Dear Webby: Bad McAfee Update 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  October 7, 2007

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. --- Charles Bukowski
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it..."
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him. "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men. What's your name?" she asked. He said, "Bob Titsenbeer"

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Thanks to Craig for this one: Like a lot of married men, I got the "You just don't appreciate me" speech once from Juanita. I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day. I took her to lunch at Burger King and Dairy Queen for dessert. She's never mentioned it since. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Ginevan of Bunker Hill, West Virginia Low Speed Chase October 3, 2007 - Martinsburg, West Virginia - AP A man accused of drunken driving tried to outrun the police but his vehicle wasn't up to the task. Michael Ginevan of Bunker Hill was driving a riding lawnmower on Runnymeade Road about a mile from his home when a Berkeley County sheriff's deputy attempted to pull him over. Ginevan, 39, allegedly sped away and Deputy J.H. Jenkins stopped his cruiser and gave chase on foot, according to magistrate court records. Jenkins caught up to the lawnmower after a short chase but Ginevan allegedly wouldn't stop so the deputy pulled him off the machine. Ginevan refused to take a field sobriety test and was arrested. Jenkins then found a case of beer strapped to the lawnmower's front, court records show. Ginevan was charged with fleeing while driving under the influence and obstructing an officer. He was being held Tuesday at the Eastern Regional Jail on $7,500 bond. ... 0491.story
Thanks to Dave for sending this picture: Some people are really fussy about deadines!
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Geo Re: Comcast Dear Webby: up until yesterday my Eudora was working fine. I could send and receive emails via AND Yestereday Eudora stopped receiving from comcast! Gmail still works for both send and receive. I tried to contact comcast support but all they could do was insist that they didn't support Eudora! Have you previously discussed anything like this? And can you help resolve this? Thanks - Geo Dear Geo As you probably have found out, it takes a positive IQ number to use and/or support Eudora. I am not surprised that Comcast admits that they don't quite qualify for that. Your Eudora problem may be connected to a bad McAfee update that went out yesterday. People from totally different countries and with totally different ISPs suddenly experienced exactly the same problem as you did. The only thing they all had in common was that they all used Eudora, and that it worked just fine until yesterday's McAfee update. Try contacting McAfee and see what they can do. By now they may have a fix to undo that bad update. It didn't affect all Eudora users, but I personally know a few who were affected exactly the same as you were. Before the Friday McAfee update their Eudora had worked flawlessly for many years, then after that update it stopped and did not latch on to POP servers any more. Please let me know what you find out from McAfee! Good luck! DearWebby
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Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said, "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue."

Deeli's Kudos September 20, 2007 - Fort Gratiot Township, Michigan - AP An insistent 6-year-old girl who spotted a buck falling into a 6-foot-deep window well at her first-grade teacher's home is being credited with helping to save the deer's life. On Wednesday afternoon, Abby Smith told teacher Linda Aho that the deer had fallen into a hole at Aho's St. Clair County home, which is located adjacent to Lighthouse Christian Academy's playground. Aho said she thought Abby was kidding, but the girl who lives in nearby Burtchville Township kept insisting and burst into tears when the students lined up to go inside and nobody had checked out her claim. ''I didn't believe her until she started to cry,'' Aho told the Times Herald of Port Huron. The school sent staff members to Aho's house, where they found the 80- to 100-pound buck. John Borkovich, an officer with the state Department of Natural Resources, and Jason Schultz, who drives a wrecker for Preferred Towing, soon arrived to help. Borkovich wrapped the deer in a blanket and rigged a harness. Schultz used the wrecker to hoist the buck out of the hole. The deer was disoriented, and Borkovich guided him into a nearby patch of trees. Mike DeLong, director of Lighthouse Christian Academy, said staff planned to show students pictures of the deer and let them know it was rescued. ... e-deer.htm

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Breaking Up a Dog Fight The best way to break up a dog fight is to throw water on the dogs. This will usually startle the dogs enough to stop the fighting. Breaking up a dog fight with your hands can be very dangerous as you are liable to get bit or scratched. In winter, when thawed out water may be hard to come by, gonging them with an empty plastic 5 gallon pail usually gets their attention, especially if it is the same pail that you use to feed them. It may look cruel, but is a lot better than letting them kill or injure each other. DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ah, no. That wasn't my husband. My husband just walked in the front door."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATE!!!"

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Bear Rescue
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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