Dear Webby: Windows can't open attachments 

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Good Morning, ! Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Every calling is great when greatly pursued. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so. --- Robert Orben
Thanks to Cookie for this story: Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this true story. A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store. Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely. Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager! The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction. When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. No ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar warm friendly grin and he said to the woman, "You put it in your purse."
Jon lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. His house was literally right downtown. But he had no indoor plumbing. He did, however, have an outhouse. The older he got, though, the further away it seemed to get. One night, he decided to just skip the trip. Instead, he decided to just relieve himself right there off the front porch. His wife was pretty pissed about his decision. "Jon, you moron. Our neighbors can see you when you do this, you know." He'd not given THAT scenario much thought, so he promised his wife he'd not do it again. Not too many nights later, though, it turned bitterly cold. Right in the middle of the night he had to piss like a race horse. He got up, put on his slippers, and headed out of the bedroom to do his business. He was back in two shakes (so to speak). His wife, suspicious as wives are apt to be, said, "You weren't gone very long." "That's right." "You went off the porch again, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." "We had a talk about this, remember? The neighbors could see you, right. They'll know it was you and what you're doing out there." "Naw, they won't know it's me! This time I was squatting down!"

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A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" "Sure. Do you know the bulls only service the cows once a year?" "Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?" "Lady, the point is this: if I was playing with your boobs twice a day for half an hour, but you got laid only once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award goes to James and Jon Herbert in Charlotte, North Carolina Should have known better! January 27, 2008 - Charlotte, North Carolina - UPI National Hot Rod Association drag racer Doug Herbert's two sons were killed in a car crash in North Carolina, it was reported Sunday. Herbert's sons, James, 12, and Jon, 18, reportedly were on their way to get some breakfast Saturday when they collided with an oncoming vehicle while attempting to pass another car in Cornelius. Both boys died at the scene, while those in the other vehicle were treated for non-life-threatening injuries at a local hospital.
Thanks to my Roberta for sending this picture: Erect-Crested penguin My Family and I spent a wonderful week in Boston and Salem. Here is one of our Many pictures Roberta
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Judy Re: Windows can't open attachments Good Morning Webby I receive e-mails with attachements. Some of them I cannot open. Invalid file type error. Windows does not reconize the file and unable to open attachement . I have WindowXP and Internet Explore 7.It was suggested to use Reg Care a free download to correct the problem. do you know anythig about Reg Care and would it help my problem. Judy Dear Judy If Windows refuses to open an attachment, it quite possibly is malicious stuff. Reg Care won't help you at all, it's probably bad stuff too. What kinds of attachments do you get, that Windows refuses to open ? The safest policy nowadays is: When in doubt, dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two Greek virgins get married and go on their honeymoon. However, they have no idea what there supposed to do once they get to their hotel room. The newlyweds decide to call his mother and get some advice on what to do. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together and snuggle with each other and things should start to happen from there. The newlyweds start to do this but nothing else happens. He calls his mother back to find out what to do next. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers in bed, and nature should takes its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice but still nothing. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest thing!" and hangs up on him. A few minutes later he reluctantly calls his mother back, "Well, I have my nose in her armpit. What do I do next?"

Deeli's Kudos January 4, 2008 - Chicago, Illinois - Reuters A Chicago tavern said on Thursday it will begin selling chicken wings coated in one of the world's hottest peppers -- a dish so hot that patrons first have to sign a waiver agreeing not to sue for injuries. Jake Melnick's Corner Tap said the wings made with Red Savina pepper will be served with an alarm bell for patrons to summon waiters with sour cream, milk, sugar and white bread if things get out of hand. Levy Restaurants, which owns the tavern, said its chef d'Cuisine Robin Rosenberg had been working on the concept for years but was never sure he'd be able to serve it. "This isn't the right sauce for everyone, but for someone out there, this is going to be absolute heaven. Of course, for a handful of people, it's going to be hell," he said. ... d_wings_dc

The high-school cheerleader confessed to her kindly old Priest that she'd often have sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. "Now my daughter," consoled the Priest, "I'm sure if you think about it, you'll know you've been doing something wrong." "Yeah, I guess you right." replied the cheerleader. "Maybe it would be more comfortable in the back seat."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Save Lemon Rinds When you use a lemon, don't throw away the peel. Put it in a baggy and toss it in the freezer. Then you will have it handy if you encounter a recipe that needs lemon zest. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," he said, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible we could never do it. Yes Mr. President, we will try." and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in senators!"

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Birds of Australia
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby

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