Dear Webby: Re-using desktop background 

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Good Morning, ! Sunday, Nov 18, 2007
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. --- Clarence Darrow It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. --- Steven Wright
Thanks to Deeli for this one: A technology buff spent a good long while puzzling over the overly-vague ad in 'Popular Engineering' for a ball-bearing mousetrap. He tried to figure out how it could possibly work, then finally gave up thinking and just sent away for one. A week later, a tomcat arrived via parcel post.
An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with an emergency. "Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and swallowed it. What should I do?" "Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor. "In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks. "I'm using a pencil."

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A Sunday School teacher is telling her class the story of Jonah and the whale. The childrenís eyes get bigger and bigger as she tells them that Jonah was swallowed by the whale and sat in its stomach for three days and three nights before God answered his prayer and the whale expelled Jonah onto dry land. When she finishes the story the teacher asks, "Now children, what does this story teach us?" There's a long pause. Finally, a six-year-old boy exclaims: "You can't keep a good man down!" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to drunk father and son in Clio, Michigan Bad Example November 15, 2007 - Clio, Michigan - AP A police officer checking on a truck that got stuck in the mud at a city park was startled to find a 13-year-old boy behind the wheel. The officer also was surprised that the boy appeared to be drunk. So did the teen's father, who was riding in the front seat. He told police that he had turned over the driving duties to his son because he'd had too much to drink. Open containers of beer and liquor were found in the vehicle, said Clio Police Chief James McLellan. "(The boy) even said he didn't want to drive because he was too drunk," McLellan told The Flint Journal for a story published Thursday. The father, 41, is facing several misdemeanor counts, including child endangerment, allowing an intoxicated person to drive his vehicle and allowing an unlicensed minor to drive, police said. The boy has been petitioned into juvenile court on charges that include driving while intoxicated, police said. The pair were arrested the night of November 8. They apparently were trying to get home when they turned into the park to turn around. The truck rolled off the pavement and became stuck in the muddy soil.
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: High speed unloading in Nazki Valley, BC
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Re-using desktop background Webby, I found a pretty fall picture and made it my desktop picture. I do not remember where I found it. How can I save it when I get ready to put a winter scene on my desktop. (I have a laptop) Thanks P.S. As always, I sure enjoy your newsletter!!! Carolyn/Indiana Dear Carolyn Look in MyPictures I would be wiling to bet that you saved it to there, and that Windows is serving it to the desktop from there. You can even make a screen saver from the pictures that you saved to MyPictures. Just move the ones that are not suitable to a different folder. When you select "SlideShow" as your screen saver, it uses the pictures in that folder. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife."

Deeli's Kudos November 12, 2007 - New Castle, Indiana - AP A car wash change machine paid off like a Las Vegas slot for one customer, but he turned over his booty to police. Eldon McCammack put a dollar in the change machine Saturday at the Trojan Car Wash in this city about 65 kilometres east of Indianapolis. In return, he got 1,042 quarters, or $260.50. McCammack, 71, said he first grabbed a top from a trash can to catch the coins. Another customer found a plastic container for the overflow. McCammack brought the jackpot to the police station, where officers counted the quarters, put them in an evidence locker and called the car wash's owner. McCammack went back later and washed his car. ... 33-ap.html

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Roasting Pumpkin Seeds When carving pumpkins for pie, don't throw out the seeds! Wash off the gooey stuff, spread on a cookie sheet, sprinkle with Lawry's (seasoning) salt and bake at 375 degrees F for about 10 minutes. Makes a great snack. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A painter, whitewashing the inner walls of a country outhouse, had the misfortune to fall through the opening and land in the muck at the bottom. He shouted, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" at the top of his lungs. The local fire department responded with alacrity, sirens roaring as they approached the privy. "Where's the fire?" called the chief. "No fire," replied the painter as they pulled him out of the hole. "But if I had yelled, '****! ****! ****!', who would have rescued me?"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Great Landscapes
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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