Dear Webby: Keyboard / Mouse / Monitor Switch 

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Good Morning, ! Wednesday, Nov 28, 2007
Give every man thy ear but few thy voice. --- William Shakespeare
By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 114 times."
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I wonder then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

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You will need this joke tomorrow morning: A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator there was a lady already inside and she greeted him by saying "T-G-I-F" He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T". She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T". The lady was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T". The lady finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, T-hank G-oodness I-ts F-riday; get it?" The man answered, "S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday". Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kmart shoppers in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin More greed than sense November 27, 2007 - Wauwatosa, Wisconsin - IBS A weekend melee at a Kmart store in Wauwatosa was started by a computer glitch. The store was running a promotion to give away $10 to anyone applying for its credit card, but the computer glitch led to everyone's application being approved, giving up to $4,000 in instant credit to anyone who applied, even if they shouldn't have qualified. Once word started to spread about the so-called "free money" Saturday, witnesses said, things started to go wild inside the Wauwatosa store. "They were having a big fight. Two ladies were jumping a lady over credit cards," witness Sylvester Wilson said. Nearly a dozen Wauwatosa squad cars responded to the call just before 11 a.m. Saturday. "It was a nice brawl. It came from inside to outside. If you go up there, you'll see hair, earrings, all pulled out on the ground," Wilson said. What started as a fight between two women in the crowded store evolved when several men intervened. A store employee got punched in the nose and crashed through a glass display case. He was treated for a broken nose and various cuts. Meantime, Kmart was trying to clear up the credit card mess. Two employees confirmed for police that anyone who applied was given instant credit -- from $850 up to $4,000. They also told police that people started calling other people to the store for so-called "free money." The store ran out of credit applications. One witness told police someone went to another Kmart, got some applications there and was selling them in the Wauwatosa Kmart parking lot for $20 apiece. Charges for the suspects in custody could be issued Tuesday. http://www.wsbtv.com/money/14702622/detail.html
Thanks to Arturas for sending this picture No more Vista for the Airbus!
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Irene Re: Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor/Speakers switch Dear Webby, You mentioned a switch that allows one to use one keyboard for two machines and monitors. What are they called and how do they work? Irene Dear Irene They are called KVM switches. You plug your keyboard and your mouse and your microphone and speakers or head set in on one side, and the two monitors and cables to both computers for USB, microphone and speakers on the other side of the switch. It is a good idea to untangle your cable salad beforehand and label each cable. If you do that, it's easy and works on the first try. When you start up after you connect, your mouse and keyboard control computer #1, the speakers play the sound from #1, and the monitor shows what's going on on computer #1. You hit NumLock or ScrollLock twice, and everything switches to machine #2. You can, of course, use two monitors. That way you see both the actively controlled and the other machine. The other machine does not pause, everything keeps running, you just don't actively control it with mouse and keyboard, - until you double-hit NumLock and switch the active control over to that machine. If you run two machines at the same time, a KVM switch is definitely the way to go. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old man cleared his throat, fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I had accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Deeli's Kudos November 27, 2007 - La Crosse, Wisconsin - AP You can excuse Dr. Kenneth Merkitch if he's seeing double these days. He's been an obstetrician-gynecologist at Gundersen Lutheran Medical Center for 19 years, but he said he's never experienced a 24-hour on-call period like the one he put in on Friday and Saturday, when he delivered four sets of twins. ''I don't think I ever delivered two sets of twins on a call day,'' Merkitch said. ''It was hard to believe that everything was coming in twos, but after a while you're up all night, you might as well keep delivering babies,'' he said. ''It's something I don't think I'll see again.'' Merkitch delivered one other baby during his shift; he also couldn't recall ever delivering nine babies during a similar shift. http://www.happynews.com/news/11272007/ ... -hours.htm

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Johnny thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at eleven1TY1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, He grandfather is bald."

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: San Francisco Fleet Week
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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