Good Morning, ! Friday, October 5, 2007 Wear something red to show your support for the troops!
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." --- Upton Sinclair All that we are is the result of what we have thought. --- Buddha You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. --- Dolly Parton I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them." --- Robert Orben
They were burying Irish Pat today and the Irish Priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of you MUST get up and say something nice about the man. It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His brother was even worse!".
The story is told of a Russian named Ivanovich who visited the Moscow zoo for the first time. To his amazement, he found a little lamb sharing the cage with a big fierce bear. Ivanovich expressed surprise to his guide. The guide smiled and said, "That is peaceful coexistence." When Ivanovich shook his head in a doubtful way, the guide explained, "Of course, we have to put in a fresh lamb every morning..."A handsome young man walks into a chemist shop which is owned and run by two old spinster sisters. The man said to the two old women, "Every time I see a woman, I get the urge to hug and kiss her, and to make mad, passionate love. Is there anything you can give me for this?" The two old women whispered to each other for a moment, and then one of them replied, "My sister and I will give you $200 a week and the two-room flat above the shop." http://www.wsbtv.com/news/14250002/detail.html
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Thanks to Ross for this picture: Ross wants you to join his bike club and ride for daily exercise in fresh air.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lucille Re: Earthlink Total Access Dear Webby, Recently, Earthlink or Embarq decreed that my email service would change. I was advised that Earthlink Access would no longer work. I tried to delete it. I think I partially succeeded, but now I have a window I cannot eliminate called Total Access Core Applications. I have pressed cancel, tried the escape key, tried alt F4... and of course, my problems all started when I went to the control panel and tried "ad/remove" I called Earthlink for help. I sat on hold for a half hour. A very kind lady named Stephanie kept coming on the line to assure me she was still trying to get me tech help. Finally, I talked to a guy from Bombay who gave me the number I had just called as a source of help. Do you have any ideas? Lucille Dear Lucille I went onto the Earthlink Support Live Chat, because my lack of patience with the phone support boneheads just leads to hostile and abusive language. Live text chat is instant, no waiting, and I have a log. They told me to tell you this and emailed me a log of the chat: 1) Click on Start --> 2) Run --> 3) Type regedit and click on Ok --> 4) You'll get the registry editor window --> 5) On the left hand side, you have a folder called HKEY_Current User - Click on the + sign next to the folder --> 6) Under that folder, you have software folder - click on the + sign next to that --> 7) Under the software folder, you have the EarthLink folder - right click on it and delete it --> 8) Compress all the folders by clicking on the ( -) sign --> 9) Click on the folder called HKEY_Local machine - Click on the + sign next to the folder --> 10) Under that folder, you have software folder - click on the + sign next to that --> 11) Under the software folder, you have the EarthLink folder - right click on it and delete it --> 12) Compress all the folders by clicking on the ( -) sign. 13) Close the window. 14) Restart the computer. I asked them if they have a single-click fix.reg file for accomplishing that, but she replied that they don't have anybody familiar enough with Windows to write one. Have FUN! DearWebby
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That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," Jill stated irately to Lin. "You didn't do it, did you?" asked Lin. "I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add," Jill replied. "What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband that the rent is paid up for six months!"
Deeli's Kudos October 2, 2007 - Scottboro, Alabama - AP A Scottboro couple recently celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary, one of the longest marriages among living people when compared to reports in the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records. Alonzo, 97, and Beulah Sims, 94, celebrated their anniversary a day early Sunday at the nursing home where they have lived since May 2002. Without their families' approval, the two teens married in 1927, when he was working at a farm, plowing fields with a mule and picking cotton for 50 cents a day. The couple, who raised six children, credit their long lives to hard farm work and eating lots of vegetables. They moved frequently to find farm work, going from Paint Rock Valley near Garth to Atchley Bottom in Madison County and then to Woodville in the 1960s. They said their eight decades of marriage have been virtually free of fussing. "We've been too busy to fight," Beulah Sims said. Alonzo Sims retired from farming in 1966 and did janitorial work at Redstone Arsenal until 1972. They also operated service stations in Paint Rock and Woodville for a few years. Now, they spend their time visiting other residents at the nursing home, listening to gospel music, and playing bingo. "After all these years," he said, "I still enjoy being with her." http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jtY2 ... wD8S1BFM02
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at email@example.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning With Baking Soda Make a paste of baking soda with water for a mild abrasive. You can use it instead of Comet or other abrasive cleaners for cleaning bathroom fixtures. It works well for cleaning spots off chrome and stainless steel. It can also be added to your laundry as a booster (1/2 cup should work). Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A gentleman goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?" The tourist guide says, "Yes, it's safe. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa." The tourist replied, "But I heard there may still be some cannibals around here." The guide answered, "There are NO cannibals here. I'm sure. We ate the last one yesterday."A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed. "You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly. "I married your sister..."
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