Dear Webby: Another registry cleaner 

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Good Morning, ! Saturday, January 26, 2008
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. --- Thomas Jefferson Is that why Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton want gun control so badly?
Thanks to Rubye for bringing back this Classic: A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take..! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives I want to know how she feels inside what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment.., why she cries.., what she means when she says: 'Nothing's wrong'.., and how I can make a woman truly happy..!' The Lord replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the session on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation, which is the act of going from a gas to a solid, while skipping the intermediate liquid stage. As an example, he gave water vapor in the air condensing on a windshield to form ice. Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept, the instructor asked if anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to a gas. He was expecting dry ice as the answer when one of the students blurted out, "Burritos!"

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Thanks to Sandie for this story: I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Has No Patience, Now Will Have No Patients ... January 25, 2008 - New York - UPI A New York physician has been indicted on charges he bilked his 92-year-old mother out of nearly $1 million. Dr. Robin Motz, 64, who allegedly used power-of-attorney to extract money from his ailing mother's accounts, also is being investigated to see if he used prescription drugs to speed her demise. The mother, Minnie Motz, had a career as a librarian but was able to amass nearly a million dollars by playing the stock market, prosecutors said. In 2004, Motz began slowly liquidating his mother's investments by writing checks to cover his credit-card bills, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office charged. Prosecutors said Motz ran up $400,000 in credit-card bills by eating out every night, taking $18,000 luxury European vacations, and picking up a third wife.
Thanks to Shirley for sending this picture: Albino Deer Photographed near Dauphin, Manitoba (110 miles or so from Winnipeg). These pictures were taken by one of the teachers from the high school in Dauphin. He took the pictures while going home from work. He lives in Onanole and travels through the park every day. This deer apparently has been seen before but never photographed.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lee Re: Another registry cleaner Hi Webby, Enjoy your newsletter.'I have a question. Are you familiar with a software program called "Advenced Cleaner"? If so, is it effective, and is there any cost involved with it. Will it interfere with any other cleaning programs I have unstalled such as window washer, or Quick clean? The company website does not have a phone number, etc. so cannot talk to anyone live. Thank you, Lee Dear Lee Dear Lee I am not familiar with that program. Windows seems to work just fine without it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Q. How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Sorority girls don't screw in lightbulbs, silly -- they prefer couches, carpets and broom closets

Deeli's Kudos January 19, 2008 - Brevard County, Florida Thanks to Dianne for this submission Retired Army Green Beret Smokey Taylor got his court martial this weekend and came away feeling good about it. Taylor, at age 80, is the oldest member of Chapter XXXIII of the Special Forces Association. He was on trial by his peers under the charge of failing to use a weapon of sufficient caliber in the shooting of an intruder at his home in Knoxville, TN, in December. Taylor had been awakened in the early morning hours of Dec. 17, 2007, when an intruder broke into his home. Then the intruder threatened him with a knife, Taylor warned him, then brought his .22 caliber pistol to bear and shot him right between the eyes. That boy had the hardest head I've ever seen, Taylor said after his trial. The bullet bounced right off. The impact knocked the would-be thief down momentarily. He crawled out of the room then got up and ran out the door and down the street. Knoxville police apprehended him a few blocks away and he now awaits trial in the Knox County jail. Charges were brought against Taylor under the premise that he should have saved the county and taxpayers the expense of a trial, could have used a .45 or .38. The .22 just wasn't enough to get the job done. Following testimony from both sides, Taylor was acquitted of the charges and was given a round of applause. After the trial new information was given that the perp had soiled his pants as he crawled out of the house. Meanwhile, back in Knox County, the word is out: Donít go messing with Smokey Taylor. He just bought a whole bunch of fresh ammo.

Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too: "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Keeping Paint Off Hinges It can be difficult to put masking tape on hinges to keep paint off them. Instead, cover them with petroleum jelly. Any paint that gets on them will be easy to wipe off, even after the paint dries. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing. "Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place." "I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

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Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Festival Net
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby

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