Dear Webby: Replacement for Ad-Aware 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  Aug 9, 2007

Delegating work works,
provided the one delegating works, too.
--- Robert Half


At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her
idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain.
And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up,
"Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!"


The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests
is to annoy people who are not in them.


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's
department store. Shyly, he walked up to the woman
behind the counter and said, "Yeah... Um... I'da...
I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquired the man. "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she brought his
attention to a sea of bras in every shape, size color and
material imaginable.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really
only four types of bras," informed the sales clerk.

Confused, the man asked what she meant.

The saleslady said, "As I said, 4 types: The Catholic type,
the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the
Baptist type.
Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked,
"What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded plainly, "It is all really quite simple.
The Catholic type supports the masses,
the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen,
the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright,
and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Thomas Pilaar, 33, of Denver, Colorado Book thief booked August 5, 2007 - Denver, Colorado - AP A library patron suspected of selling hundreds of books, tapes and DVDs he had borrowed has cost Denver-area libraries tens of thousands of dollars, officials said. Thomas Pilaar, 33, was suspected of using different names to obtain seven library cards from the Denver Public Library, then checking out 300 items per card and selling at least some of the items, KCNC-TV in Denver reported. "It appears his intent was to sell 2,100 (items) from the Denver Library collection," Denver Public Library spokeswoman M. Celeste Jackson told the station. She estimated the losses at about $35,000. Arapahoe County library administrators said Pilaar obtained three library cards and checked out 250 to 300 items. James Larue, Douglas County's head librarian, said Pilaar checked out more than 300 items from two county libraries and had $11,000 worth of overdue items. Authorities were tipped by a woman who recently bought books through and noticed the library identification stamps. Pilaar was jailed on an unrelated parole violation and was being investigated for theft, said Lynn Kimbrough, spokeswoman for the Denver prosecutor's office. He was being held without bond. ... NOLO0.html ===========================================
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=========================================== =========================================== Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lisa Re: Ad-Aware Hi Dear Webby: I am using Ad-Aware SE personal. They notified me they won't be doing updates or giving help after December 0f 07. Any reccomendation to switch to after Dec. ? Thanks, Lisa Dear Lisa I have been doing quite fine without that program and don't see any need for it. Just use Spybot-Search&Destroy. It will take care of any of any nasty advertising Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos August 6, 2007 - Devon, Pennsylvania - Gimundo When Molly Houlahan, 15, and her 13-year old sister Carly, of Devon, Pa., lost their grandfather to throat cancer several years ago, they were so shaken by his death that they decided to take action against the horrible disease that had killed him — by raising bees. Since childhood, Molly and Carly had been interested in beekeeping — their other grandparents have several hives in their backyard. So in 2004, the two girls decided to start keeping their own beehives and selling the honey, donating 100 percent of their profits to the American Cancer Society to support cancer research and treatment. They christened their unique organization “Hives for Lives.” The sisters started small, selling jars of honey in their school and around the neighborhood. But these days, business is buzzing at Hives for Lives: in just three years of selling honey and related products like lip balms and lotions, they’ve raised more than $22,000 in donations to the American Cancer Society. Want to aid their cancer-curing mission? Buy a jar or two of the Houlahan sisters’ honey from their Web site,
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Saving Money on Meat Make multiple meals with the same cut of meat. For example, if you buy ham or roast, plan on making a large pot of soup with the leftovers. Whole chickens can be less expensive than chicken pieces and the bones can be used for soup stock.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied. ============================================= PRICKLY SITUATION It was the third day of a dog trial show. The dog handlers were getting their dogs ready to go through their paces in the ring. On the sidelines, excited dogs barked, waiting anxiously for their turn. To them, it was all just great fun. No dog was a loser, no matter how they "placed" each owner or handler lavished great praise on the dogs for the effort and enthusiasm they put into the day. That's way it was such a puzzle, when a Border Collie who had been winning every day, dashed into a tunnel, but backed out just as fast. He was the first dog to compete that day. His handler ordered him to go back, into the tunnel, but the dog again backed out faster than when he went in. So, to the great delight of the watching crowd, the owner, on hands and knees went into the tunnel, and she came backing out just as fast as the dog. Only this time something else came out. A huge porcupine. He had crawled into the tunnel during the night, hearing the dogs had decided to stay put. It was too much for the crowd. There were hollers to the judges, on how to grade the critter. The dogs were going crazy, until some thoughtful person stuck a shovel under the animal, took it into the nearby woods, and let it loose. The Border Collie went on to be the big winner of the weekend. However every dog who went into the tunnel, took extra time. They had ribbons to win, but more important, they had a lot of sniffing to do where that porcupine had sat. Stormy O' =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Steve considers himself fairly strong, but was dismayed that that he couldn't even lift the 35 pound barbell in the Sporting Goods area. He tried but just simply couldn't lift it. So he tried the 15 pound bar. He still couldn't budge it and looked quite depressed about his own physical strength. I have never done any weight lifting, but after spending many years in the bush and in mines, those silly toys looked like no problem at all. So I grabbed one and yanked it up with a good tug, - and knocked the display over. OOOPS! That's when we realized they had been epoxied onto the shelves. ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: The Island of Philae and the Temple of Isis
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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