Dear Webby: What to do with too old computers 

Good Morning,   !
Wednesday,  July 18, 2007

It is better to sleep on things beforehand
than to lie awake about them afterward.
--- Baltasar Gracian


Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.

Doctor: You should cut down on drinks.

Patient: I don't touch a drop.

Doctor: You should cut down on smoking.

Patient: I don't smoke.

Doctor: You should stop taking drugs.

Patient: I don't do drugs.

Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.

Patient: Haven't touched a woman in my life.

Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke,
and find a couple of girlfriends.


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At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor,
was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the
other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the
word "KISS" scribbled on it.

A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has sent
you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you
very much."

The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters
stand for "Keep it short, Stupid."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a bus driver in Lindau, Germany Too sensitive for being a bus driver July 17, 2007 - Germany - The Scotsman A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy. The woman, named only as Debora C, told Bild newspaper: "Suddenly he stopped the bus. He opened the door and shouted at me, 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus'." The woman said she moved to another seat, but was left humiliated. The bus company defended the driver. "The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing," a spokesman said. "A driver cannot be distracted, because it's a danger to the safety of all the passengers." ... 1110922007 ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks to Dianne for this picture: View from Darjeeling =========================================== Thanks to Cookie for this story: One night, after a couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He then ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side then the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. "Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered breathlessly. He whispered back, "I found the remote." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Scott Re: Too Old Computers Dear Webby Our club gets, among other things, old computers donated to us, so that we can try to convert them into cash for charitable purposes. However, quite a few are so old, that we can't do anything with them and just wind up paying disposal fees. Do you have any ideas? Thanks Scott Dear Scott Hold a Computer Smashathon. Provide safety goggles and a sledge hammer and charge a dollar per hit. You'll be surprised how much money you will raise! When they are all smashed to bits, glue them together into a big abstract sculpture, take good pictures of it and sell it on eBay. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos 7/17/2007 - Gimundo Drinking and cigarette smoking often go hand-in-hand, as anyone who’s ever frequented a bar will attest. Now it turns out a drug that helps smokers quit smoking may also kill the urge for alcohol as well. The drug, called varenicline, works by targeting a pleasure center in the brain that makes smoking enjoyable. New research suggests the same spot in the brain is affected by alcohol. Scientists said the drug could be used to treat other kinds of addictions, such as gambling. ... ts_at_Once!
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Bringing a Thermos To Work You can save money by bringing coffee to work in a thermos rather than buying it there. Before filling your thermos with coffee, fill it up with hot tap water and let it sit for a few minutes. This will help warm up the thermos before adding the coffee and it will stay hot longer.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what... ....we didn't see a single bastard or moron!" ============================================= JINGLE'S PALATE As a young bride, I wanted to make my new husband something special. I gathered all the materials for sugar cookies. My mother had made them for years, the melt in your mouth kind. I was positive I could do the same. My dog Jingles, always on the prowl for dropped crumbs from the table kept me company. Something wasn't right. What should have been a nice soft ball of cookie dough, was a dry hard lump. I didn't have a rolling pin, so used a shoe in a plastic bag, to wack the ball into a flat shape. Jingles usually ate anything that hit the floor. It was odd, he was ignoring all the pieces that drifted down. I finally got the cookies into the oven. They looked fine, just didn't brown. I offered a warm one to Jingles. He took it very politely, went out to the yard, dug a deep hole and buried it. Okay, he was saving it for later. I tried one, and darn near broke my teeth. I noticed Jingles had dug his up. Some crows were banging away at the cookie with their beaks. It wouldn't break. I took at look at the ingredients I had used. No wonder the dog wouldn't touch them. Instead of flour I had used a container of drywall compound, that when water is added, is used to repair holes in walls. I dug a hole to bury the rest. Months later, Jingles dug them up, well preserved. He placed one in front of my new husband. "Very strange," he said, "I've never seen white hockey pucks before." Even today, if I bake something new, I'll offer a bite to the dog. I trust his judgement. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in The Flood." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Tall Ships Festival
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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