Dear Webby: Open Source 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  Sept 17, 2007

I think it would be a good idea. --- Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization
Thanks to Amy for this report: A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. "That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited
Thanks to Dave for this story: Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!" Then Grandpa said sadly, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those video cameras everywhere you look."

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A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news. So as not to be captured, he ran through fields and traveled through back roads until he reached his wife's house. When he reached the house, he rang the bell, his wife opened the door and screamed, "You lousy bum! Where have you been? You escaped more than two days ago!" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shawnda K. Hatfield, Muncie, Indiana Faked Cremation September 14, 2007 - Muncie, Indiana - AP Prosecutors are investigating whether a phony obituary was placed in an Indiana newspaper in an attempt to keep a convicted forger out of prison. The obituary reporting the supposed death and cremation of Shawnda K. Hatfield was faxed to Delaware Circuit Court Judge Robert Barnet Jr. But Hatfield, 41, was later found at her home and arrested. Barnet sentenced her Thursday to four years in prison for altering a check drawn on the account of White Feather Farms, where she formerly worked. Hatfield said she had no idea how her obituary ended up in The Star Press. Kathy Whittenburg, an employee in the newspaper's classified advertising department, said the obituary appeared after a caller purporting to be Hatfield's niece phoned The Star Press and later provided a telephone number she said belonged to a Florida crematory. Deputy Prosecutor Joe Orick told Hatfield that if an investigation showed her relatives were involved in the fake obituary, "You can have a family reunion upstairs" -- in jail. ... 1355.shtml
Re the forest fire smoke in yesterday's picture, the fire is in British Columbia, on the other side of the Rockies. Subscriber Ann is at the fire by Big Bear Lake, California. If you are near one of the fires, send me the coordinates, and I'll mark you into the map too.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Eudora not sold any more Dear Webby, I went to the Eudora page and saw that they had quit selling a version. I noticed the latest version was 7.1 a sponsored version. Do you still reccommend this? There is a button that say to stay in sponsored mode you must update, would that be for people with older versions who wish to stay with the program. What is open source Eudora? Thanks Webby, you are still the number one ezine. Ron Dear Ron Yes, it is Open Source (free) now. You can still get the old versions, if you want. The ad sponsored version has a little square ad in the left bottom corner. No big deal. I think they stopped delivering ads anyway. Older versions are at The Beta of the Open Source Eudora 8 is at Have FUN! DearWebby
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A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence. The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common -- they were both pathological liars.

Deeli's Kudos September 15, 2007 - Ft. Lauderdale, Florida - Sun Sentinel A Florida man has been besieged with job offers - after he was sacked for saving a woman from an armed robber. Juan Canales, 42, lost his job as a waiter with a Thai restaurant in Fort Lauderdale after his boss got sick of the media attention. But he quickly received new job offers once the twist to the story was reported in the local press, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. "I just felt bad for him because here is a guy who does the right thing and he gets fired for it," said Peggy Talerico, of All Atlas Roofing. Robert Garofalo, owner of an electrical repair business, said he, too, wanted to help: "Come on, the guy fired him for being a hero. Ridiculous." Canales was fired after subduing a knife-wielding robber who tried to steal a Honda car from a woman customer. He disarmed the man then, with the help of three other men, managed to hold the robber down until police arrived. Mr. Canales then spent an hour talking to police and the media. He returned to work but when the lunch shift ended, his boss fired him. "The owner got belligerent" about all the attention his scuffle with the carjacker generated, he said. Although he was "devastated," Mr. Canales said, "I would do it again because it was the right thing to do."

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We had a great neighborhood watch going when I was a kid... until she closed her curtains.

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A woman was out shopping one day with her son. The boy spotted a man who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom's hand and said, "Momma, look at the bowlegged man!" Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read a play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished reading the play. Finally he finished and his mom took him once again to the mall. Again he spied a bowlegged man, but remembered what happened the last time. So he pulled on his mother's hand and said, "Lo, what manner of men are these, Who wear their balls in parentheses?" .
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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