Dear Webby: Assign sounds to events 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  October 25, 2007

Wear something red tomorrow to show your support for the troops!

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. --- Don Marquis Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. --- Jonathan Winters
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."
Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway? Man: Over there. He's my brother-in-law.

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Two Jews had businesses on the same street. One had customers coming and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally, Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE." Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since he seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in my window for almost eight months. If I took it down, I would go out of business." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Priest Manuel Raul Ortega in Monterrey, Mexico Not a shining example! October 12, 2007 - Monterrey, Mexico - Reuters A Mexican priest briefly ended up behind bars after punching a policemen who caught him driving drunkenly through the streets of the northern city of Monterrey. Priest Manuel Raul Ortega, who was not wearing clerical dress but was clutching a prayer book when captured, launched himself at the traffic cop who pulled him over earlier this week. "The individual became very violent because they were going to tow away his car. He attacked a policeman and was taken away," said transit department spokesman Hector Lozano on Thursday. Ortega's papers identified him as a priest. He was released a few hours after his arrest after paying the fines for his offenses. ... _priest_dc
Thanks to JRC for sending this picture titled "Newfie Cab". Howeverr, wit a haxent like tat, I tink the driverr of tat cab is a Quebecois, not a Newfie.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Daniel Re: Assigning Sounds to events hello my friend, there used to be a program that let you choose what sounds you wanted to add to your " program events " it had explosions,rifle shots,etc,etc,etc. do you know the name of it ? thanks, daniel, Dear Daniel Go into Control Panel Sounds and Audio Sounds In there you can assign any sounds you want to any event you want. There are tons of sounds included, and you can also use additional ones from your own collection. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice But fart just one time...

Deeli's Kudos October 24, 2007 - World - Gimundo "Panties For Peace Movement" Women all over the planet have found a unique tool to protest the brutal military regime in Myanmar (formerly Burma). Their secret weapon? Underwear. Thongs, polka-dots, or Granny panties, with tags from Target or Victoria's Secret the style and brand don't matter one bit. According to the UK's Daily Mail, the superstitious leaders of the military junta in Myanmar believe that any physical contact with a pair of women's panties will "rob them of their power." So, a protest group called Lanna Action for Burma has banded together with the aim of getting women from every nation to send some of their unmentionables to the Myanmar embassies within their home countries. The name of the mission is, of course, "Panties for Peace." And while the mailbags full of lacy delicates may not flat-out end the fighting, it serves as "an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture," activist Liz Hilton told the Daily Mail. If you want to join in the panty protest, just pick up a pair or two and visit for details. Learn more. (Daily Mail) ... _to_Peace?

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A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: 99 and 44 100s % Pure
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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