Dear Webby: AOL Problems 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  Sept 18, 2007

True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway. --- Edna Buchanan
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
My feisty 70-year-old neighbor Frances had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. "Labor charges!" Frances exclaimed. "It only took you five minutes." The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call. "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," my neighbor responded and she handed him a rake. He spent the next 55 minutes in her back yard bagging leaves. Then he charged her an hour extra for traveling time.

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A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?" To which he replies, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 17 year old boy in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Too dumb to own a gun September 13, 2007 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - AP A 17-year-old boy accidentally shot himself in the leg while standing in line at a McDonald's restaurant and now he faces an illegal weapons charge. The boy was fiddling with the .25-caliber pistol tucked in his waistband when it fired, wounding him in the upper thigh shortly before 9 p.m. Wednesday, city police Sgt. William Gorman said. The boy was in good condition at Mercy Hospital. He was to be charged with illegal possession of a firearm, because he is not old enough to lawfully have a gun, police said. Police were also trying to determine if the gun was stolen. ... pe=bondage
Thanks to Deeli for this picture from her balcony in Richland, WA.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ginger Re: AOL problems wrote: it says I'm already subscribed but haven't been getting the letter please check into it for me Dear Ginger That's just a routine AOL screw-up. Once your subscription has entered the AOL server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Once you graduate from AOL, you will never have that problem again. In the meantime, you can contact AOL "support", and ask them to stop stealing your subscription. Have FUN! DearWebby
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While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was actually an earphone from a transistor radio. The wire had been cut and was sticking out of his shirt. "How does that help your hearing?" I asked. "Don't help my hearing none," he replied. "Makes people talk louder."

Deeli's Kudos September 10, 2007 - Glenview, Illinois - Chicago, Tribune Tom Foust saw the train lights in the distance and knew it was time to stop arguing with the elderly driver, whose white Lexus was stuck on railroad tracks. As his two friends pounded on the car windows, yelling for her to leave the car, Foust, 17, unclipped the seat belt and carried her to safety with seconds to spare. He shielded her body from flying debris as the Lexus was "eviscerated".

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Don't Bag It, Use It Use the grass clippings to help feed your lawn. The clippings will work as slow release fertilizer for your lawn and help encourage growth. If the grass clippings are in clumps, use a rake to spread them out. Clumps of grass will create a thatch problem which will smother the lawn. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

When I took my baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time, I dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, I placed her in the shopping cart, put my purchases around her, and headed for the checkout line. A small boy and his mother were ahead of me. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any, I thought. Then I heard his mother's reply. "No!" she said, and, looking in my direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
A man rushed into a jewelry store, told the clerk he needed a pair of diamond earrings for his wedding anniversary, and quickly made his selection. When asked if he wanted them wrapped, he replied, "That would be great, but hurry. My wife thinks I'm taking out the garbage!" .
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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