Dear Webby: : Eudora disabled by recent McAfee update 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  October 8, 2007

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. --- Laurence J. Peter
Thanks to Cookie for this story: Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden." Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles." Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago." "Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"

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This 45 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you're doing?" She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45 year-old ass?" "Oh, your name never came up," she replied Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shannon Whisnant in Maiden, North Carolina Ghoul October 2, 2007 - Greenville, South Carolina - BBC John Wood's smoker was sold to Shannon Whisnant last week after he fell behind on payments at the storage facility in North Carolina where it was kept. He wants his leg back but Mr. Whisnant says he has a receipt for the smoker's contents and wants to share ownership. Mr. Wood's leg was amputated above the knee after a plane crash in 2004. He asked to keep the leg so he could be buried as a whole man when he died, and stored it at the facility in Maiden after losing his home. But when Mr. Wood failed to pay the necessary rental fees, the storage company auctioned the smoker and all its contents. After buying the smoker last Tuesday, Mr. Whisnant looked inside and found a man's leg wrapped in a wire screen. He initially gave the leg to the police, who concluded it had not been removed as a result of a crime and sent it to a funeral home until Mr. Wood could pick it up. But after making money by charging adults $3 (1.47) and children $1 (49p) to look inside the empty smoker, Mr. Whisnant asked for it back. His request was refused by the funeral home, so he decided to try to persuade Mr. Wood to share custody and profits. "I told him I'd share custody of it..." Mr. Whisnant said. Mr. Wood, who now lives in Greenville, South Carolina, has insisted he is not interested in using the leg to make money and plans to travel to Maiden as soon as possible to reclaim it. "I just think it's despicable," he said. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7024124.stm
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Sunday's sunset
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Geo Re: McAfee malfunction Dear Webby: I disabled the McAfee email protection and was able to download my email. I also went to the McAfee and sent them a message. Geo Dear Geo Good! I hope McAfee will not be too snooty to reply to you. Usually they just quietly make a fix and never admit that they had screwed up. This problem did not seem to affect ALL Eudora users who got a McAfee update on Friday, but nobody else. If somebody does not have Eudora AND McAfee, they were not affected. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman, who left, shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says "Yes," and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and askes, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

Deeli's Kudos October 1, 2007 Sao Paulo, Brazil - AP A 51-year-old surrogate mother for her daughter has given birth to her own twin grandchildren in northeastern Brazil, the delivery hospital said. Rosinete Palmeira Serrao, a government health worker, gave birth to twin boys by Caesarean section on Thursday at the Santa Joana Hospital in the city of Recife, the hospital said in a statement on its Web site. Hospital officials were not available for comment on Sunday, but press reports said the grandmother and twins were discharged on Saturday in excellent health. Serrao decided to serve as a surrogate mother after four years of failed attempts at pregnancy by her 27-year-old daughter, Claudia Michelle de Brito. Brazilian law stipulates that only close relatives can serve as surrogate mothers. De Brito is an only child and none of her cousins volunteered, so Serrao agreed to receive four embryos from her daughter. http://www.happynews.com/news/1012007/w ... ildren.htm


The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at tenempress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Tip Calculations Here's a trick for computing a 15% tip in your head. Start by calculating 10% of the bill and then add half. For example, if the bill is $24 dollars, a 15% tip would be $2.40 (10%) plus $1.20 (half of 15%), for a total of $3.60. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Bob for this story: Some time back, my cousin, Steve moved to a new apartment. Steve had a business commitment out of town that weekend and so I and my three brothers all chipped in to help his wife move the furniture. The new apartment was on the third floor. We hauled everything up the three flights of stairs and around the tight corner through the kitchen put them where they belonged. Finally, we came to the large couch. After hauling it up three flights to the top of the stairs, we discovered it would not go around the corner through the kitchen. We took it back out into the hall and turned it and tried again. It still wouldn't fit. Finally all of us boosted the couch from the back of the truck up the side of the building. From the third floor, we passed the couch up and over the railing of the tiny balcony and in through the sliding doors into the living room. We all col- lapsed on the couch to catch our breath and made a pact that we would not tell Steve how we got the couch into the apart- ment. "The next time he moves," we conspired, "he will have to figure out how to get the couch out of there on his own. It will be our little secret. He will have to take a saw to it!" As luck would have it, Steve found a place he liked better about three months later. It really was a busy weekend at work, and none of us were available to help move. We waited eagerly to hear from Steve but there was nothing. Finally, after several days of waiting, I asked Steve, "So, did you get everything moved OK?" "Sure," he replied. "Did you run into any problems?" "No." "Now, wait a minute, we had to drag the couch up the outside of the building and haul it over the railing! How did you get it out of the living room? It didn't fit through the kitchen!" Steve looked at me with total disbelief and said, "Geez, you idiots, the legs unscrew!"

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Thanks to Chris for this story: A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that I could at least get around. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop for another hour."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: US Currency Security Features
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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