Dear Webby: DSL connection slowing down and dropping 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  Nov 5, 2007

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. --- Elbert Hubbard
When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."
Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you to adjust him to get the movie channel."

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Childrens' Views No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it always before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a dumpster. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brano Banjeglav, 38, of Cetinje, Montenegro Buried Phone October 25, 2007 - Montenegrin, Serbia - Ananova The family of a Montenegrin man whose dying wish was to be buried with his mobile phone are to dig him up again after discovering they had forgotten the SIM card. Arso Banjeglav, 67, spent hours every day chatting to pals on his beloved mobile, and told his son Brano that when he died he wanted it put in his coffin. But, after the funeral in the central Montenegrin town of Cetinje, they discovered his grandson, who was playing with the device, had taken out the SIM card. Brano Banjeglav, 38, said: "We put the phone in the coffin as he wanted, but my 10-year-old son had been playing with it and had taken the card out without my knowledge. "So now we have got to dig him up again to put it in the phone." http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2568672.html?menu=
Thanks to Cookie for this picture
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Barb Re: DSL speed dropping Dear Webby At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL provider as I have at work, but there the connection never drops. At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off. Is there a setting I should check and change? Thanks Barb Dear Barb Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are not really using your connection while you leisurely compose a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it. They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when you are ready to send that email. You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature to keep the connection open, and download three different pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks up to over 2 MB within a few seconds. You will then be able to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Deeli's Kudos November 2, 2007 - Atherton, Australia - Ananova A rescued doberman repaid his new owners by saving their toddler daughter from a deadly snake. The dog, called Khan, picked up 17-month-old Charlotte Svillicic in his teeth and threw her over his shoulder. Khan took the bite from the king brown, the world's third most venomous snake, instead. The dog, rescued from an animal shelter four days earlier, leapt into action as the snake edged closer to Charlotte in her garden in Atherton near Cairns, Australia. Charlotte's mum Catherine said: "He saved her life by risking his own. If I had not seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed it. "He grabbed her by the back of the nappy and threw her over his shoulder more than a metre, like she was a rag doll." Khan received a shot of antivenom from a vet and the family nursed him through the night. He has since made a full recovery. http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2579069.html?menu=

I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven11empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Treat Credit Like Cash Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Recipes for Calorie counters
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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