Dear Webby: Why Firefox 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  Sept 23, 2007

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. --- Mickey Rooney I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. --- Rita Mae Brown
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
This guy was walking along the beach one day and ran across a lamp. He picked it up a rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie told him he would grant the man three wishes. "First," the guy began, "I'd like a million dollars." POOF! A million dollars was suddenly showing on his checkbook balance. "Second," he continued, "I'd like a new Mercedes." POOF! A Mercedes appeared right in front of him. "Third," the guy smirked, "I'd like to be irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a VISA card.

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Approaching the counter at a local post office, said to the stern-faced woman on the other side, "Are you the Postmistress?" "No!" she replied testily. "I'm the Postmaster. Uncle Sam doesn't pay me enough to be anyone's mistress." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louis Pasquale, 35, of Seaford, N.Y. Strong like bull, smart like paddle September 19, 2007 - New York, New York - AP A man who tried to tow his 35-foot fishing vessel to a marina by paddling in a 9-foot inflatable boat was fished out of a Long Island canal by Coast Guard officials Wednesday. "This is one of the most unsafe things I may have ever seen a boater do," said U.S. Coast Guard spokesman Lt. Steven Koch. Louis Pasquale, 35, of Seaford, N.Y., was attempting to tow his fishing vessel Barbara Ann from the North Channel near Bay Shore about 20 miles to Freeport. He was not injured, but not wearing a life jacket, the Coast Guard said. Pasquale reportedly started towing the Barbara Ann at 5:30 a.m from the East Islip Marina, and had managed to move it about 100 yards in three hours when both the Coast Guard and Islip Harbor Police stopped him. A rescue boat crew towed the vessel back to the East Islip Marina, and ordered Pasquale to anchor, the Coast Guard said. He was issued a state summons and a Town of Islip summons for unsafe operation and hazard to navigation. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/ ... 9966.shtml
Thanks to my dad for sending this picture from a hike he was on today:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jaye Re: Why Firefox Dear Webby Why would anyone need to use Firefox Webby, and what program is it? Jaye Dear Jaye Nobody NEEDS to use the Firefox browser. It's just another browser, and people who have religious reasons to look for alternatives to Microsoft products, are free to use it. However, you will still need to use IE to get the automatic security updates and patches for Windows. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A young woman was driving the speed limit in freeway traffic. Car after car passed her, so she speeded up. Still car after car passed her. Suddenly, in the rear view mirror, she saw the flashing lights of a police cruiser behind her. She pulled over and rolled down her window. The patrol officer walked up and asked her, "Do you know why I stopped you?" And the young woman replied, "Yes. I was the only slow enough for you to catch!"

Deeli's Kudos September 17, 2007 - London, UK - AP British hospitals are banning neckties, long sleeves and jewelry for doctors and their traditional white coats in an effort to stop the spread of deadly hospital-borne infections, according to new rules published Monday. Hospital dress codes typically urge doctors to look professional, which, for male practitioners, has usually meant wearing a tie. But as concern over hospital-born infections has intensified, doctors are taking a closer look at their clothing. ''Ties are rarely laundered but worn daily,'' the Department of Health said in a statement. ''They perform no beneficial function in patient care and have been shown to be colonized by pathogens.'' The new regulations would mean an end to doctors' traditional long-sleeved white coats, Health Secretary Alan Johnson said. Fake nails, jewelry and watches, which the department warned could harbor germs, are also out. Johnson said the ''bare below the elbows'' dress code would help prevent the spread of Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, the deadly bacteria resistant to nearly every available antibiotic. Popularly known as a ''superbug,'' MRSA accounts for more than 40 percent of in-hospital blood infections in Britain. Because the bacteria is so hard to kill, health care workers have instead focused on containing its spread through improvements to hospital hygiene. http://www.happynews.com/news/9172007/n ... octors.htm

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 9empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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"So, Mullany, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," Mullany shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object."

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An older friend, recently returned from her home town in North Carolina, says they've spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years back. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "Together?" I asked, puzzled. "Well, years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered all over." "You mean they exhumed all those people and re-buried them?" "Oh no," she said. "They just moved the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer...."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Munich Octoberfest More pictures
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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