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Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  October 21, 2007

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. --- Arthur Miller A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. --- John Ciardi
Thanks to the folks from Erie for this report: I am not sure if you all heard about this case in the news... but you should read the entire article. -Tragic Local Courtroom Drama Plays Out in Omaha- Omaha, NE (AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Douglas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his Aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his Grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS, whom the boy firmly believes are NOT CAPABLE OF BEATING ANYONE!
A woman in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Fifteen years later, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She said, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee."

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The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years". Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tajuan Bullock, 33, of Montgomery, Alabama Another Dumb Burglar October 18, 2007 - Montgomery, Alabama - AP A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears. "Tears just rolled down my face as I walked in and saw everything gone and piles of trash all over my home," she said. Adrian McKinnon sent his wife to see her sister while he inspected the piles left behind. As he walked back into the sunroom, a man walked through the back door straight into him, Tiffany McKinnon told the Montgomery Advertiser in a story Thursday. "My husband Adrian caught the thief red-handed in our home," she said. "And what is even crazier, the man even had my husband's hat sitting right on his head." Adrian McKinnon held the suspect, 33-year-old Tajuan Bullock, at gunpoint and told him to sit on the floor until he decided what to do. "We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabinets onto the floor," Tiffany McKinnon said. When police arrived, Bullock complained about being forced to clean the home at gunpoint. "This man had the nerve to raise sand about us making him clean up the mess he made in my house," she said. "The police officer laughed at him when he complained and said anybody else would have shot him dead." Capt. Huey Thornton, a police spokesman, said police arrested Bullock at 2 p.m. Tuesday on burglary and theft charges. He was being held in the Montgomery County Detention Facility on a $30,000 bond.

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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Grandma Buttercup Re: WiFi Problem Hi Webby I would like to offer my advice to the person having trouble with the wifi in hotels. I too had that problem and I travel quite a bit, until I called the technician for the wifi service. I have a Sony Vaio and did not know there is a tiny button on the side front that has to be turned on for wifi to work. Haven't had a problem since. Grandma Buttercup Thanks Grandma Buttercup! Let's hope that will do the trick for Nofries! Have FUN! DearWebby

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The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied....

Deeli's Kudos October 19, 2007 - Wales, UK - WSBTV The supermarket may provide something that can help surgical wounds heal, according to a new review. Researchers from the North West Wales National Health Service Trust say that patients should ask their doctors about putting honey on wounds to speed healing and fight infection. Dr. Fasal Rauf Khan said honey was an ancient treatment for wound healing, and that it never spoils. But when effective antibiotics came into use in the 1940s, honey was dropped. "Honey has a number of properties that make it effective against bacterial growth, including its high sugar content, low moisture content, gluconic acid -- which creates an acidic environment -- and hydrogen peroxide. It has also been shown to reduce inflammation and swelling," he said. Researchers have also reported that applying honey can be used to reduce amputation rates among diabetes patients. Studies have suggested that honey should be applied at regular intervals, from hourly to twice daily and that wounds can become sterile in three to 10 days. "It is probably even more useful for healing the wounds left by laparoscopic surgery to remove cancers," Khan said. He also said honey could gain favor because of concerns about pathogens gaining resistance to antibiotics.

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Daily tip from Costume: Bag Of Garbage Cut holes in the bottom of a large garbage bag for legs and two holes in the side of the bag for arms. Your head will stick out the top of the bag. Fill it with crumpled newspaper until it looks like a full garbage bag and tape it closed Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".

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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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