Dear Webby: Install the phone 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  Sept 28, 2007
Wear something red today to show your support for the troops!

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. --- Andy Warhol
Smith was seated comfortably in his living room one evening when a rock crashed through the window and landed at his feet, amidst a shower of splintered glass. To the rock was attached a note: "Unless you pay us $10,000 according to instructions, we will kidnap your wife." After some thought, Smith sat down at his desk and penned a reply: "Gentlemen, Your rock of this date has been received. I don't have $10,000 at this time. However, keep in touch, as your proposition interests me..."
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to speak, he gasped, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passed out a sample of it..."

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A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the guide... Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul Henry Ledwik, 31, of Calhoun County, Alabama Gun Nut Man arrested for having rocket launcher The Associated Press | Thursday, Sep 27 2007 1:50 PM Last Updated: Thursday, Sep 27 2007 1:50 PM A 31-year-old man was arrested Tuesday by federal agents and sheriff's officials acting on a tip that the convicted burglar had a rocket launcher. Paul Henry Ledwik was arrested without incident on a felon in possession of firearms warrant issued by a federal judge in Corpus Christi. He was being held in the Aransas County Jail, awaiting transfer to a federal court appearance in Corpus Christi, officials said. Jail officials did not make Ledwik available for comment. They didn't have information on whether Ledwik had an attorney. Calhoun County Sheriff B.B. Browning said he notified federal agents about the rocket launcher after hearing about it from someone who saw it in Ledwik's apartment. "It's a shoulder firearm, a one-time rocket launcher," federal agent Rick Miller said in a story for Wednesday editions of the Victoria Advocate. "You use it once and throw it away. To my knowledge, there's no way to reload it. It wouldn't fire again." Members of the Sheriff's Office SWAT team and ATF agents seized the launcher, four rifles, a handgun and several boxes of ammunition. Browning said Ledwik is "a man who loves guns and loves to hunt, but he's not supposed to be doing it. He can't even get a hunting license, but he hunts anyway. I have no idea where he gets the guns." Ledwik has served prison time for 10 convictions of burglary in Calhoun County, officials said.

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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Susan Lee Re: Subscription Dear Webby, I have been receiving your newsletter for some time now. I am registered under Early this year I changed over to a broadband connection and change to For about six months I received the newsletter at this address but then it suddenly stopped coming in. I reverted back to the alphalink address and that one works. However that account is about to expire this week and I need to get it back through the netspace account. I have been through everything I can think of. I have your email address in my address book, I have double checked all my junk mail settings to make sure your address didn't get entered by mistake and I have also added you to the white list in my netspace site. But I still can't get the newsletter on the netspace address. Can you suggest anything else? I know I can just go to your website and read it there but I would still like to get it sent to me direct as I enjoy reading your newsletter very much. And I just love the pictures that you send with it especially the cactus flowers from your dad. Hoping you can help, Regards Susan Lee Dear Susan Lee Your Humor Letter gets INTO the netspace server. Once it is in their server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. You will have to screech a temper tantrum at the boneheads, and may have to threaten dire consequences. Here is some ammo that you can use: The Dear Webby Humor Letter is "The Good Example" for legitimate newsletters: The Dear Webby Humor Letter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, it has a privacy policy listed, it has FULL contact information listed, it is sent to double-opt-in verified subscribers only, it has click-on un-subscribe links, it shows the subscriber which of their addresses is subscribed, it has an on-line copy ( at ), it is sent from a company that has never spammed, it is sent from a server that has never been used for spamming, it is sent from a hosting system that does not allow spamming, it has consistent, never changing headers. it is family safe. is not in ANY RBL blacklist: The Humor Letter always has these lines in the header: From: Reply-To: Those lines have not changed in 11 years and can be used for white-listing With the Listed Sender ID, even the excuse, that spammers may have forged a Webby address as their sender address, falls flat. In summary, there is absolutely NO legitimate reason or excuse for ANY spam complaint regarding the DearWebby Humor Letter or any mail from, and any complaint only discredits the complainer. Any failure to deliver or bounce only proves the incompetence of the recipient's mail service. Good Luck DearWebby
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Thanks to Vickey for this one: "Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck, his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married."

Deeli's Kudos September 21, 2007 - Sichuan Province, China - Gimundo If you're single, you may think it's hard to meet that special someone but you've still got it way better than wild pandas in China do. After all, the 600 pandas in China's Sichuan Province can't meet up at bars or coffee shops. They probably can't hack it at, either. And these days, even crossing paths in the jungle can be problematic. Since the 1950s, the pandas' mountainous territory has been divided in two by a major highway. As if that isn't enough of a p itfall, the poor animals also have the high waters of the nearby river to contend with. "The pandas want to find a mate, but they can't cross the river. In the south part, the pandas cannot communicate with each other, because the landscape is fragmented," biologist Yin Kaipu told Australia's Daily Telegraph. Luckily, scientists have finally come up with an innovative way to bring the lovelorn pandas from the North and the South together again. Their solution? A special bamboo-filled "dating and mating lane" that links the two disparate regions. Sure, the new bamboo corridor may not be as classy as the restaurant your last date took you to but as far as the pandas are concerned, it's got a special ambiance of its own. If nothing else, it provides them with the perfect opportunity to mingle with the opposite sex which should go a long way towards keeping this amazing species alive and thriving for many years to come. ... red_Pandas

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Daily tip from Checkout Surprise Tired of being surprised by the total when you get at the checkout? Carry a small calculator and keep a running total as you go through the store. It eliminates the surprise (or shock) of hearing the total from the checker and also makes it easy to stick to your grocery budget. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited. His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young doctor told her to send him in. Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man." He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?" "No," said the man, "I just came in to install the phone...."

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Lori, the pert and pretty Nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me." she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." "I see." nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the Nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Cornstarch
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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