Dear Webby: Media Player to DVD 

Good Morning,   !
Wednesday,  Sept 12, 2007

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. --- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village . When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher. "Howdy," said the hillbilly. "This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?" "Oh, all the usual subjects," said the teacher, nodding at the boy. "Reading, writing, arithmetic." "What's this ?" interrupted the father. "Arith....arith... what did you say?" "'Arithmetic, Sir," said the teacher, "instruction in geometry, algebra and trigonometry." "Trigonometry!" cried the delighted hillbilly. "That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family."
On their wedding night, the young bride went up to her new husband. "Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex." "Okay sweetheart," the groom replied. "Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."

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Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!" Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award goes to Edie Bolanos, 32, of Hammond, Indiana Mother dies after 2 kids killed in mini-van, train collision Video caught woman trying to race a freight train at a Hammond railroad crossing 5:22 AM CDT, September 11, 2007 A mother caught on video more than a week ago trying to race a freight train with her mini-van in northwest Indiana, before two of her children were killed and two of them injured, when their vehicle was hit by TWO trains, died of her injuries early today. Edie Bolanos, 32, of Hammond was pronounced dead at 2:10 a.m. at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, where she had been in critical condition since the Sept. 1 crash in Hammond, according to the Cook County medical examiner's office. Her death comes after two of her children, Crystal Bolanos, 11, and Anahi Bolanos, 8, were killed outside the Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District's Hammond station. Her two other children were treated for their injuries at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital and released. The footage, which was captured by several cameras, showed a 1999 Mercury Villager moving at a high rate of speed through the station's parking lot alongside an eastbound freight train. The video showed the Villager turning south onto the Johnson Avenue crossing before it was struck by a westbound train, then by the eastbound train that she had been racing. The crash took place on the CSX rail line, not far from the South Shore Line station. Edie Bolanos worked on the assembly line at a window company. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/loca ... ;cset=true
Thanks to Scorpio_9FromGa for sending these pictures:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Burn movies from mediaPlayer to DVD Dear Webby Can I use Windows Media Player to burn DVDs? Ann Dear Ann Unfortunately, no. At this time, according to Microsoft, Windows Media Player can only be used to burn CDs and copy files to portable devices. If you have a DVD burner, and you want to burn DVDs, you must use the software that came with the DVD burner. Have FUN! DearWebby
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One day a bachelor who was a poor tipper walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch. A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip. When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his "generosity" and she said she could tell the character of a diner by the way he tipped. "Well, what could you tell about me?" he asked. "You put three pennies in a neat row," said the waitress, "and that shows you are a very tidy person. The first penny tells me you are a frugal, and the second tells me that you are a bachelor." "That's true," he agreed. "But what does the third penny tell you?" "The third penny tells me your Father was a bachelor, too."

Deeli's Kudos Vegan teacher suspended A vegan middle school teacher says he's not going back to class until the school stops serving milk and meat. He doesn't really have any choice about that, since he has been told to leave the school. Dave Warwak has been a teacher at Fox River Grove Middle School for eight years. The 44-year-old became a vegan in January and believes the school is "feeding poison" to students. He also believes the school's posters featuring milk are wrong. Warwak says he won't return until the posters are removed. He's looked into filing child-endangerment charges because he claims it's wrong to promote animal products as part of healthy diet. Warwak says he was asked to leave the school last week because he talked about animal-cruelty issues like milking innocent cows.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 9empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Books Discount bookstores and used books stores usually sell books for half off cover price and online retailers can be even cheaper. The cheapest place to find books, by far, is garage sales and rummage sales. Books are usually only .25 to .50. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A truck driver brought before the judge for an assault charge. The Judge asked the man why he beat the victim up so bad and the truck driver answered: "Well sir Judge that man called me a stupid son-of-a-bitch." The judge replied, "Well you didn't need to beat him up that bad". The truck driver answered "I know that Judge, but what would you do if he called you a stupid son-of-a bitch". The Judge answered: "But I'm not a stupid son-of-a-bitch" The truck driver answered: "I know that judge, but what would you do if he called you the kind of a son-of-a-bitch, you are".

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
CONGRESS EMBRACES INTERNET TECHNOLOGY IN CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM Priceline.com's stock soared and Ebay created an entire new section on their online auction site to accommodate the US Congress' overhaul of campaign financial law. Senator John McCain, in a speech from Capitol Hill, praised his fellow Senators's choice to "name your own price" for Congressional influence. "This is significant legislation that will turn around a stagnant economy by pouring millions into politicians' pockets." In the new law, private citizens will be able to log onto Priceline.com and "name their own price" to influence a member of the House. Citizens wishing to purchase a Senator still need to log on to Ebay, but need to be aware that Senators don't stay bought.

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: 25 Young Gallery
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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