Dear Webby: Not getting subscriptions 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  Sept 3, 2007
Happy Labor Day!

Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack. --- Richter
A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?" To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"
A truck driver was having lunch at a truck stop when 8 motorcyclists came in. They ate his crackers, drank his water, etc., and he made no move to object. After he left one of the group laughed and said, "He wasn't much of a man, was he?" The waitress behind the counter, looking out the window said, "He's not much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over 8 motorcycles!"

, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. First she asked, "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" He responded, "It goes moo." The she asked, "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" Alice replied, "It goes meow." Next she asked, "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Her response was, "It goes baa." Finally she questioned one last child, "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" She replied, "Er, it goes ... click!" Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation"... Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said. "That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband!"
Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sherri Ferns, 35 of Concord, NH Not sporty! August 4, 2007 - Concord, New Hampshire - AP A New Hampshire woman has been charged with assault for allegedly throwing pizza at an umpire at a Little League game in Concord last month. Police say 35-year-old Sherri Ferns was working in a concession stand. Her son is on the Concord All-Star team, which lost a close game on July 11. A league investigation said Concord parents and Little League volunteers taunted the umps and tried to provoke them. Police say Ferns tossed pizza that hit one ump and a parent. She's charged with two counts of simple assault. The league disciplined nine parents, board members and volunteers, asking some to resign from the board. Ferns was one of the nine. http://wcco.com/watercooler/watercooler ... 15021.html
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: The station is not pretty, but the view sure is!
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Evi Re: Not getting subscription For some unknown reason I haven't received your most enjoyed news letter for several weeks, although your web page does show I am still subscribed to it. I admit I am NOT a computer expert but I can't find anything in my mail controls that indicates that any of my mail is being blocked, so am wondering what's going on that I'm not receiving a copy every day. Am hoping you can figure it out better than I've been able to! Evie Dear Evi That seems to be normal with ao'ell. You would be surprised to find out how many letters like yours I get every day. Apparentlty they got no sense of humor down there, and the sniveling ninnies like to steal subscriptions. Got to make room for spam, ya know. Have you tried putting humor@webby.com into your white-list? Have FUN! DearWebby
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Deeli's Kudos August 10, 2007 - Trenton, New Jersey - AP Divorce lawyers say electronic toll collection systems are proving to be a valuable tool in exposing cheating spouses. An Associated Press survey found that highway agencies in seven states will release E-ZPass toll records in response to court orders in both criminal and civil cases, including divorces. New York divorce lawyer Jacalyn Barnet called E-ZPass "an easy way to show you took the off-ramp to adultery." She said she's used the records on a number of occasions. Another divorce lawyer, Lynne Gold-Bikin, said she was able to prove her client's husband went to New Jersey on a night he claimed to have been attending a business meeting in Pennsylvania. http://www.wsbtv.com/family/13867607/detail.html

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 9empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Around Your Home's Foundation Check the grading around your house to make sure the ground is sloping away from your house and no plants or dirt is in contact with your siding. Inspect and patch any cracks in your foundation. Remove mildew with a solution of 1 part chlorine bleach to 3 parts water. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another on the way, so call back later." At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch. Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck."
Stormy had to suddenly fly up North to Beaverlodge because of news that her father is dying. She will send in her columns again as soon as she finds a Cybercafe up there. Seems that she hasn't found one yet, so I'll throw in a dog story of my own. One time my summer neighbor, a chef from Switzerland, wanted to borrow one of my dogs to take along, because he heard that there were grizzlies near his favorite fishing spot. Adam was ideal for that. He was tall and had very visible reddish-brown and white markings. He was quite conscientious, but not as obnoxious about it as some of the other dogs. When Jacques brought Adam back, he was quite dissappointed. He said Adam took off as soon as he started fishing, and did not return until he packed up his stuff. I had to explain to him that for every grizzly HE sees, there are a hundred that see him. Adam was just busy spiralling out from his fishing spot ad slowly herding the bears away. They are basically peaceful and especially on hot summer days, rather saunter away than get into any strenuous fight. And since he had not seen a single grizzly all day, obviously Adam had been doing a good job, even though he was not underfoot waiting to be petted, like some of the dogs would have been. They became good friends that season and from that day on, Jaques always asked for Adam. Have FUN! DearWebby

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." DearWebby: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." DearWebby: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an intel inside. How do I get that one out? "

Thanks to Jai for today's Bonus Link: Polar bear and sled dogs
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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