Dear Webby: Mail with no subject 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  July 29, 2007
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To find yourself, think for yourself.
-- Socrates

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JOB SEEKERS FROM THE PAST

Julius Caesar:
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back
stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.

Jesse James:
I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership,
extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate
understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of sescurity
measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticzed, but I'd like to
think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostsile takeover.

Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the
department, our competition just seemed to drop out
of sight one by one.

Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering
new things.

Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I
downsized my staff, my organization, and the
populations of several countries.

Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind
of guy who would knock of his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva:
What do you mean this isn't business casual?

Elvis:
My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?

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A bright young Scottish lad named Shamus had the opportunity
to go to university in London. So he packed his bags and
said good-bye to his mother and left the highlands for the
big city.

After the first week his mother called to see how her boy
was holding up.

"I love it here Mother," Shamus told her, "but these English
students are the oddest people ever! Why the boy who lives
in the dormitory room next to me bangs his head against the
wall until midnight every night. And the boy in the room
above me stomps around until midnight every night. And the
boy right below me blasts his stereo until midnight every
night."

"Why don't you complain to the Dean of students?" asks his
mother.

"Well, it doesn't bother me much," answers Shamus. "I'm
usually up until that time quietly practicing my bagpipes
anyway."

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,
"Mom, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make
babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i'
and add 'es'."

===========================================

Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vitalie Varinca, 38, Hughnchesht, Moldovia Sleazy July 25, 2007 - Republic of Muldova - Ananova A Moldovan who claimed his wife had died and borrowed cash to pay for her funeral was exposed when pals went to see how he was coping - and she opened the door. Vitalie Varinca, 38, raised 3,000 in a whip round from workmates at the factory where he was a foreman in the town of Hughnchesht. He told them his beautiful young wife had been tragically killed in a car accident while pregnant. But he was arrested and charged with obtaining money by deception after worried friends dropped by to see how he was coping and his wife opened the door. A police spokesman said: "They were very surprised to see a supposedly dead woman walking around the house fit and healthy. But not nearly as the surprised as the husband when he saw them." http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2432228.html?menu= ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks to Martin for passing on this trail report from his son Greg: More rock and patient water. Previous photos were all near Middle Two Medicine Lake. The next two or so are from this little trail (may also be called Sun Rift Gorge) which is easily accessible from the easterly part of Going-to-the Sun Road (the main road running east-west through the park). The water and rock make cuts and gurgles and falls in infinite variety along a modest stretch of easy trail. =========================================== A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $51 change. =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frieda Re: Empty subject mails Dear Webby What's the story with mails that arrive without a subject line? Years ago you showed me how to make a filter to dump them with Mailwasher, and that works fine on my work machine, but I am wondering if I also need that on my home machine. So far I just dumped those mails manually. Frieda Dear Frieda "No Subject=No Intelligence" still holds true. You'll never see anything intelligent in an email that arrives without a subject, and you can use that filter as an IQ filter. If the senders don't have a positive IQ number, their mail won't waste your time. About the only exception I am aware of is the malfunction in one of the Hotmail servers. When a subscriber, who had been registered there, leaves hotmail, that server sends a bounce without a subject and without a FROM. I'm sure it's not deliberate, but just an old mistake, that they can't fix. The other hotmail server sends bounces with proper FROM and subject line. So, if you are not interested in bounce messages from hotmail, it's quite safe to trash any mail that does not have a subject. That gets rid of about 8% of the spam right off the top. For those who want to know how to make that IQ filter, select "does not contain RegExpr" and put \w into the value field. The \w is a wildcard and stands for "any word character". That filter is kinda sneaky. If the subject line has only Chinese, Korean or Arab characters, then that mail gets marked for dumping too, since I won't read it anyway. Don't you pity the poor folks who don't have Mailwasher yet? Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos Gives a whole new meaning to getting hammered ;-) July 25, 2007 - Gloucester, Massachusetts - IBS A would-be crook chose the wrong convenience store clerk to rob in Gloucester, Mass., Tuesday. The entire showdown was caught on surveillance video that Gloucester authorities said was some of the best they've ever seen. Just as the clerk was opening the register, the robber came in, threw the lottery machine to the ground and lunged at the clerk. But the clerk was ready for him, armed with a hammer. As the clerk managed to get the robber into a head lock, a customer jumped in and also took a few swipes with the hammer. The clerk's co-worker said the clerk was just acting in self defense. Police said they arrested the robbery suspect, Ricky Marshall, 27, after a dog that he brought to the scene led police to his front door. Marshall is being held on $10,000 bail. http://www.wftv.com/news/13751159/detail.html
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 7empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Tea You can save money on tea by using the same tea bag twice. Just set the tea bag aside and use it for your next cup. It cuts the cost of your tea drinking habit in half.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'" --- Elayne Boosler ============================================= DOGGIE GOES A SWIMMING CATCH OF THE DAY Ted loaded up his two sons, plus Trixie their Shih Tzu to head out for a day of fishing. The fishing spot was a popular one, with more emphasis on having fun than actually catching a fish. The boys lost interest and left their dad and Trixie at the edge of the river. Trixie was a happy dog who's favourite game was chasing butterflies. She would try to creep up on one, snap at it, however she had yet to catch one. At the end of the day, no one had caught a fish.The men were packing up, calling the kids, swapping fish stories about the huge one that got away. Someone told Ted, "Look at that dog of yours." Trixie was standing on the edge of a rock, on the river bank. A butterfly was almost within her reach. She opened her mouth, and lunged. Right into the river. Before Ted could move, her head bobbed up to the surface. She scrambled up the bank, but she looked odd. Her face was out of shape. Ted realized that Trixie had a small fish in her mouth. She was a bit puzzled, but intended to keep her prize. People gathered around, petting her, also trying to get the fish out of her mouth. No way. She backed warily away, until a butterfly floated past. The fish forgotten, she let it drop where it slid right down the bank into the water. Ted had to grin, it was only a tiny fish, but at least it was member of his family that had the catch of the day. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== George, a rather arrogant acquaintance, and were seated side by side on a train. An announcement was made that all electrical power would be out for a few minutes due to a blown circuit. Seated across from George and were two very attractive ladies. Just then the train entered a dark tunnel. A loud smack was heard. As the train left the tunnel, a large red hand print could be seen on George's face. Nothing was said by anyone. The train entered another dark tunnel and another loud smack was heard. As the train left the tunnel, another large red hand print could be seen on the other side of George's face. Again, nothing at all was said. George was thinking.... must have done something to those ladies and they thought it was me because of my reputation. But was thinking....I wish we would go through another tunnel so I could slap that idiot again!!! ------------------------- If you put nothing, or a full name like Ms Ernestine F Trailer-Hooker III into the FIRST NAME slot of the sign-up, that joke will fall flat. It's nearly as bad if you got a gift subscription from a neighbor, who typed your first name or nickname in all small or all large letters because she had a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand and a donut in the other. If that is the case with your first name or nickname, hit REPLY and tell me, and I will instantly correct it. DearWebby ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Indoor Plants
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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