Dear Webby, dubious WORD update requests 

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Good Morning, ! Wednesday, Dec 26, 2007 Happy St Walmart's Day!
Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know. --- Cullen Hightower
A man got on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. "About two hours," says the driver. Then the man says, "Okay, then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?" The irritated driver says to the man, "It's still about two hours. Why would you think there would be a difference?" And the man said, "Well, it's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and Christmas!"
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An old man sitting on the nursing home porch turns to the old man sitting next to him and chuckles, "Winter days like this really take me back. Do you remember the first time you made love to your wife?" "Heck No", says the other fellow, "I don't even remember the LAST time...."

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Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied, "Who listens?" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to authorities who did not arrest man for aiding and abetting Who is more crooked? December 21, 2007 - Orange County, Florida - WFTV A suspected car thief on the run from Orange County deputies paid a man $50 to hide in his home. Authorities said a 15-year-old and 21-year-old Calvin Pryor stole a car and ditched it on Glen Eagle Drive in Pine Hills on Tuesday night. Pryor was caught and investigators found the teenager hiding in a bed in the house. Deputies said Pryor paid Steve Bolling the cash for the use of his home as a hideout, but Bolling's housemate alerted investigators. Bolling was not charged. The two suspects were taken to the Orange County jail. http://www.wftv.com/irresistible/14903931/detail.html
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: David Re: Unexpected WORD update nagger Dear Webby Four Quick Things 1) Merry Christmas to you too. I hope you and your family are doing well. 2) Love the new picture of the Express Empress. I clicked on the link just to show my support for that one. :-) 3) Now a Tech Question. When I go to some web sites, I get a pop up that tries to upgrade my Microsoft Word program. Of course I don't let it, but I was wondering if this was some type of spyware they are trying to download or what? 4) Thanks for another great year of the Humor Letter. David Dear David I still have MS WORD on my computer, though I don't use it any more since I upgraded to Open Office. However, I have never seen any nagger about upgrading MS WORD. Since that nagger, that you refer to, only appears when you go to certain web sites, I would suspect those certain web sites of trying to infect your computer. To be absolutely sure, though, I would do a full update with the Windows updater. Just make sure IE7 doesn't slither in amongst the security updates. When you do a full update it will analyze what you got and what you need. It IS possible that you missed some security update. Once you have made sure you got everything that you need, then you know that any further nagger is malicious. What sites produce that nagger? Have FUN! DearWebby

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The old cowboy was dying and his young grandson was visiting at his bedside. "Grandpapa, can you tell me one thing?" "Yes son, what do want to know," said the old cowboy. "Grandpapa, how did you live so long?" "Well, son," the cowboy said in a dry raspy voice, from too many hard winters in the Texas panhandle, "You just sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning and you'll live for a long, long time." The young man faithfully did what his Grandpapa told him and he lived to be 93, had 14 kids, 28 grand kids, 53 great grand kids and a twenty five foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

Deeli's Kudos December 25, 2007 - Ashland, Oregon - AP Thanks to Cookie for this Kudo Chet Fitch, known for his sense of humor, died in October at age 88 but gave his friends and family a start recently: Christmas cards, 34 of them, began arriving, written in his hand with a return address of "Heaven." The greeting read: "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, 'Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don't (tarry) there.' Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain. "Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I'll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch" The mailing was a joke Fitch worked on for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, 57. She told the Ashland Daily Tidings this week that he kept updating the mailing list and giving her extra money when postal rates went up. This fall, she said, Fitch looked up to her from the chair and said, "You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards, I think you'll probably be able to mail them this year." Fitch passed away a week later.

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at twelve1223empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg Nog French Toast I added whipped eggs to quite a bit of eggnog and made LOTS of French toast, which I then froze 4 slices to the bag for later consumption. It can be warmed with a double trip through a toaster or on medium heat in a microwave oven. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Hot Air Balloons
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby





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