Dear Webby: Spoof Epidmic 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  July 31, 2007
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BE the change you want to see in the world.
--- Mahatma Gandhi

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Thanks to Sandie for this one:

Definition of an Irish husband:
He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he
will kill any man who does.

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Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to
control a wife?
A. A bachelor.

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!

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A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses
for his wife.  As the clerk was putting on the finishing
touches on bouquet, another man burst through the door,
breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses. "I'm sorry," the
clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch."

The desperate customer turned to the other man and begged,
"May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" the first man asked. "Did you forget your
wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," the second man confided.
"I crashed my wife's hard drive."

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a lawyer in Peking, China Nitpicker July 27, 2007 - Beijing, China - AP A lawyer reportedly has sued McDonald's in China after he was given receipts that were printed mostly in English. The state-run newspaper Beijing Youth Daily said the lawyer claims the use of English instead of Chinese "violates the consumers' right to know." Youth Daily said the lawyer wants an apology and compensation of about 13 cents. It did not give details on any court case. A McDonald's official is quoted as saying its receipts were changed earlier this month, and that all its menus and ads are now in Chinese. http://www.wftv.com/foodnews/13769617/detail.html What's really funny is that there are more English speakers in China than in the US. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Walter, the stone carver for this picture: =========================================== A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two genies appear and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the door and standing there are the two genies. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he is dead. As the genies walk off, one genie says to the other one "Hey, I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But to be hung is beyond me!" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Paul Re: Typical tech support request Paul Prae wrote: Please stop this stuff, you people drive me crazy. I hate advertising. I really hate forced advertising and I think the greatest assholes on the planet are the ones who shove it down my throat. Any company that uses SPAM will never have my business. If I get an email that I did not want from a company I will never use that company no matter what the product. I will never have anything to do with your company and I will make sure no one else does if I continue to receive any more crap in my mail. I suggest you let your partners know as well. "mypostcards.com" wrote: Hi. School mate has sent you an ecard. See your card as often as you wish during the next 15 days. SEEING YOUR CARD If your email software creates links to Web pages, click on your card's direct www address below while you are connected to the Internet: http://75.179.62.230/?b848ca9a885b5e6291c3de8293ec696 Hi Paul You are barking up at the wrong tree. I know, jumping to confusions is fashionable with yahoos, but it's not doing you any good at all. What you got there is a spoof, a forgery. It had been sent to you by the W32/Zhelatin.gen!eml virus in the computer of one of YOUR friends, who has your address in his or her Outlook Express address book. Now, do you really expect me to hunt down all your friends and relatives and blow up their computers, just to make sure your gramma's and your girlfriend's computers won't send any more spoofs to you? Even though I can't do anything about your girlfriend's computer sending spoofs to you, I can tell you how to recognize them. You see that IP number? 75.179.62.230 That belongs to RoadRunner, an ISP. They got all numbers from 75.176.0.0 - 75.191.255.255 That shows you that the spoof had been sent from a home computer, and not from a corporate server. Now, if you look at the header of that mail, you will see "Outlook" or "Outlook Exprpess". Obviously no legitimate company will use amateur software like that for their mails. If you want to play detective, ask RoadRunner who was using 75.179.62.230 at the time that spoof was sent. If they play stupid, you can get the cops to force them to fork over the name and address of the sender. Pretending to be MyPostcards while trying to deliver a Russian virus is against the law, ya know. That number is where they wanted you to download the virus from. The ID of the sender is also shown in the header. If you can't figger out the header, post the email, with headers exposed, to http://spamcop.net. To reduce the number of frivolous complaints against phone and utility companies, you have to register before you can post. Once you paste the header there, they will analyze it and show you exactly where that spoof came from, and give you a single click option to complain to the ISP of the sender. Don't worry, they protect your address and vouch for the legitimacy of the complaint. So, you see, it's not Big Brother or a legitimate company harassing a poor, innocent yahoo, but some bimbo or bozo being too naive to run proper virus protection. By the way, Mypostcards does not send postcards. They just sell postcard software. AND, with real postcards the sender is properly identified, never a vague unidentified "friend", "classmate", "worshipper", etc. McAfee has a detailed description of that virus since July 4 at http://vil.nai.com/vil/content/v_142621.htm If you want to learn more about how to recognize spoofs, read the tutorial at http://webby.com/info/recognize-a-spoof.html Now that you know more about spoofs than 99.99% of all yahoos, hopefully you will educate at least some of them! Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos July 2007 - Phoenix, Arizona - Gimundo Mike Feeney counts on no one else to do his job, and he does it totally blind. "When you lose your sight, you have no choice," Mike Feeney says. Type 1 Diabetes didn't stop him from working the register at lunch at Desert Schools Credit Union. "If I put a $20 in (the change bag), I'll just keep my $20's folded long ways, if I put a five in, it's folded in a triangle," Feeney says. Mike has found innovative ways in order to live with his disability. "I've got a talking computer, I've got a talking calculator, my register is a voice synthesizer," Feeney says. By lunchtime, he's got everything ready to go, and he depends on employees like Will Robinson. "I am somewhat his sidekick 'righthand man,' sometimes left, we work good together," Robinson says, "half the people don't even know he's blind, they just think he has sunglasses, some people do wear sunglasses inside." Fortunately he hasn't lost what he loves the most. The gift of gab. "I love to talk, absolutely," Before Mike lost his sight, he used to design irrigation systems for golf courses. http://www.azcentral.com/12news/upfront ... 07-CR.html
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 7empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Carpet If you are having a small area carpeted, like a bedroom, ask the carpet retailer if they have any remnants available for a discounted price. They usually have remnants of brand new carpet leftover from bigger jobs.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that the sign was gone and someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she said she did not authorize your sign." ============================================= PAW PRINT SECURITY "Get that blasted dog off the cement." Oh boy, I knew Bambi, a Japanese Chin, and his owner, Nancy, a seven year old were in trouble. Her parents had made a sidewalk leading up to their house from the street. The cement had been poured. Nancy had been told to stop Bambi from leaving paw prints in the drying cement. "Nancy, what have you done?" I walked over to my neighbors yard. Bambi had pranced in the wet cement. Nancy had taken a stick and made each tiny paw print huge. It looked as if an oversized St. Bernard had taken a stroll down the walk. Those tracks were there to stay. Our street had been plagued with robberies. On an extremely hot night I sat outside on the lawn, hidden by the branches of a spruce tree. I heard footsteps and whispers. I realized it was two men intent on robbing my neighbors open garage. "Wait a second," I heard one of them say. " I'm not going up to that house." The other man sounded exasperated, "Why not, there's a lot of stuff we can get, easy pickings." "Ya, but man, look at the size of those dog tracks, they have a dog that would rip us to shreds." "Holy, crap, you're right! Move it, that dog could be loose in the garage." Bambi's enlarged paw prints had scared away the burglars. Sometimes people will glance uneasily at the humongous prints. I still smile when I think that a tiny Japanese Chin, plus an inventive little girl provided a new form of security. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner." ========================================
Thanks to Dani for today's Bonus Link: History in pictures
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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