Memorial Day / Veterans Day 


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Good Morning, ! Sunday, Nov 11, 2007 Remembrance Day / Veterans Day A pittance of time
But the freedom that they fought for, and the country grand they wrought for, Is their monument to-day, and for aye. --- Thomas Dunn English It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. --- Dick Cheney This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. --- Elmer Davis

A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and screamed: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut up!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"
Army Medical Care An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," said the Major. He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," barked the Major. He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "F ive minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"

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The Installation Commander and his wife were out having dinner at the officers club a good-looking blonde came over and open-mouth kissed the husband right in front of the wife and said "I'll see you tomorrow for a nooner right sweetie?" And walked away. The wife couldn't believe her eyes, "Who was that?" She demanded. He replied: "My mistress" The wife then told her husband she wanted a divorce. "That's fine," Said the base commander. "But that means no more shopping at the commissary and base exchange, no more assignments in Europe, and you'll no longer be president of the Officer's Wives Club, and won't be able to lord it over the other wives." At that moment in walked a colonel with a woman on his arm. When the wife asked who the woman with the colonel was the base commander said, "That's Peter's mistress" The wife looked back at colonel and his mistress and grinned, "Ours is prettier." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a flasher in Duisburg, Germany Homesick for jail November 10, 2007 - Berlin, Germany - Reuters A German flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said Thursday. "The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again," said a spokesman for the court in the western city of Duisburg. "It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art." The 60-year-old was in court to appeal against his conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girl's soccer match and striking a range of "body builder poses," the spokesman said. State prosecutors filed fresh charges of indecent behavior against the man after the court incident. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/0711 ... ny_nude_dc

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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lori Re: Hi again Webby, thanks for answering my question about Maxthon browser. Now I have another question for you. My daughter has a windows 98, and it has been infected with clickspring and OuterInfo. I cannot get rid of it this time. I have run all the cleaners, adaware,spybot, and other spyware removers, done virus scans. I cannot reformat, as she does not have her disc. I found a program on Computer Geeks that is supposed to remove it, but her anti-virus program pops up saying file infected with clickspring, and it won't let me open it to run the clean-up. Do you have any suggestions on how to remove this pesky annoyance? Thanks so much, love your letter--first thing I read each day. Coffee and Webby--great start to my day! Thank you. Lori Dear Lori The best information that I could find about that spyware is at http://www.spywareremove.com/removeClickSpring.html Have FUN! DearWebby

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Dear Ma and Pa: Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.( but am getting so I like to sleep late. All you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. The guys have to shave, but they say it is not bad in warm water, and after I thumped a few of them, they don't tell nobody about why I don't need to shave. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is a casual stroll about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Kernels. and Generals just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why, the bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it, you don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer and Mary to hurry and join before others get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Pat

Deeli's Kudos November 9, 2007 - New York - Reuters A tale of online love inspired usually cynical New Yorkers this week to help a young man find the girl of his dreams after he spotted her on a crowded subway train. For Web designer Patrick Moberg, 21, from Brooklyn, it was love at first sight when he locked eyes with a rosy-cheeked woman while riding in Manhattan on Sunday night. She was writing in her journal. The train was so full that he lost her in the crowd when they both got off, so he set up a Web site dedicated to finding the mystery woman -- www.nygirlofmydreams.com. He drew a picture of the girl, who was wearing blue shorts, blue tights, and a red flower in her hair, and posted his cell phone number, e-mail address and an appeal for help finding her. It worked. Within hours Moberg's inbox was overflowing with e-mails and his phone ringing non-stop. He told the New York Post that he even received e-mails offering him love. "Some people said I'm not the girl but you're so adorable, pick me instead." Tuesday night a friend of the woman contacted him and sent him a picture so he could confirm her identity. "Found Her! Seriously!" a notice on his Web site said. "We've been put in touch with one another and we'll see what happens." http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/0711 ... _subway_dc

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven1T1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Great Comeback This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. This is a recount of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who's about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his military installation. (Note: While this has been presented as a "true story" for several years, some people dispute that it actually happened). FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they ever touch a firearm." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended.

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Memorial Day
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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