Dear Webby: Why not AOL? 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  October 27, 2007

If you command wisely, you'll be obeyed cheerfully. --- Thomas Fuller Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today. --James Dean
Thanks to LLLido for this story: John bought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately. "My goodness", said Peter, "and how long have you been married?" "22 years", replied John. "You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years." "Don't be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."
Thanks to Sandie for this story: One October, my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had only gone a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign that read, "Ice: 10 Miles." Five miles farther on, there was another sign that said, "Ice: 5 Miles." The next one read, "Ice: 1/2 Mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We finally came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery store and it said, "Ice: 75 Cents."

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Thanks to Connie for this story: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a shoplifting drunk in Kukwonago, Wisconsin Fell off the wagon October 25, 2007 - Kukwonago, Wisconsin - AP A man told police he couldn't help himself when he took seven bottles of a spiked lemonade drink from the shelf at a Wal-Mart Supercenter and drank them in the liquor aisle. Police Chief Fred Winchowky said the 43-year-old town man claimed he was a recovering alcoholic and had been dry for 16 months before he went to the store October 14th with his wife, who was not aware of what he was doing. "He went down that aisle and he said 'I just couldn't control myself,'" Winchowky said. "He stated he was upset he broke his 16-month streak and he didn't know how he was going to tell his wife." The chief said security video caught the man drinking the 12-ounce bottles of Jack Daniels Lynchburg Lemonade over a 15-minute period. He placed the empty bottles back on the shelf. Confronted by a store official, he first denied it but smelled of intoxicants, Winchowky said. The man was cited for retail theft. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/ ... ource=mypi
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Mission Viejo Fires
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Matt Re: Why not AOL Dear Webby I have started a business and a good friend suggested that I dump my AOL address like it was hot coals, not just a hot potato, and that I should ask you why. He said he was not capable of being diplomatic on that topic. So, what's the story? Matt Dear Matt I too find it very difficult to be diplomatic on that topic. AOL email is absolutely unreliable, because you never know from one day to the next whom they are going to block. If they bounce your phone bill a month before your long planned special sale, you could get extremely annoyed. Some companies flat out refuse to do business with you, if you don't have a reliable address. An AOL address is not considered a reliable address. I realize that there are a handful of good people on AOL, but it's AOL's postmaster and the 9 Million other AOLers, who give them a bad name. When you show up with an AOL address, don't expect any respect. Expect to hear snickering behind your back. Some people know that AOL is bad for them, but they like the warm feeling they get from being part of the AOL community, just like some babies enjoy the warm feeling they get from messing their diapers. If you are addicted to that warm feeling, get a reliable address on the side for anything that is really important or related to your business. The most respect you get, of course, with an address based on your business web site. If you don't have one yet, get a gmail address. People know it is an assumed screen alias, but because gmail is reliable, they respect it. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A wife was getting tired of her husband golfing every Saturday, so she decided to go with him to see what the attraction was. His first drive of the day went into the rough, then his second shot bounced across the fairway into the lake. After retrieving his ball, his third shot wasn't any better. It went back across the fairway into the rough again. After taking several more shots to finally reach the green, he turned to his wife and said, "And you thought I was having a good time."

Deeli's Kudos man was convicted of trying to rob a west Georgia bank after a jury discovered the impression of a holdup note that the prosecution was unaware of. Darius K. Heard, 29, of Fayetteville was sentenced Thursday to 16 years in prison for attempted robbery, fleeing officers and reckless driving. A co-defendant, Reamon D. Mapp, 25, of Austell, was s entenced to 10 years after pleading guilty to attempted robbery, fleeing officers and possession of cocaine. Heard was convicted of an April 11 robbery attempt at the RBC Centura bank in Hogansville after jurors at his trial found the outline of a holdup note pressed into the blank pages of a notebook that was seized from the car in which he and Mapp were arrested. When the two were stopped after a high-speed chase, police found two partially written notes on the vehicle's center console. One read, "This is a robbery so don't panic because if you do you could put," and stopped in mid-sentence. The other note said, "This." A notebook on the floorboard contained only blank pages, but when jurors examined it during deliberations they could see indentations of a complete holdup note. http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/ ... _1012.html

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at ten21empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beer For Slugs Bury a plastic container in the ground near plants that you want to protect from slugs so that the rim of the container is at ground level. Then pour some beer, the cheaper the better, into the container. In no time, you will start to see slugs meeting their end in the beer. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, Do you have to tell it all? Where do you get the glaring right To make my clothes look just too tight? I think I'm fine but I can see you won't co-operate with me; The way you let the shadows play, You'd think my hair was getting grey What's that, you say? A double chin? No, that's the way the light comes in; If you persist in peering so, You'll confiscate my facial glow, And then if you're not hanging straight, You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight; I'm really quite upset with you, For giving this distorted view; I hate you being smug and wise... O, look what's happened to my thighs! I warn you now, O mirrored wall, Since we're not on speaking terms at all, If I look like this in my new jeans, You'll find yourself in smithereens!!

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Carvings of Patrick Moser
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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