Dear Webby: Short URLs 



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Good Morning,  !
Tuesday,  February 19, 2008

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. --- Henry Kissinger Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. --- Charles Caleb Colton
Thanks to Bob for this story: Mick and Paddy had promised their uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a while Mick says, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?' Paddy slips over the side only to find himself standing in water up to his knees. 'Dis'll never do, Mick. Let's row some more.' After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up to his belly, so they row on. Again Mick asks Paddy, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?' Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No dis'll neva do.' The water was only up to his chest. So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.'Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?' 'Aye it 'tis, hand me da shovel.'

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In 1875 a Danish couple converted to became Mormons and moved to Cache Valley Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were self sufficient for a couple of years. By the third year, the husband decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of the time did. His wife was not too keen on the idea, so he convinced a Swedish neighbor to help in a plan to convince her. "Let us go to the barn, and pray for guidance on this major decision", said the husband. Whatever God tells us, that's what we'll do". They went to the barn, got on their knees, and old farmer Madsen started with the usual openings to Mormon prayers. After a few minutes of this, he posed the question: "heavenly father, should I take another wife?" Farmer Olson was in the rafters, as previously arranged, and in the most booming, deep voice he could muster, said "Brother Madsen, I command thee to take another wife". After a moment, farmer Madsen looked over to his wife, and saw that she was sobbing uncontrollably. He put his arm around her, and said, "There there, a second wife will be an addition to the family, but she will never be a replacement for you. I'll still love you just as much." Mrs. Madsen said "I have no problem with you taking a second wife, I've been resigned to that for a year now. But in my worst nightmare, I NEVER imagined that God had a Swedish accent!" Jack called into a local radio station and told the 'morning guys' that his wife had given him an ultimatum: until he quit smoking, he wasn't going to get any sex. They asked him, "How long do you think you'll be able to hold out?" His reply: "Until my girlfriend dies of old age." Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerry Keene, 40, and Elizabeth Blankenship, 48, both from English, West Virginia Poor dress code February 15, 2008 - English, West Virginia - AP A robbery suspect tried to hide his face with a pair of underwear but the disguise didn't fool witnesses. Police arrested Jerry Keene, 40, and Elizabeth Blankenship, 48, both of English, a short time after the pair robbed the Hillbilly Market in English Tuesday night. McDowell County sheriff's Chief Deputy Mark Shelton says Blankenship went into the convenience store and then left. Keene then entered, concealing his face with the underwear, showed a gun and demanded money. Shelton said witnesses identified the suspect, despite the disguise. Blankenship and Keene were each charged with armed robbery. They were being held Wednesday night at the McDowell County Holding Facility. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/custom ... 0126.story
Thanks to Ann for this picture: Mondays!
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cindy Re: Short URLs Dear Webby, You often use short coded URLs. Initially that used to scare me, because I could not see the name of the sites. Eventually I got used to that and began to like the short URLs. How can I compile or make them? Cindy Dear Cindy Just go to http://snipurl.com/ and paste in the long URL. Then click on SNIP IT, and it will put the short URL into your clip-bord and also into a field above. That's all there is to it. Have DearWebby

A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank !" Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know you gave me twenty dollars too much. Bye. "

Deeli's Kudos February 15, 2008 - Northglenn, Colorado - AP Undercover police officers posing as flower deliverymen on Valentine' Day arrested 23 people with outstanding warrants. The Northglenn officers used a van with a sign saying "Flower Delivery" and knocked on doors bearing a long-stem rose box to net their quarry. "Hello there. Happy Valentine's Day," Officer Matt Hindman told one man wanted in this northern Denver suburb for failing to appear in court on a marijuana possession charge. The man asked for a pen to sign for delivery. Hindman announced: "Northglenn police undercover, OK? You've got a warrant for your arrest, OK?" "Honestly it didn't click with me until I heard, 'Northglenn police' and then he pulled out the badge and I thought, 'Damn you guys are good,'" Madden said. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080216/D8UR5JAG0.html

"Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?" "Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what will you live on?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 211empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Film In Fridge Before storing film, be sure to put it in a zip lock freezer bag and squeeze all the air out before sealing. Let the film warm to room temperature before using it. Try to avoid letting the film warm and cool several times since this can cause condensation. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now? John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line. Mary: What kind is it? John: Twelve-thirty.

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Thanks to Lillemor for today's Bonus Link: US Military Losses 1980 - 2006
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby





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