Dear Webby: Anti-Virus for old versions of Windows 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  October 29, 2007

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. --- Cato the Elder Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be. --- William Hazlitt ------------------------ Sounds like poor William never had a dog! I have had dogs that showed more genuine emotion than a whole herd of politiicans. DearWebby
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive."
A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The man had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous long legged woman. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his soon-to-be rich stepmother.

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I thought I had finally found a way to convince Susan, my continually harried friend, that she needed to find ways to relax. I invited her to dinner and, while I was busy cooking, she agreed to watch my videotape on stress management and relaxation techniques. Fifteen minutes later, she came into the kitdchen and handed me the tape. "It was good," she said, "but I don't need it." "But it's a 70-minute video," I replied. "You couldn't have watched the whole thing." "Yes, I did," Susan assured me. "I put it on fast-forward." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to License Plate protesters in Beijing, China Dirty Minds? October 13, 2007 - Beijing, China - Reuters Some Beijing motorists are flushed with anger over new license plate numbers that contain the letter combination "WC", saying it gives them "unpleasant images". Along with "okay", "hello" and "bye-bye", the abbreviation for the Victorian "Water Closet", or toilet, has became one of the most well-known English expressions in China. Despite being on a jargon hitlist of Olympic organizers, who plan to replace the "WC" with the more bog-standard "toilet", it remains all-too-vivid for some of the 800 Bejing car owners issued with the initials on their license plates. Authorities, however, were not sympathetic. "We will not change our policy," a policeman in charge of issuing license plates said. English initials on car-plates have previously proved to be problematic in China, where homonyms and abbreviations occasionally have unexpected associations in Mandarin. ... a4560.html
Thanks to Sandie for these pictures of her powderpuff bush:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cathi Re: Anti Virus for ME Dear Webby, I have Windows Me on my computer. It's old and cannot handle any more recent version. Now it turns out that McAfee no longer updates the virus protection for it. Do you you have any suggestions? I don't want to buy a new computer and I'd still like to be able to go online safely. Cathi Dear Cathi Try Avast Home Have FUN! DearWebby

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Sherry the secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you" "Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile....."

Deeli's Kudos October 13, 2007 - Beijing, China - AP A tiger species thought to be extinct in the wild for more than two decades has been photographed by a farmer in northwest China, state media reports. The South China tiger, an endangered tiger subspecies believed to have died out in the wild, was spotted in a mountainous area, the China Daily said. The tiger was photographed by a farmer on Oct. 3. Experts confirmed that it was a young South China tiger, the newspaper quoted Shaanxi Forestry Administration Bureau Deputy Director Zhu Julong as saying. "After careful examination, experts confirmed the authenticity of the photos. That means the tiger has been found again after more than 20 years," Zhu said. The South China tiger is one of the world's smallest and the only tiger subspecies native to China's central and southern areas, the official Xinhua News Agency said. There are 68 of the tigers in zoos in China, the newspaper said. ... rare_tiger

There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Frugal Toys - Deck of Cards Kids can play Go Fish, War, Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, and other simple games. Cards can also be used to build card houses or to do magic tricks. Check out a book of card games at the library and kids can entertain themselves for hours. Keep in mind that SOME kids absolutely do not like cards. I remember building one card house, and then sneaking off to the basement and building bird houses from cut ends of boards I had gotten from a nearby construction site. From then on I knew that, whenever the cards came out, I could build anything I wanted, and they would not bother me for hours. DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play, he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time comes. The curtain goes up, the actor walks onto the stage, and with great passion delivers the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress." The theatre erupts. The audience is screaming with laughter, but the director is steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cries. "You have ruined me!" The actor is bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" "No!" screams the director. "You forgot the rose!"

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Samhain, A Celtic Tradition
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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