Dear Webby 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  Sept 22, 2007

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen? --- Evelyn Waugh
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A very self-important liberal college freshman was attending a recent football game. He took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and...," pausing to take another drink of beer. The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young....... .so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead, what are YOU doing for the next generation?" The applause was deafening. ------------- Personally, I doubt that the wimps of today could repeat the moon walk.
Bob man says to his wife Judy, "Guess what I heard at the pub today? They were saying the milkman is having sex with every woman in our apartment building except one, but they are not sure who that one is." And right a way Judy jumps up and says, "I know who that is! I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis, in apartment 612."

, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Cats in Physics Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat. Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it. Law of Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop. Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long. Law of Obedience Resistance A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something. First Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible. Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping. Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. Law of Random Comfort Seeking A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room. Law of Bag / Box Occupancy All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. Law of Cat Embarrassment A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. Law of Furniture Replacement A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. Law of Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible. Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity. Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Morrison's in West Kirby, Wirral, UK Blind and stupid September 20, 2007 - West Kirby, Wirral, UK - Ananova Supermarket staff refused to sell wine to a 72-year-old man - because he would not prove he was over 21. Check-out staff at Morrison's demanded Tony Ralls prove he was old enough to buy two bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. The white-haired grandfather-of-three said he had refused to confirm he was over 21 as it was a "stupid question." Mr. Ralls asked to see the manager of the store, in West Kirby, Wirral, reports the BBC. "I felt like saying: 'What do I look like? Are you a fool?' He picks up the wine and, in the manner of a child taking home his ball, says: 'Well, we won't serve you'." The pensioner abandoned his shopping on the conveyor belt and left the store but not before demanding a complaints form and phone number for Morrison's headquarters. Mr. Ralls said: "It is bureaucracy gone mad." http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2517121.html?menu=
Thanks to Rubye for sending this picture:
Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Un-Install IE6 Dear Webby It's Ann again!!!! I just wanted to know if I could uninstall the internet Explorer 6 and just use Firefox???? Love your Humor Letter, makes my day for sure Ann Dear Ann You can use both of them! No need to un-install either one. They work fine together, even side by side. Most webmasters have both open side by side to check if their work looks OK on both of them. Theoretically, Windows should work without IE on the computer, but in real life you will find that Windows and also other programs now and then use building blocks from IE instead of trying to duplicate stuff that is already written and polished. There are also some tasks that Firefox isn't very good at yet, for example many tasks related to printing web pages. At those times it's handy, when you can just open IE6 and get the job done. You don't have to close Firefox to do that. Have FUN! DearWebby
Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com
Thnaks to Kevin for this story: At the doctor's office, the Nurse was taking my blood pressure. She caused me some concern by rechecking it twice, then said, "Hmmmm. That's odd -- it's normal." I replied I had taken my high blood pressure medicine less than an hour ago. She said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was losing it. Normally when I take the men's BP readings they're always on the high side."

Deeli's Kudos September 18, 2007 - Baltimore, Maryland - Gimundo Eli Kahn, of Baltimore, Maryland, was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of three. He whiled away years in bed with nothing to do but watch soap operas, stare into the hospital parking lot, or simply lie there and think so mostly, he thought. And when his leukemia finally went into remission, Eli had already hatched a plan for how to spend his time now that he was finally healthy again: He would raise money to support the cure of childhood cancers like his. His fundraising method? Recycling printer cartridges. For the past three years, Eli has solicited donations of used ink jet and laser printer cartridges from individuals, businesses, schools, and nonprofit organizations through a program he calls Cartridges for the Cure. That may seem like small change, but it adds up fast: To date, Eli, now 15, has earned more than $23,000 in donations to the pediatric oncology department at Johns Hopkins. If you've got any used cartridges yourself, don't toss them into the trash help Eli cure cancer instead. For more details about this inspiring survivor's program, visit Catridges for a Cure. http://www.gimundo.com/Articles/Daily/5 ... ually_Like

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 9empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Wood Blocks You can make great wood blocks using scrap wood. Start with untreated lumber, cut the wood into various sizes, sand off any rough edges, stain the wood and then seal them with polyurethane. You can even let your kids paint pictures on the blocks before you apply the polyurethane. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The Ontario coed was anxious to see her parents over the holidays. Access to their remote cabin near Caribou Lake was limited, so she was trying to talk a local bush pilot into flying her home. "But there's no place to land." he protested. She told him of a clearing she had used last year. The pilot agreed. Upon approaching the clearing, it looked too short, with a rise at the end. Going in on a wing and a prayer the lil' plane skidded along, hit the rise, then flipped over. Once safely out of the plane, the girl smiled and said, "Yep. They had to land the same way last year too."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
A client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Elegant Sugar Cubes
.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





[ view entry ] ( 247 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 560 )

<<First <Back | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145 | 146 | 147 | 148 | Next> Last>>