Dear Webby: Nigerian Scam 

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Good Morning, ! Monday, Nov 12, 2007
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. --- E. B. White
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter. "My mother-in-law"
Thanks to Kenneth for this excerpt from History: 1. The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for allies. 2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress) 3. At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was Called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". He had wanted to be friends with the US, but as a tea-totaler, he was no match for Churchill in persuading the US government who to side with. 4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions your chance of being killed was 71%. 5. Generally speaking there was no such thing as an average fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance Japanese ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while a passenger on a cargo plane. 6. It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a mistake. Tracers had different ballistics so (at long range) if your tracers were hitting the target 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction. Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely not something you wanted to tell the enemy. Units that stopped using tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down. 7. When allied armies reached the Rhine the first thing men did was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it) and Gen. Patton (who had himself photographed in the act). 8. German Me-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York but never did. 9. German submarine U-120 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet. 10. Among the first "Germans" captured at Normandy were several Koreans. They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the German Army until they were captured by the US Army. AND I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST... 11. Following a massive naval bombardment 35, 000 US and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska. 21 troops were killed in the firefight. It would have been worse if there had been any Japanese on the island. Kenneth

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A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the level about this." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 42 year old Gilford, new Hampshire woman Homesick for jail November 8, 2007 - Gilford, New Hampshire- AP A woman wearing a wedding dress and parked beside a pond drove into the water Wednesday after officers tried to take a bag of marijuana from her, police said. When the state fish and game conservation officers and a nearby resident tried to rescue the woman from her sinking sport-utility vehicle, she bit the neighbour on the arm, authorities said. The 42-year-old woman was eventually taken to shore, then to a hospital, police said. It was not immediately known whether she was hurt or what her condition was. The conservation officers were checking on the woman, who was parked alone by Saltmarsh Pond in eastern New Hampshire. She became upset and reached for a bag of marijuana, police said. When one of the officers tried to grab the bag, the woman drove off, speeding around the parking lot and then into the water. She will be charged with reckless conduct, simple assault, driving after suspension and transporting a controlled drug. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/0711 ... ck_in_pond
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eric Re: Nigerian Scams Dear Webby I can't believe that people are still falling for these Nigerian Scams. Do you recommend forwarding them to the FTC as well as getting them over to Spam Cop? Eric Dear Eric They still fall for AOL too. And Hillary. FTC is a total waste of time. They pick one or two celebrity cases a year, and with all the other complaints they just make pretty graphs. SpamCop is effective, in that they complain to the ISP of the sender. Some ISPs stomp on them. Have FUN! DearWebby

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On their cross-country road trip, a couple stopped for lunch at a roadside cafe in the southwest. They sat down at the counter and ordered coffee. While they were looking at the menu, a cowboy approached the counter, swung his long leg over the stool beside them and farted loudly. The tourist jump up and cried, "Sir, how dare you fart like that so rudely - before my wife!" The cowboy immediately jumped off the stool, bowed and tipped his stetson toward the woman. "Shucks, ma'am, I'm awfully sorry," he said. "But how was I supposed to know we was taking turns"

Deeli's Kudos November 9, 2007 - Vancouver, British Columbia - Canadian Press The B.C. Supreme Court has come down on the side of skinny dippers in Vancouver. Justice Paul Williamson has quashed a Surrey council decision to stop renting a wave pool to the Surrey Skinnydippers club for its private events. The matter dates back to 2003, when council cancelled a year-old rental contract with the club citing various concerns, all of which the judge termed "patently unreasonable." The court ruling found council had overstepped its authority when it tried to strengthen Criminal Code provisions against public nudity by treating a private swimming party as a public event. http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articl ... 09-ON.html

Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven1T1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money With a Name Drawing Instead of spending hundreds of dollars, our family drew the number of names to match how many we have in our family. We are limiting the expenditure to $25 per person. This will make the holidays much less stressful, more personal and a lot more economical. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!"

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Global Incident Map
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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