Dear Webby: is Avast good enough? 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  Nov 1, 2007

Wear something red tomorrow to show your support for the troops!


Genius without education is like silver in the mine. --- Benjamin Franklin: A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol. --- Thomas Blackburn We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." --- Anais Nin
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. "I'm not voting for any of the candidates," the first man said. "I don't know any of them." "I feel the same way," the second man said. "Only I know them all."

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It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Bob Fugghauer." Upset, the teacher said very loudly, "THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASS THIS YEAR, now Bob; tell me your real name!" The kid said, "No, really teacher, it is Bob Fugghauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!" Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall, but accidentally went to the fifth grade classroom, and knocked on classroom door. The fifth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class, "Do you have Fugghauer in here?" "Heck no!" replied a little kid from the back row, "We don't even get a dang cookie break!" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marius Bogdan Dinu, 21, Ronald Gavril, 21, and Gabriel Julian Stan, 20, from Romania Career Limiting Move October 29, 2007 - Reuters Three Romanian boxers have been given life bans after they were caught shoplifting in a plush Chicago department store during the world amateur championships. Marius Bogdan Dinu, 21, Ronald Gavril, 21, and Gabriel Julian Stan, 20, were caught red-handed Friday and have already been sent home, the Amateur International Boxing Association (AIBA) said in a statement. "This misbehavior tarnishes the image and reputation of AIBA and the sport of boxing," AIBA president Wu Ching-kuo said. "The measures AIBA has taken are a strong illustration of the new AIBA and its zero tolerance for misbehavior inside or outside of the ring." Romania's boxing chief Rudel Obreja has already issued a public apology for the incident, the AIBA said. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/0710 ... ia_bans_dc
Thanks to Sandie for this picture Scissor Spider
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jaye Re: Free Virus Scan Dear Webby, Webby, The free Virus scan you had in your column yesterday is that also for Windows XP? And does it thouroughly do a scan...If so why do you use and recommend McAfee? I have McAfee and yes it is great but certainly would like to use the free one if possible being on limited income. Thanks for a wonderful,knowledgeable web page. Jaye Dear Jaye Yes, sure Avast works for XP. It's not professional grade high security like McAfee, but then neither is the MSN, that you use. For casual use, it's probably quite good enough Have FUN! DearWebby

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The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship.

Deeli's Kudos October 24, 2007 - Mansfield, Ohio - AP Karen and Mark Cline were teenagers when they got married and didn't have $150 to pay a photographer for their wedding photos. But now they've got the pictures, just in time for their 27th anniversary on Thursday. Their photographer located Karen Cline last week at the diner where she works and surprised her with a photo album. About a month ago, I was just cleaning out some of my old things and I found it,'' said photographer Jim Wagner, who's now 80. ``I knew she didn't have any money back then, and I just thought she might like to have it.'' It was too much for Karen Cline. ``I just stood there and cried and cried and hugged him,'' she said, tearing up again as she described their meeting. She said she was 18 at the time, and felt heartsick because she and her husband, who was 19, couldn't afford to pay Wagner. Instead, all they have had was a single photo that someone else took, of her walking down the aisle. Wagner said he was able to track down Karen Cline after running into her stepfather a few weeks ago. He said she immediately wrote him a check for $150. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/custom ... 2675.story

The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven11empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Change Your Commuting Habits If at all possible, change your work start time to avoid gridlock. Stop and go traffic hurts your gas mileage. Try to arrange car pools with co-workers to share the cost of commuting to work. Walk, bike or use public transportation to your intended location whenever possible. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly Contests ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a wanker..."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Archimedes' Screw
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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