Dear Webby: Marked bad by AOL 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  Nov 3, 2007

What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity. --- J. Sidlow Baxter
Thanks to Jai for this story: Your joke about Bob Fugghauer reminded me of one from years past. A school teacher was interviewing her new students. She asked one boy what his name was. He answered "Snotty Nose Jones". She again asked him and demanded he tell her his real name, he again replied "Snotty Nose Jones". At that point the teacher exploded and said that could not be his real name, and he better tell her the truth. At that, he turned to his brother and said "come on Dookey Pants, let's go home. She's not going to believe you either." Jai...>^.^<...
Thanks to Sandie for this story: The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 a.m.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." "And who is going to give you a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife."

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Thanks to Vickey for this story: An Australian travel writer touring Canada was checking out of the Vancouver Hilton. As he paid his bill, he said to the manager, "By the way, what's with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He's been there ever since I arrived." "Oh, that's Big Chief Forget-Me-Not," said the manager. "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He is known as Big Chief Forget-Me-Not because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the slightest details of his life." The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting for his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test. "G'dye, myte!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?" "Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even looking up. Indeed, the Aussie was impressed. He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-Me-Not's great memory. (One local noted that 'How' was a more appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than 'G'dye myte.') On his return to the Vancouver Hilton 6 months later, he was surprised to see Big Chief Forget-Me-Not still sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick. "How," said the Aussie. "Scrambled," said the chief. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Swedish Mis-Informer Emailed himself to jail November 2, 2007 - Stockholm, Sweden - AFP A man in Sweden who was angry with his daughter's husband has been charged with libel for telling the FBI that the son-in-law had links to al-Qaeda, Swedish media reported on Friday. The 40-year-old son-in-law and his wife were in the process of divorcing when the husband had to travel to the United States for business. The wife didn't want him to travel since she was sick and wanted him to help care for their children, regional daily Sydsvenska Dagbladet said without disclosing the couple's names. When the husband refused to stay home, his father-in-law wrote an email to the FBI saying the son-in-law had links to al-Qaeda in Sweden and that he was travelling to the US to meet his contacts. He provided information on the flight number and date of arrival in the US. The son-in-law was arrested upon landing in Florida. He was placed in handcuffs, interrogated and placed in a cell for 11 hours before being put on a flight back to Europe, the paper said. The FBI contacted Swedish intelligence agency Saepo, which discovered that the email tipping off the FBI had been sent from the father-in-law's computer. The father-in-law has been charged with aggravated libel. He has admitted to sending the email, but said he didn't think "the authorities were so stupid that they would believe anything. But apparently they are." ... sm_offbeat
Thanks to Sandie for this picture "Beauty Berry"
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Leonarde Re: Marked Bad Dear Webby, I have to say each day you are not spam and they tranfer it over. I don't know how to get you off the spam list. Leonard Dear Leonard You are doing better than most AOLers, however, I can't help you there. Once the Humor Letter has entered the AOL server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. You will have to contact AOL support about that. Have FUN! DearWebby

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At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this?" "The truth is," replied the politician, "That she has a big mouth."

Deeli's Kudos November 1, 2007 - Stonybrook, New York - AP Money doesn't grow on trees, but it apparently does flutter like leaves in the wind. Three bystanders helped pick up $15,000 in dollar bills that flitted across a Long Island road after falling out of an armored car on Halloween, according to two volunteer police officers who helped at the scene. ''I've never seen that much money in one place,'' said one of the auxiliary officers, George Fuhr, 76. ''It was wild.'' A sack of cash apparently tumbled onto Nicolls Road Wednesday because the armored car's door wasn't completely closed. The bills burst from the bag after cars ran it over. Fuhr and his partner, Ralph Cabattente, 73, stopped when they came across the commotion and directed traffic while waiting for Suffolk County police. Fuhr said the bystanders were able to recover all but $128 of money and return it to its rightful owners. ... ly-air.htm

In Pennsylvania Station in New york the gateman was having difficulty with a pair of soldiers. Hearing the commotion,a young lieutenant hastened to the scene. "What's the matter here?" he asked. "These two soldiers," complained the railroad employee, "insist on going through the gate without tickets." "I'll handle this, said officer. Turning to the soldiers, he commanded, "Forward march!" he led them through the gate and onto the train. "All right," he advised the G.I's, "at ease!" "Say, Lieutenant, thanks a lot," said one of the soldiers. He shrugged, "Don't mention it. I don't have a ticket either.

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A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then they'll see that I was right."

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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby
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