Dear Webby: Dubious eBay mails 

Good Morning,   !
Wednesday,  July 25, 2007

Focus on the journey, not the destination.
Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.
--- Greg Anderson

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life.
Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
--- Cullen Hightower


A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials
put up a ten-foot fence.  However, the next morning the
kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty
feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was
again roaming around the zoo.

This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty
feet high.

Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "Probably a hundred feet, unless
somebody starts locking the gate at night."


A man was talking to his neighbor and complained,
"Ever since my wife started working at her new job, she
has really let the housework go.  In fact, our home has
turned into a wherehouse."

His neighbor inquired, "What do you mean, a warehouse?"

The man said, "I mean, where's this, where's that?"


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The only people who listen to both sides of an argument
are the neighbors.


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a woman in Wuppertal, germany Too much imagination July 20, 2007 - Wuppertal, Germany - Ananova Armed police surrounded a car in Germany after reports of a masked criminal - but instead found a large stuffed toy. The woman who made the call to police was returning to her car in an indoor car park late at night in the city of Wuppertal. She saw the suspected criminal through the window of a parked van, reports Sky News. Though she later admitted to only catching a glimpse in the darkness, she was sufficiently alarmed to alert the authorities. Armed officers arrived in three cars and surrounded the van. What they found was a large toy beaver, strapped into the passenger seat. A police spokesman said he struggled to see how the toy, which has two oversized front teeth, could have been mistaken for a person. ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Pumpelly Pillar and Middle Two Medicine Lake, Glacier National Park (Montana) Greg =========================================== "No need for me to come out to the house," the doctor told the worried caller. "I've checked my files and your uncle isn't really ill at all - he just thinks he's sick." A week later, the doctor telephoned to make sure his diagnosis had been correct. "How's your uncle today?" he asked. "Worse," came the reply. "Now he thinks he's dead." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elaine Re: Mail from eBay Dear Webby I don't have an account with eBay, but lately I got all kinds of mail from them about having to pay for stuff that I supposedly won in an auction or having to confirm my account. Is somebody using my email address and wrecking my credit rating? Elaine Dear Elaine Nah, those are just spoofs, just like the phony postcard pick-up notices from vague, unidentified class mates, family members, worshippers, etc. You can paste those spoofs to Spamcop at and find out where they really came from. You can also forward them to, and they will report them to Spamcop. Don't click on anything in those spoofs. With real mail from ebay there is nothing to click on. They just tell you to close all browser windows, open a fresh one and TYPE in the URL of their site. It would be a smart idea to get a free trial of MailWasher. MailWasher shows you what the URLs actually link to. If the Visible part says "eBay-login.html" and Mailwasher puts beside that in gray: "(links to" then you KNOW it's phony. Even if you don't keep MailWasher beyond the free trial, the education you get from being able to peek at naked mail headers, without even downloading more than the header, is extremely valuable. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 24, 2007 - New York - AP Iraq war veteran Sgt. Juan Arredondo can grasp tennis balls and door knobs with his left hand again, now that he's been outfitted with a bionic hand that has flexible fingers. The 27-year-old former soldier, who lost his left hand in 2005 during a patrol, is one of the first recipients of the i-LIMB. ''To have this movement, it's it's amazing,'' Arredondo said Monday as he showed off the limb made by Scotland based Touch Bionics. ''It just gets me more excited about now, about the future.'' The prosthetic hand is made of semi-translucent plastics. Five individual motors power the fingers, allowing the person to grasp round objects. The hand's gestures are made possible through electrode plates that detect electrical signals generated in the remaining muscles in the amputated limb. Arredondo, of San Antonio, likened the limb to the bionics in ''Star Wars'' and ''Terminator.'' ''My son, he goes nuts about it,'' he said. ... c-hand.htm
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Saving Money on Long Distance Buy bulk minutes and cancel your long distance. You can find low per minutes rates with no monthly charges online. There usually is a number you have to call to initiate a call but you can program that into your phone. hey! This is the Internet Age! Everyone reading this, has access to a computer. Download Skype, and call all other Skype users free! You can call landline and cell phone numbers for a penny a minute anywhere in the world. Just get a $10 head set and talk hands free. Unless you do your long distance calling from the outhouse, download Skype! It's free! And if you DO make your long distance calls from the outhouse, get the other side to call you with Skype on their computer. Calling land lines or cell phones is a penny a minute or 60 cents per HOUR! There is no contract. If you call land lines or cells, you simply buy $10 worth (1000 minutes) via PayPal or credit card, and use up your 1000 minutes at whatever pace you choose. We have used Skype for tech support for many years and are quite happy with it. Voice clarity is much better than any regular phone. Have FUN! Dear Webby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Good Lord, why on earth did I invite all these ungrateful bums to dinner?" ============================================= ONE MORE TIME FOR PEGGY Peggy was starting to show her age. Her dark brown eyes had a clouded look. Her fur wasn't a thick as it used to be. She walked so slowly, favouring one hip, plus her hearing wasn't as sharp as in by gone days. She was 15 now. Old for a dog. Her family had adopted her from a dog pound, when she was a wild little pup. Just a mixed breed dog, that her family loved dearly. Every year, without fail Peggy would start to perk up. It was around the time the town put on their summer parade. Peggy had always pulled a small wagon with children in it. Every year it became harder for her to walk, let alone pull a wagon. The family decided it was time to quit. The day of the parade arrived. Peggy took her place in front of the old wagon, tail wagging, eager for her brood of kids to pull. Her owners, with tears in their eyes, told her no, not this year. Dogs are capable of great emotion. Peggy was puzzled and obviously devastated. Until the twin boys, aged 6 said, "I know, put Peggy in the wagon and we'll pull her." Peggy sat on a cushion, they took their place in the parade and started out. It was a small town, everyone knew the sweet old dog. They clapped, calling out her name. The twin boys giggled and pulled the wagon with the precious cargo aboard. Peggy sat up straight, her ears up, looking happily at the crowd. When the ribbons were given out for best in the parade, Peggy was awarded a hastily put together, necklace of doggy cookies. She barked, offered her paw to be shaken by the judges. She may have been the oldest in the parade, but she was definitely the Queen for the day. It was a day to rejoice, Peggy made it to the parade, one more time. Stormy O' =============================================
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======================================== A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh prawns, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window. After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch.". "Listen love." He replied, "It's got nothing to do with you, I've paid my fare for this journey and I'll do what I damn well want on this train." He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating the prawns. Finally he finished the bag and settled back for a little sleep. The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear while he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles. After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, "Could you stop that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?" "It's got nothing to do with you," replies the old woman, "I've paid my fare and I'll do what I want on this train." At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and threw it out of the window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord. The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha, you'll get fined 200 for that!" To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years when the police smell your fingers...." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Water Melons
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly from then on. If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them for you. To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY. or write to If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at You can also UNsubscribe there. If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by clicking the link below: You are currently subscribed with this address: Unsubscribe from the regular HTML version: UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular version Unsubscribe from the LARGE FONT HTML version UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version Unsubscribe from the plain text version: UNSUBSCRIBE from the Text version Give a free gift subscription to a friend!

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