Dear Webby: AdAware conflict ? 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  Nov 8, 2007

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. --Abraham Lincoln Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it. --- Irving Berlin
The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Alice, deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends, waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. Here's the call: Alice: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Alice is unable to make it to school today because she is ill." Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?" Alice: "This is my mother...."
Paul and Judy took Jared for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. When Paul left to buy popcorn, Jared piped up, "Mom, what's that long thing on the elephant?" "That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, not that." "Oh, that's the elephant's tail." "No, Mom. Down underneath." Judy blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing." Pretty soon Paul returned, and Judy went off to get a soda. As soon as she had left Jared repeated his question. "That's the elephant's trunk, son." "Dad, I know what an elephant's trunk is. The thing at the other end." "Oh, that's the elephant's tail." "No. Down there." Paul took a good look and explained, "That's the elephant's penis." "Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?" Paul took a deep breath and replied, "Son, that sounds like I must have spoiled your mother."

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A woman was walking down the street when she was stopped by a man who was carrying out a survey. "Excuse me, Madam, we're doing a survey on peoples' attitudes towards sex." "Really!" said the woman smiling. "Could you please tell me what you think of sex on the television?" "Well," replied the woman, "I think it's extremely uncomfortable, especially when you got one of the newer models, that are much wider than deep." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Glass, 45, of Buffalo, NY Crime pays, for the tipster November 6, 2007 - Buffalo, New York - AP What man taketh away, modern technology helps giveth back. The Subway sandwich shop at the True Bethel Baptist Church in Buffalo was robbed at gunpoint on Friday night, but the crime was recorded on the store's surveillance video. During Sunday church services, Rev. Darius Pridgen gave a sermon about the harm people do to one another. Pridgen included footage from the robbery and it was showed on two large video screens. His sermon also offered a $3,000 reward for the arrest of the suspect. Within minutes after the service ended, four anonymous tips identifying the robber were received. A few hours later, police arrested David Glass, 45, and charged him with robbery and petit larceny. Pridgen said he offered the reward because he wants to show his community that crime pays, but not for the criminal. http://www.happynews.com/news/1162007/s ... arrest.htm
Thanks to Joan for this picture One of the daily visitors to Joan's water trough
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Crap Cleaner and Ad Aware Webby, I run Ad-aware once a week. If I install Crap Cleaner will I have a problem? Seem like some programs are not compatible with it. Thanks- you are always helpful!!! Carolyn Dear Carolyn Should be no problem at all. They go after totally different things and Crap Cleaner exits cleanly after doing it's work. Have FUN! DearWebby

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The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America" The American says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you I will do." The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek." The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future."

Deeli's Kudos Ozzy Osbourne has made a career out of thumbing his nose (and sometimes other appendages) at the law. The heavy-metal rocker has urinated on the Alamo, attempted to strangle his wife, and bitten the heads off a live bat and dove. At a Fargo, N.D., concert earlier this week, the law bit back. Cass County (N.D.) Sheriff Paul D. Laney used Ozbourne's name in a sting operation to catch local fugitives. Laney planned an Osbourne pre-show concert party, offering the same perks in the rocker's "official" VIP tour packages, and mailed invites to 40 unsuspecting citizens under the alias "PDL Productions." When the Ozzy fans showed up at the bash, Laney promptly handcuffed and arrested them on various outstanding warrants. He then held a televised press conference to congratulate himself on the successful sting operation. "Why did we do this? The criminals are creative, so we had to get creative too,'' Said Laney. "They give us fake addresses, fake phone numbers, sometimes their families cover for them, sometimes their employees cover for them." Laney and his deputies set up the phony pre-party with money seized from drug dealers. "We used drug money to lure criminals to justice. How poetic is that?" he quipped. http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=3 ... amp;page=1

A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother, he's 22, and he's half nuts."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven1T1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Mashed Potatoes Ahead I make mashed potatoes a day or two before Thanksgiving. I just make them as usual, put them in a casserole dish and refrigerate. Then on Thanksgiving, I pull them out and let set to room temperature and microwave to warm them up at the last minute. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" "Robberies in the parking lot."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Bling-H2O
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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