Dear Webby: Yahoo mail problems 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  Nov 4, 2007

The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously. --- Nicholas Butler A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. --- G. Gordon Liddy
An old farmer named Paul had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; big grill next to picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As Paul came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He coughed and made the women aware of his presence. They all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" To which Paul replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim. I only came to feed the alligator."
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?" "I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?" "Oh.. Half a pack a day." "Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees. The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?" "Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while." "Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions." The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor asks, "How do you eat?" "Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff." "Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese." The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?" "Do you want to live long?" "Yes." "Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet." The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?" "Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly. "As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None." The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?" "I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!"

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Thanks to Shayne for this story: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "Was he successful?" "Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill!" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Belmont, California City Council Extreme fanaticism October 10, 2007 - Belmont, California -AP Officials in Belmont have given final approval to a new smoking ban that is considered to be one of the toughest in the nation and includes bans on smoking in some homes. After a late push to ease some of the restrictions, the Belmont City Council voted Tuesday night to pass the anti-smoking ordinance. Prohibitions on smoking in parks and other public places will take effect in 30 days. The ordinance's most hotly contested elements -- which ban smoking inside apartments and condominiums -- won't be enforced for another 14 months. Officials said the ordinance was written so that smokers will only face enforcement if their neighbors complain. People will still be able to smoke on Belmont's streets and sidewalks as long as they are not loitering near the entrance to homes or businesses, and in parking lots and designated smoking areas.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture "Q-Tip Bush" or "Muhley Grass"
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Diane Re: Yahoo problem hey there webby, i love your paper and also having problem with receving it everyday. u r in my address book. i run with roadrunner, with warner cable. every thing was great until about 4-5 months ago then i didn't get nothing from u until 1 month ago, and still am not recieving it every day, maybe 2 times a week. my sisiter who also loves u isn't getting it at all, she signed me up. what is going on. she runs comp. serve, seems like a alot of different servers are messing up ur page. Diane Dear Diane With Yahoo, AOL and Compuserve, you got to expect that kind of unreliable mail delivery. When you wee widdle girlies gwow up and get decent email service, that problem will be history, just like messy diapers. If you want a referral to gmail, let me know and I'll generate one immediately. Gmail is free, and you can still dial up with Yahoo, AOL or Compuserve. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Thanks to great granny Vi for this Quiz: AND NOW .. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE QUIZ? A little history lesson: If you don't know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions before looking at the answers. Who said it? 1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." A. Karl Marx B. Adolph Hitler C. Joseph Stalin D. None of the above 2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared responsibility for shared prosperity." A. Lenin B. Mussolini C. Idi Amin D. None of the Above 3) "(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people." A. Nikita Khrushev B. Jose f Goebbels C. Boris Yeltsin D. None of the above 4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their order to create this common ground." A. Mao Tse Dung B. Hugo Chavez C. Kim Jong Il D. None of the above 5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed." A. Karl Marx B. Lenin C. Molotov D. None of the above 6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched." A. Pinochet B. Milosevic C. Saddam Hussein D. None of the above Answers: (1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004 (2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007 (3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005 Be afraid. Be very, very afraid! Great Granny Vi

Deeli's Kudos October 19, 2007 - San Diego, California - Gimundo This "march of the penguins" isn't quite like the one you might have seen in a movie theatre but for a group of kids at San Diego's Rady Children's Hospital, it was an even better show. These children, who are patients in the hospital's oncology ward, were too sick to attend the hospital's trip to SeaWorld this coming weekend. So, rather than let them miss out, SeaWorld came to them. Well, we're pretty sure Shamu didn't show but two emperor penguins did. The two Arctic birds had a blast waddling around the building and leading the children on a royal march down the halls of the hospital, followed by a penguin-petting session. So what if they missed out on the dolphin show? Thanks to the two friendly penguins, it sounds like these kids got an animal adventure that they'll never forget.

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I feel great! Doctor: So, you followed the instructions on the medicine I gave you? Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed. I never opened it but read those instructions every day!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Halloween Candy Candy is really cheap in the days following Halloween. Pick up some chocolate for your baking projects or for stocking stuffers. Just store the candy in the freezer until you need it. Frozen candies are also a special treat for your kids. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," said Pete, "but I wrote down Horticulturist."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at

Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Atlas of plucked instruments
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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