Dear Webby, how to align pictures in email? 

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Good Morning,  !
Saturday,  February 9, 2008

A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ' The United States of America', for an amount of 'up to and including his life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.
Thanks to Martin for this quiz: In case you don't ace it, the answer is near the end.

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A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "That would be 4, I think." "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!" Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chris Foster of Dorset, UK Low Key February 7, 2008 - Dorset, UK - Ananova A drunk student swallowed his room key so his friends couldn't take him home and put him to bed. When Chris Foster woke up, after sleeping on a friend's sofa, he had no recollection of the incident. After telling doctors what may have happened, the computer design student underwent an x-ray and was stunned to see the two-inch Yale key lying in the pit of his stomach. Medics told him to let nature take its course - and the key emerged 31 hours later. Chris cleaned it up and put it back on his keyring. Chris said: "I slept on a friend's sofa that night and I couldn't find it anywhere the next day. I thought it was a bit of a wind up when my friend said that I had swallowed it. "But my throat started to feel very sore and my stomach didn't feel right so my friend took me to hospital on the bus. "I was stunned when I first saw the key in my stomach but then couldn't stop laughing - even the doctors were sniggering."
Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Daniel Re: Pictures in email Dear Webby two can you enlarge a picture that is on an email you are sending, and why won't my stamp stay on the right side of the email ? as soon as i touch a key,it slides to the left side. thanks again, daniel, Dear Daniel You can't enlarge pictures in email after you have pasted them. You have to make them larger before you paste them. To make a picture stay on the right side, with Eudora you highlight the picture, then click on the Right-Align button. DearWebby
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me..... I know we've been friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Deeli's Kudos WEYMOUTH, Mass. A 27-year-old man who fell through the ice while walking home in the dark survived the frigid plunge thanks to a neighbor who skidded across the pond in a canoe. Rescuers and neighbors could hear Jason Dubois' cries for help but could not initially see him in the dark at 2 a.m. Sunday as he was treading water in Whitman's Pond in Weymouth. ''It was very disturbing. He was saying, 'I'm going down. Don't let me die.' It was really scary,'' neighbor John Volta said. ''I just grabbed the canoe and went off like on a skateboard out to him and then the ice started to crack, so I just pushed it as far as I could and then the fireman came up beside me.'' Volta was treated for hypothermia and released from a local hospital. Authorities say they were lucky to have the canoe to help the rescue. A fire station a half-mile from the pond has an ice boat, but the station was closed because of budget constraints. ... d-pond.htm ----------------------- A canoe is actually a bad idea, it's keel ridge puts all the weight onto a very small area. The best ice rescue tool, aside from the safety ropes, is an air mattress with a thin sheet of plywood on top. A twin size air mattress distributes the weight so well, that half an inch of ice is plenty to carry me and another person quite safely. DearWebby

A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk, my son. Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound & your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and won't be able to think of anything else." He added, "But don't worry, it's perfectly normal... it's called golf."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Caulking and Stain Patch any caulking that is missing or damaged around your house or chimney. If you have a wood fence, deck or outdoor furniture you should inspect it in the spring to see if you are going to need to re-stain it. Staining your outdoor furniture and fencing will dramatically increase their lifetime. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Only six more days until GUILT DAY ! If you forget Valentines Day, you will be shown the meaning of guilt! Don't feel mushy and romantic? Don't worry ! Go to and send, or PRE-send a funny cuPIG card. You can PRE-send cards now, while you remember, to arrive on Guilt Day. By the way, if you DO feel mushy, you can send traditional, cute and mushy Valentines cards from Hicards too.

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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Salt Industry
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby

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