Dear Webby: sbcglobal mail problems 



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Good Morning,  !
Saturday,  February 2, 2008

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing. --- Albert Einstein
Thanks to Roland for this classic: Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few weeks, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 BILLION dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
TRANSLATION OF VACATION TERMS When choosing a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising terminology and their meanings . . . Tropical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rainy. Old world charm . . . . . . . . No bath. Open bar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Free ice cubes Pre registered rooms . . . . .Both already occupied. Majestic setting . . . . . . . . . A long way from town. Secluded hideaway . . . . . . Impossible to find except by cab Options galore . . . . . . . . . . Nothing on the itinerary is included. Knowledgeable trip hosts . .They've been on a greyhound once Gentle breezes . . . . . . . . . OccasionalGale force winds. Plush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Top and bottom sheets. Light and airy . . . . . . . . . . No air conditioning. Picturesque . . . . . . . . . . . Cutie on the billboard across the street Nominal fee . . . . . . . . . . . . Outrageous charge. Explore on your own . . . . . Pay for it yourself. No extra fees . . . . . . . . . . . No extras. Standard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sub-standard. Deluxe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Standard. Superior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . One free shower cap. All the amenities . . . . . . . . Shower cap and soap. Internet access . . . . . . . . You need your own dial-up account Only 25 cents per call . . . We knock you off-line every 5 minutes

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The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Berkley, California town council Pinko Hyppocrites February 1, 2008 - Berkeley, California - Contra Costa Times Thanks to David for this submission Hey-hey, ho-ho, the Marines in Berkeley have got to go. That's the message from the Berkeley City Council, which voted 8-1 Jan. 29 to tell the Marines that its Shattuck Avenue recruiting station "is not welcome in the city, and if recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome intruders." In addition, the council voted to explore enforcing its law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation against the Marines, and officially encouraged the fanatical left wing Pro-Castro / Anti Bush feminist group Code Pink to impede the work of the Marines in the city by protesting in front of the station. In a separate council item, the council voted 8-1 to give Code Pink a designated parking space in front of the recruiting station once a week for six months and a free sound permit for protesting once a week from noon to 4 p.m. For about the past four months, Code Pink has been protesting in front of the station. Sound Off...What do you think? Join the discussion: http://forums.military.com/eve/forums/a ... 61001/p/21 http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,1 ... 14,00.html ------------------------------- Code pink was founded by pro-Castro and pro-Chavez radical Medea Benjamin, and works closely with Cindy Sheehan and Jodie Evans. Code Pink receives financial support from the Tides Foundation, the Streisand Foundation, and the New Priorities Foundation. For much of 2005, Code Pink for Peace staged weekly noisy protests outside of Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where many U.S. soldiers wounded in combat are treated. If you want to read up about Code Pink: About Code Pink http://snipurl.com/1ysvr
Thanks to Deeli for sending this picture: Thanks to Deeli for this: How the stock market works Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each." The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Some even got loans from a new bank in order to buy monkeys at $35 ! Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys and bankers everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosalie Re: sbcglobal problems Dear Webby, I have been signed up to your web site for a long time and yet I only get your e-mails maybe once a month or every other month. I also signed up to Webby's site and never get anything, although I use to receive it everyday. Don't' know what the problem is but I sure do miss your's and Webby's everyday musings. Rosalie ******@sbcglobal.net Dear Rosalie With Yahoo's sbcglobal you have to expect that. It is not something you did or didn't do. All Yahoos have that problem. Just get yourself a free gmail address for important stuff. If you want a referral, let me know and I will generate one for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Brigit for this report: In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and to the racks where we slept as "my racks." One time when when we were whispering in the head (bathroom) while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us. To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?"

Deeli's Kudos February 1, 2008 - Plympton, Devon, UK - Ananova A nine-year-old boy steered his mother's car to safety across three lanes of traffic when she blacked out at 70mph. Jonathan Anderson grabbed the steering wheel as the car lost control and hit the central barrier of the A38 in Plympton, Devon. Emergency services praised Jonathan for averting a much more serious accident and said he would receive a special bravery certificate. His mother, Marion Anderson, 34, who runs a curtain-making business, said: "He is my little superhero. The last thing I remember is driving over the flyover to take Jonathan to school. Jonathan said: "Mummy passed out so I held the steering wheel, pulled the handbrake and put the hazard lights on. The car stopped and the windscreen was smashed. It was scary because I have never driven a car before." http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2707244.html?menu=

A boy was watching his father, a preacher, write a sermon. He asked, "How do you know what to say, dad?" His father said, "Why, God tells me, son." The boy was silent for a moment, then said, "Then why do you keep crossing things out?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 1empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Mail Box As A Train Tunnel If you know a toy train enthusiast (or are one yourself) you can use an old metal mailbox to create a tunnel for your train. Just remove the door and back of the mailbox and let your toy train travel through it. An old, worn out door mat or throw rug works fine too. Build the track first. It can be curved and even exit on the same side higher up, like the spiral tunnel at Kicking Horse Pass http://www.acs.ucalgary.ca/~keay/sprial.html Use a 2" vaccum cleaner hose or similar spacer on the track, drape the throw rug over it and sprinkle it with cement and water. You don't need a lot, it just has to be stiff enough, that it doesn't collapse when you pull the hose out a day later. You can, of course also use boxes or pieces of wood as spacers and create a realistic looking mountain. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, "We had twins!" The family was so excited, they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?" The father paused, smiled and said, "Each other."

If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Yellowstone National park
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby





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