Dear Webby: McAfee malfunction 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  July 23, 2007

Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
--- Rudyard Kipling

Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
--- T. S. Eliot


Re the voting:
Thanks to all who wrote me!
I emailed the Ezinefinder about it in the morning, but have
not heard back from them. They are totally independent and
not hosted by us. Hopefully they will have their problem
fixed soon.


Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing  It's the only type of
cooking some men will do:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain
of events is put into motion.

    (1) The woman goes to the store.
    (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a
        tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and
        takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill,
        drinking beer.
    (4) The man places the meat on the grill.
    (5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the
    (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is
    (7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the
    (8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the
    (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the
    (10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's
just no pleasing some women.


At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk
that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee
to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes five.
"I'd like to know why," she scoffed.

The clerk thought a moment and then suggested,
"I guess the ponies must be getting old."


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


The young woman looked up from her hospital bed
at the handsome doctor and said breathlessly,
"They tell me, doctor, that you're a real lady killer."

The doctor smiled, "Maybe so.. But the jury threw
the case out of court due to lack of evidence"


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an armed robber in Fort Smith, Arkansas Library Robber July 19, 2007 - Fort Smith, Arkansas - AP A Fort Smith library branch was robbed of its fine money Thursday by a woman who implied she had a weapon, police said. "We're kind of dumbfounded," Fort Smith police Officer Vincent Clamser said. The robber, a tall, light-skinned woman who covered her face and head with bandanas, walked into the library's Windsor branch and handed the librarian a note, Clamser said. "She implied she had a weapon and that (the librarian) had one minute to comply," Clamser said. The librarian handed over what amounted to petty cash - some bills and change from the till used for fines for overdue books. Clamser said the amount taken was less than $20 dollars. "We're kind of wondering, why would anybody do this?," Clamser said. The robber faces a felony robbery charge, which may be upgraded to aggravated robbery, Clamser said. Any chance she might get off with just a fine? "No," Clamser said. If the woman is caught, how the case is pursued will be up to prosecutors, he said. Fort Smith has been the site of some unusual crimes of late, including the thefts of safes from three restaurants and a bank. Last week, a man who robbed a sandwich shop proved easy to catch when he made a quick change of clothes in front of a surveillance camera. In May, a man wanted for bank robbery was caught after Fort Smith police posted a MySpace page with a detailed description of him. ... 1399c.html ===========================================
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=========================================== =========================================== Fellow was trying to hit on a Blackjack dealer in Las Vegas without success. Finally in desperation he said, "Look. I'll give ya a hundred to sleep with me tonight." "You ain't gonna get no where being so crude either buddy." the girl said. "Tell ya what. Try betting me 100 dollars at 2:1 that I won't put out for ya." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brenda Re: McAfee malfunction brenda rose wrote: I received this message from McAfee virus scan. They said I should notify you. Hopefully this type of activity can stop. ALERT ! If you received a phony postcard pick-up notice, claiming to be from a family member, or other vague source, then that is just an illegal spoof and NOT from us. Just like Ebay and PayPal, we too suffer from forgers. SELLS postcard software, but does NOT send postcards. Do not click on anything in the spoof. Just dump it. The real postcards are sent from legitimate card sites that use our software. ( provides the software, but does not compete with clients) Postcards sent with our software ALWAYS show the name and address of the sender MyPostcards type postcards never ask you to download any files, especially not a virus filled exe file. MyPostcards style postys are on the web and are viewed like any safe web page. Those spoofs are nothing new. The only thing new about these spoofs is that the computer of one of your friends has gotten infected, and that a virus sent itself to all the addresses in your friend's address book. You can send the spoof to the Spamcops at They will analyze it and show you where it really came from. McAfee VirusScan E-mail Scan has detected a potential threat in this e-mail sent by "" with the subject You've received an ecard from a Family member!. This e-mail has been quarantined. We strongly recommend that you report this suspect activity. to "" Brenda Dear Brenda McAfee made a mistake by assuming that you had a clue and knew which part of a forged email was related to the sender. If you sent a mail forged to look like "Elvis Presley" - brose* - or "Hillary Clinton" - brose* - or "" - - then it would be kinda stupid to complain to Elvis or Hillary or Mypostcards, right? Well, the silly goofs at McAfee mistakenly assumed you were bright enough to understand that, and would not bother Elvis or Hillary or You sure fooled THEM, eh ? Don't feel bad. We got thousands of mails similar to yours from of Outlook Express users, who don't seem to be able to see the actual address under the forged title part of an address. You SHOULD tell McAfee about their mistake and that their program is not compatible with Outlook Express users! All it does is make you look silly. If you want to learn about spoofs, browse to There is an easy to read tutorial there. Have FUN! DearWebby PS. Elvis is not accepting email at this time. ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 20, 2007 - Deltona, Florida - Gimundo Dale Tanguilig was upset. His best friend, David Black, was in the hospital again. He told his mother, Denise, that David, who suffers from a chronic kidney disorder called nephritic syndrome, needed a transplant. The donor needs to have the blood type O positive, Dale told his mother. Denise thought, “I’m O positive.” Denise approached David’s mother, Bonnie, during a school band practice. “Where do I get tested?” she asked. Bonnie started to cry. After weeks of testing, Denise was found to be a match. Her family was concerned, but, she said, “I’ve always wanted to do something like this.” So on Monday morning, Denise will give her kidney to David at Tampa General Hospital. ... iend?s_Mom
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Friends and Family Mailing Lists Consider setting up an email discussion list to help stay in touch with friends and family. It can be a great way to post announcements with family members all over the world.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A Scotsman was dying. On his deathbed, he looked up and said: "Is my wife here?" His wife replies: "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you.." The Scot goes: "Are my children here?" "Yes, daddy, we are all here." say the children. The Scot: "Are my other relatives also here?" And they say: "Yes, we are all here..." The Scot gets up and says: "Then why is the light on in the kitchen?" ============================================= WIFE SAYS, ONE NEEDS COMPANY Bruce watched his Golden Retriever, Fred rub one side of his face on the ground. "I'm sort of worried," he said to his elderly wife Lisa. She looked at the dog closely. "You know, he's worn all the fur off that side of his face, we should take him to the vet, maybe Fred has a bad tooth." At the veterinarian's office, Fred continued to smear his face on the floor, the chairs, even on the legs of other people waiting to see the vet. Finally, his turn came. "He's in great shape, I'll just take a look in his mouth," the vet said. After a moment, he told the couple, "I can see something sparkle, he definitely has something hung up on a tooth." Fred let out a tiny whimper of pain, when the vet pulled out a small gold band, with a diamond. "This looks like an engagement ring," the doctor exclaimed. "Oh my gosh, that's my engagement ring." Lisa cried. "I lost it in the garden 30 years ago. We dug up every inch of the yard trying to find it." She looked at her husband who was holding his sides laughing. "What's so funny," she demanded. "Oh not much," Bruce said. "It's just that I bought you another ring for our 30th wedding anniversary. I guess you won't need it now." he continued, "I can spend the money on a new skill saw." Lisa took the old ring, put it on her finger, then told her husband. "Looks a bit lonely, the new one will even things out just right." The vet cracked up. "I'm a newlywed, I already know never to mess with women and diamonds."He looked at a very unhappy Bruce, "No skill saw for you, your wife really won this round." Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his corn flakes every morning. The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Super Dogs
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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