Dear Webby: No mail to AOL 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  October 13, 2007

Remember the difference between a boss and a leader: A boss says "Go!" A leader says "Let's go!" --- E.M. Kelly You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well. --- Carrie Fisher
Thanks to Ross for this story: A Welsh farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking out of a pond. The Welsh farmer shouted: "Paid a yfed a dwr, maer gwerthin wedi cachu un a for." This means: ďDonít drink the water the cows have dumped into it." The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English." The Welsh farmer says: "Use two hands, they hold more!"
Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog."

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A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..." " "Fred," she answered. "I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?" "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over." "Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried. "Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Baronet Sir Benjamin Slade, Somerset, England October 7, 2007 - Somerset, UK - Ananova Blue bird An aristocrat claims a peacock caused £4,000 damage to a blue Lexus car - by trying to have sex with it. Baronet Sir Benjamin Slade has put in a claim to insurers to cover the damage to his employee's car, reports the Daily Telegraph. He has also put up warning signs at Maunsel House, in Somerset, after the "peacock blue" Lexus was scratched and dented by the amorous bird. The incident proves the bird is gay, according to Sir Benjamin, because peahens are brown and only males are blue. He says the male damaged the car because it looked like "another peacock boy". "He attacked the panels so hard that the car needs a total respray," he said. "The insurers, Lloyd's of London, are not very happy about it. They've had claims for all sorts of things like lions biting people. "But never have they heard of a peacock sexually attacking a car before." He added: "I've had to ban peacock blue Lexus cars from the car park." Sir Benjamin Slade previously attracted attention when he sent out advertisements seeking an heir for his estate so that he could live in a council (Social Assistance) house instead.
Thanks to Rita for this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Noella Re: AOL Malfunction Dear Webby, I tried forwarding the ezine to and also to my own aol address. It came back for both addresses. Makes me wonder what else I missed when I was with AOL. Noella Dear Noella Probably a lot. We have a few clients who send in hlep requests with an AOL return address. There is no point wasting much time to figure out their problem, since my reply will bounce anyway. I usually just send a quick token reply to see if their mail works. When I get the bounce, I'm glad I hadn't wasted a lot of time. I can't really get mad at the poor dummies, since they probably suffer from the insane delusion that AOL mail works reliably. Have FUN!
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: The physics professor, checking to see how many people had actually read the assignment, asked "What are the two types of light?" The lab fell quiet until a small voice came from the back of the room, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?"

Deeli's Kudos October 10, 2007 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - CBS A family recovered their mother's lost wedding rings after searching through nearly a thousand bags of trash at a suburban landfill. Susan Myers, 83, of Downingtown, lost the jewelry at Paoli Hospital, where she was taken Sept. 29 after collapsing at her husband's funeral. Her family had removed the rings, a pearl bracelet and a 50th anniversary ring in the emergency room and placed them in a rubber glove tied with a knot. The glove was later misplaced, then mistakenly thrown away. Frantic searches the next day eventually led the family to Frank Dabney, the hospital employee who emptied the trash from Myers' room. He told them their only hope was to search the landfill in Honey Brook where the hospital's trash is taken. "One in a million, is what I told them," Dabney said. "I told them, 'You only got one shot, and it's a long shot, a real long shot.'" Myers' family hired Dabney to help, and on Oct. 2 the group of six spent several hours picking through the garbage. By afternoon, Dabney had found the glove. "I could feel the pearls. I shook it and could hear the rings," Dabney said. That evening, Myers' family gave her back her jewelry. No one told her at the time where it had been, but she knows now. "I believe it was my dad, between heaven and earth, watching over his family, giving us something to work on rather than grieving," said Jeff Myers, one of her sons. "Without him, this miracle never would have happened." ... 6083.shtml

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Making Saving a Part of Your Budget Make saving a fixed part of your budget. Determine a reasonable amount of money each month and have it automatically deposited into a savings account. It is best if this account is entirely separate so you can "forget" about it until you need it. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A man was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the newspaper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives" His wife said, "Why, thank you, dear!"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He dropped in a coin and eagerly read the results. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely fantastic lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Heroes of the Old West
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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