Dear Webby: Pre-existing condition 

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Good Morning, ! Saturday, January 5, 2008
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything. --- Voltaire, 1737
One morning a California highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until the shovels arrive."
A man went on a ski trip and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot and we consider that a pre-existing condition."

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Thanks to Shella for this: A butcher fresh out of trade school in Canada gets a job skinning and cutting up the kills of local hunters. His first assignment is a moose. He cuts the moose up and puts the parts into carefully-marked bags: chops, steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes, he still has a pile of unidentifiable parts. He shrugs and puts them all into one large bag, which he marks "Moosellaneous." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Way Jr., 28, from Blair County, PA Insurance Ride December 28, 2007 - Harrisburg, Pennsylvania - AP A man pushed his Ford Mustang down a mountain as part of a scheme to claim it was stolen, authorities said. Richard Way Jr., 28, pushed the car down an embankment along Wopsy Mountain in Blair County last year, then reported it had been stolen from the parking lot of a hot dog restaurant, the Pennsylvania attorney general's office said. Way, of Claysburg, was arraigned last week on charges of filing false police reports, theft and insurance fraud. A cousin, Travis Knox, told police he saw Way remove stereo equipment from the Mustang and was asked to help push the car off a cliff, according to the arrest affidavit. Knox said he refused to help, and told investigators that Way confessed the crime to him a few days later.
Thanks to Joan for this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Missing Humor Letter Dear Webby, Was there a humor letter for today Friday January 4 ? * Dear Frank yes, sure. I have not missed any since spring 1994. When the sniveling ninnies censor your subscription, you can always read it on-line at Have FUN! DearWebby

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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "He's A basketball coach?"

Deeli's Kudos December 14, 2007 - Hudson, New Hampshire Kathy Desrosiers is determined to make her late husband's dreams come true. Dick Desrosiers was 58 years old when he passed away from brain cancer last March. He was a lifelong Pittsburgh Steelers fan. His illness stopped him from ever seeing a game in person. Dick told his wife he had two final wishes. "One was to have the Pittsburgh Steelers logo on his gravestone, which I did," said Kathy Desrosiers. "The other was to go to a Pittsburgh Steelers game." Kathy Desrosiers will bring her husband's urn to this Sunday's Steelers game. The oncology department at Exeter Hospital, where Dick Desrosiers was cared for, took a donation and contacted the Steelers. They are helping send Kathy Desrosiers and her son to the game.

I was working at the grocery-store checkout counter, and a woman and her son came through the line. The son unloaded the cart. Two eggs in a carton had been cracked, and half a loaf of bread had been mysteriously crushed. His mother chided him, remarking that she would have to make French toast with the injured items. He looked properly repentant until his mother walked off. Then he whispered to me, "A friend told me to try the broken egg/squashed bread routine. That's how he gets his mom to make French toast for him!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Storing Christmas Lights It is hard to get Christmas lights back in the original packaging. A quicker method is to reuse wrapping paper tubes. Attach the lights to one of the paper tubes and then wrap it around. Tape both ends and store in a large box with padding. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning. "Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go to school." "But you have to go to school," countered his mother. "You are healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer others, you are a leader. And besides, you are forty-five years old and you are the principal."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Best 2007 Lists on anything
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby

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