSB-TV. ... robber.htm
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Soap As a Lubricant A normal bar of soap can work well as a lubricant when applied to metal. Use soap on screws before you screw them into hardwood. You can also use soap to speed up a stubborn zipper or a handsaw blade. It also will speed up the runners on windows, sliding doors and drawers.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Thanks to Liz for this story: A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ============================================= SUMMER DAYS FOR YAMMER Not again! Ann found her flower beds dug up. Planters were knocked over. Bulbs that were to produce beautiful flowers, gone. Dirt was spread over the entire patio. This was the fourth time her expensive bulbs had been taken. She blamed the sleepy old dog. "I'm gonna skin that mutt," she fumed. She yelled for "Yammer," to come here. The lazy dog was resting in a cool hollow he had dug in the dirt under the patio. He sat in front of her, listened while she told him over and over that he was not allowed to dig in her flowers. He yawned. Ann's husband arrived home late, slightly tipsy, singing, 'Jingle Bells.' He tripped, coming face to face with several pretty kitties, playing in Ann's flower pots. "Hey Ann," he yelled, "Come down here. There's a mess of cats in your flowers." Ann went flying downstairs. She took one look and burst out laughing. Her husband said, "Old Yammer is off the hook now, it's those darn cats." She told him to get a good look at the cats. He leaned closer. Funny looking cats. They all had masks. Ann grinned, "They're racoons, I love racoons." Yammer flopped onto the patio beside Anne. She petted him. "And to think all this time I blamed you Yammer, mom's so sorry." In the cool of the night, old Yammer used his nose to hide his latest batch of stolen bulbs. He liked racoons too, they dug the bulbs for him. Summer was so boring Burying all those bulbs was fun. Tomorrow night they'd hit the neighbors. Stormy O' =============================================
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======================================== Thanks to Irene for this story: For our 20th anniversary my husband and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for me and one handsome young man. As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, he swam. I snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Wabash Railroad
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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