Dear Webby: Monitor Color Scheme 

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Good Morning, ! Thursday, Nov 29, 2007 Tomorrow is Friday. Wear something red to show your support for the troops.
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. --- William Feather
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A guy's car broke down on a remote Scottish road. Luckily, there was a cottage nearby. The guy walked over to it and knocked on the door. "Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. "No," she finally said, "but we do have a McArdle and a McKay."
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed! "Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really Doan-a lika guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?" "Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna DA business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos." "Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then... Pointa to you watch and say 'Times up!' ?"

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Bumper Stickers from 10 years ago: 1997 If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks... God's revenge for dieting. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Mikhail Ershov, 43, from Chelyabinsk, Russia Fatal Klutziness November 27, 2007 - Yekaterinburg, Russia - Reuters A Russian man blew himself up with a hand grenade Tuesday shortly after train inspectors asked to see his ticket. The inspectors thought they saw a hand grenade in the man's pocket and asked him to get off the commuter train at Asha station, in Chelyabinsk in the South Urals region. He refused and instead demanded that the train go to Vladivostok, thousands of kilometers away on Russia's Pacific coast, said Liana Ergasheva of the local prosecutor's office. Passengers were evacuated and negotiations with the police had started before Mikhail Ershov, 43, triggered the explosion, blasting out windows in the train carriage. "Ershov had taken the pin out, he then tried to put the pin back in the grenade, but instead it exploded," the prosecutor said. The explosion did not kill or injure anyone else.
Thanks to Dianne for sending these pictures of a bear attack
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Monito colors Dear Webby, My monitors (work and home) show colors as different as Fuji and Kodak. When I fix a picture to look right at home, it looks crappy on the monitor at work. And vice versa. Is one of them dying or is there an adjustment to save it? Ron Dear Ron You can adjust the color temperature of a monitor. Just play with the menu buttons until you get to a menu that has big numbers, like 4500 and going up to 9300, or sometimes even higher. A low number gives you a warm lighting, like candle light, a high number gives you a hot light, like mercury vapor or arc arc, or "cool white" fluorescent. Straight from the factory, most monitors come set at 9300, and most people never change that setting. If you set your monitor to 9300, then if a picture looks OK for you, it will look OK for most people. To see how a print job will look, lower the numbers. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast...."

Deeli's Kudos November 26, 2007 - Puerto Rico - BBC Organisers of a beauty pageant in Puerto Rico are investigating a case of sabotage after a contestant's dress and make-up were covered with pepper spray. Ingrid Marie Rivera beat 29 pageant rivals to become the 2008 Miss Universe contestant, despite breaking out twice in hives. Ms Rivera remained composed onstage before the judges, but backstage she applied ice packs to her face and body. Her clothing and make-up later tested positive for pepper spray. The pageant organisers said they hoped to catch whoever was responsible for the prank. Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted.

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Ecological Holiday Parties If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates, cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups. You also will be able to use them year after year, which will save you money. You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs. They don't take much more room to store till next year. DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Birds
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Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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