Dear Webby: Wandering Arrow 

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Good Morning, ! Friday, January 11, 2008 Wear something red today to show your support for the troops!
I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. --- Nancy Reagan Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. --- John Russell
David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary. “David!! David!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?” David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?”
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby- sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you clowns asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Thanks to Mary for this: When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered... It just happens that my nerves are bothering me. When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced... I just happen to be a good judge of human nature. When you compliment people it's because you use flattery to get your way... I only encourage people. When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're unbearable slow and pokey... I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship. When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because you're a spendthrift... When I do, it's because I'm generous. When you stay in bed until 11 A.M., it's because you're a lazy good-for-nothing bum... When I stay in bed a little longer, it's because I'm totally exhausted. Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a hotel in Auckland, new Zealand Total lack of security January 9, 2008 - Auckland, New Zealand - UPI A con man pretending to be an intoxicated guest tricked the staff at a New Zealand hotel into giving him a room key that he used to rob an entire family. Evelyn Black said her family had been eating dinner one night in Auckland when an unidentified man falsely identified himself as a member of their family and was given the key to their room. "He came to the desk clearly intoxicated, although we think now that may have been part of his con game. He said, 'I'm Black. Can I have my room key?" Black said that without asking for identification, hotel staff gave the man a key to the family's room, and the mistake resulted in the family losing all its valuables, including a computer and even their passports. The Canadian family was able to get new travel documents and return home, but Black told the Herald she was upset with the hotel staff's performance. http://www.arcamax.com/weirdnews/s-284034-703953
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: I want one of them, blue on one side, and green on the other!
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joyce Re: Wandering Arrow Dear Webby, I hope you can help me.I thought i seen it once on here & forgot to save it. What a ninnie i was there. OK when i am just reading or browesing pages my arrow just takes off. How can i stop it from doing that, but i need step by step instrustion, or i can't do it cause i am a ninnie & my daughter don't like helping. Love your letter every morning Thank You Joyce Dear Joyce The ninnie is your daughter for not helping. The mouse arrow taking off is usually not due to a program setting, but to too much shiny wax on your desk. Use a mouse pad, or some paper, that is not glossy, as a mouse pad. If that does not help, replace the mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Deeli's Kudos January 9, 2008 - Des Moines, Iowa - Des Moines Register Thanks to Dave for this submission After finding alcohol in her son's car, Jane Hambleton decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone by placing an ad in the local newspaper. The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom, who needs to get a life, found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet." The 48-year-old from Fort Dodge says she has fielded more than 70 telephone calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors and even a Georgia man who wanted to congratulate her. The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week — just for the feedback. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_ ... odd_car_ad

Sam had proposed to young Anni, and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked Sam the suitor. "Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I'm sure that I am." "Think long and carefully now," said Anni's father. "There are twelve of us...including uncle Izzy"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bank Those Savings for Next Christmas When I save money by using coupons or buying something on sale, I put the saved money into a savings account. By the end of the year I have enough money in the account to pay for Christmas presents without having to go into debt. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: 2007 Darwin Awards
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby





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