Dear Webby: Mark 17 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  Sept 20, 2007

Chance can allow you to accomplish a goal every once in a while, but consistent achievement happens only if you love what you are doing. --- Bart Conner
Thanks to LLLiDO for this story: Sally had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbour ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbour bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."
Thanks to Darlene for bringing back this Classic: A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use "Big People' words." She then asked little Zach what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest and with as deep a voice he could muster and with great pride belted out: "Winnie the SHIT

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I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Department Of Motor Vehicles In Washington State Not organized September 19, 2007 - Richland, Washington - Deeli Having recently relocated from the state of Michigan to the state of Washington, Deeli finds it both disconcerting and rather comical that she may not apply for her Washington State Drivers License, 'YET' ... Keep in mind that even with birth certificate, Michigan drivers license, Passport, Washington State apartment lease, Washington State utility company approval for use of utilities at said apartment, proof of shipment of household goods to Richland, WA, proof of shipment of vehicle to Richland, WA, Washington state auto insurance, etc. etc. etc., well, none of these documents are enough to be considered a resident of Washington State. Now keep in mind that new residents of Washington State must take their drivers test within 30 days of arrival. What's the hold-up you ask ??? One must first receive one's first 'utility bill', or any other documents deemed as 'proof' of Washington State residencey, via postal mail only, before considered an 'official resident' in the state of Washington. Self Employment pay doesn't cut it either nor do Washington State bank accounts make one a 'resident' eligible to apply for a driver's test. Nope, have to have a paycheck from a local company or that first utility bill. Don't worry, Deeli! Just get it in writing, that you are not allowed to take the test. Plus a print-out of this Bonehead Award, of course. If you get stopped for speeding, show them those papers along with your Michigan drivers license. They will probably start laughing ans let you off with a warning.
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Evi Re: AOL Dear Webby Well- at least now I know this address is working right! I called AOL- and of course I got a number that they said the "non AOL" member who was sending had to call. They then referred me to another number for AOL members, and they referred me to live chat..so will try that and see if I can fix anything from my end! Am still reading your humor letter on line daily...thank you for the link in the Hi card letter! Evie Wohlers Dear Evi About a five hundred AOLers do receive the Humor Letter, and about 200 or so, it seems, don't. Since the many thousands, who have graduated from AOL, get it without any hassle, it would seem the problem is on the AOL side, and no matter what I change on my side, SOME AOLers will still have problems.. Have FUN! DearWebby
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From LLLiDO: It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in." --------------------------- Last time I featured this joke, two people bitterly complained that it was not clean enough for church, and about two hundred people forwarded it to their entire Friends List, which apparently included my address too.

Deeli's Kudos September 17, 2007 - Berwick, Pennsylvania - AP You might say she was born to be wild a century ago. Evelyn Warburton rode to her 100th birthday party Saturday in a motorcycle sidecar. She sported a black leather jacket, a helmet and a pair of sunglasses for the 10-minute ride from her home in Lightstreet to her granddaughter's house in Berwick. ''It was fun today,'' said Warburton. Her chauffeur on the green 2000 Herley-Davidson Ultra was George Crawford, a friend who had been offering to take her to church on his motorcycle for several years. Warburton finally accepted Crawford's offer of a ride to her party. She had actually turned 100 on Thursday. Crawford said Warburton was nervous at first, but relaxed after he assured her she wouldn't fly out of the sidecar. The duo hit a top speed of 40 mph. ''She's willing to try new things,'' said Warburton's daughter, Nancy Hartzel. http://www.happynews.com/news/9172007/w ... idecar.htm

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 9empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Thanks to Lu for this story: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1953." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you all understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many people had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark only has 16 chapters. I will know proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Balloons
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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